Family says I'm stupid for this. ** edit

[QJsmommy]

I have a nine month old, his dad broke up with me when I found out, then we got back together a few days later, at 8 weeks he did it again late July (the worst time, a day after my baby brother died) he was in and out my whole pregnancy, hed call say he was coming, wouldn't show up, ect. He missed the birth, said horrible things about our son and denied him until a few months ago. from august, the month after he left he moved in with his ex who had just given birth to their son(long story) and always messed with my head. Recently he moved out of his crazy now ex girlfriends again and we have been talking. We want another baby, and even if we aren't together I still only want another baby with him. I don't want more than one baby's father and I honestly can't imagine having sex with someone else since I had his kid, it just doesn't seem right to have sex with the private that gave birth to his kid. My whole family bashes me about it, saying I'm stupid and ect. But really at least I know what to except from him, say I get pregnant by someone else and he dips out too, it's the same unexpected heartbreak all over again... Does this really sound that stupid? Is my family right?

** I'm not trying to stick up for him BUT a big reason we had problems and he denied our son for a while is becuz my "bestfriend" for 6 yrs had this secret obsession with him and went behind my back told him I always cheated on him and the few times we went out and drank I had sex with multiple guys which is not true at all! and she pulled the 'I didn't want to tell you becuz she's my best friend but I thought you should know' bs. And he got hired at the place she worked and she had all her coworkers say that stuff too. We only met in January I got pregnant in June so really I can't blame him for believing her but I'm still pissed he didn't see thru it since two days later she was trying to suck his dick in the bathroom at work!

[susieQ680]

I would be afraid to get hurt again

[SinceresMomma]

Your just love struck. Give it a while and see him for what he really is. Why would you put yourself in that position expecting to get hurt again or be raising another child on your own. Now that part is stupid. Move on and wait for someone worth being a real father.

[elizabeth.mary]

I am sorry, but yes.
This is stupid.

I know it's hard, because you've had a child with him, but he's only using you.
There is NOTHING wrong with having children with more than one person.
I'm not syaing go get knocked up by some random dude.

Just wait until you're over him.
Cut him out of your life as much as possible to get over him.
Wait until you find another man who is really worth your time and loves you more than anything.
THEN have another baby.

Spend time with and cherish the child you have right now.

[latoya513]

So true. Learn your worth as a woman.

Quoting SinceresMomma:

Your just love struck. Give it a while and see him for what he really is. Why would you put yourself in that position expecting to get hurt again or be raising another child on your own. Now that part is stupid. Move on and wait for someone worth being a real father.

[latoya513]

And being a new mom, please want more for your child. You only want to have his babies? Sounds like he's using you when he feels like it. No sex with anybody else? I agree you're love struck sweets but he sounds like a scumbag.

Quoting latoya513:

So true. Learn your worth as a woman.

Quoting SinceresMomma:

Your just love struck. Give it a while and see him for what he really is. Why would you put yourself in that position expecting to get hurt again or be raising another child on your own. Now that part is stupid. Move on and wait for someone worth being a real father.

[janedoe2233]

How old are you?  Are you hitting menopause anytime soon?  I mean, I understand that thought process...I wanted to stay with my ex too, thinking I'd like to have another child so both my kids have the same father.  I'm only 17 weeks pregnant now with my son.  I realized I'm only 24, and I have A LOT of time left to find a better man than him.  Your ex doesnt sound so great.  Focus on your little one and then have another later on, when the time is right  And also, WHY is your ex talking about wanting another baby when he has TWO young ones already?  It sounds like he is manipulating you bigtime right now. 

[SexyDiva19]

Quoting SinceresMomma:

Your just love struck. Give it a while and see him for what he really is. Why would you put yourself in that position expecting to get hurt again or be raising another child on your own. Now that part is stupid. Move on and wait for someone worth being a real father.

[faerie75]

Es. Youre fam is being mean about it but they're right. You are not only selling yourself short, but your kid too. You are teaching him about relationships. Is this really what you want for your kid? Tolerating bad treatment because "you don't want another babys daddy" or "at east I know what to expect" is like saying that men can do what they want and you as a woman should stay in your place and that you basically think nothing of yourself. You would take him back after he had a kid from someone else? Find some pride,.girl.

[faerie75]

Oh and ps... he idnt stay for your first kid so what makes you think he'd stay for another? Kids deserve both parents if possible and you are basically taking that from a second kid if you know how he is. Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me.

[crzynonnie]

Trust me, you DONT want to do that!  I had THREE kids with a very mean, manipulative, hateful man.  We were married for 16 LONG, PAINFUL years.  He cheated on me, abused me and the kids.  I finally divorced him 7 years ago and he has tried to destroy me ever since.  He has turned two of my children against me, my youngest doesn't want anything to do with me right now.  I was the ONLY parent those kids knew when they were young.  He was NEVER around, he traveled for his job about 90% of the time.  I used to beg him to stay home and pay attention to me and the kids.  He never did, he played mind games with us.  When I finally found the courage to leave he finally showed up for the kids and used them as pawns against me, poisoned their minds against me.  Luckilly my 17 yr old knows how evil he is but he has done his damage to her, she has a lot of problems now due to how he has treated her and now abandoned her.  He hasn't seen or spoken to her in over 2 years.

PLEASE do NOT have another child with this man!!  I wish I would have NEVER even met my ex husband.  Yes, I have three kids from it but my life has been a living hell ever since!!!!  I just pray it gets better for me someday!