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This post is a place for us to share advice, questions and personal stories about child custody.

Here are some tips from the moms in this group:

  • Put children's needs first
  • Don't talk negatively about the other parent/minimize tension and agression
  • Pick your battles
  • Assure children that both parents love them
  • Be creative with visitation when it comes to friends, activities and holidays



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Please share your best advice for those facing custody issues below!


by on Dec. 22, 2011 at 2:27 PM
Replies (241-243):
by on Jun. 20, 2014 at 1:18 PM

My son's father isn't on birth certificate. My son is 2.5. He only shows up a few times every 4 months. He used to physical and verbally abuse me. This is how I got my son. Now I am afraid of him. I used to let him come around whenever, but as my child gets older I feel like its emotional abuse towards him now. I do not want him on child support, because I know he doesn't have job and I do not want him to have rights to my son. I would never give him my son. He is an ex-drug dealer, and heavy weed smoker. He has an unmarked gun. He keeps showing up at my sons daycare after being told he wasn't allowed in there. God please someone help me.

by on Jun. 27, 2014 at 12:59 PM

Anyone experience a situatin where your ex violated a court order? We have shared care, neither one of us is the primary caregiver. He informed that he is moving into his gfs house which is in another town (in the CO it states that neither one of us is to move out of the county until after mediation but I'm assuming he doesn't realize that).

by on Sep. 7, 2014 at 9:55 PM

I have tried to do these things. When I went through my divorce my ex said I could have full custody (I still have proof). My lawyer advised against it. So, we have joint custody. I have primary physical care. My ex has married a lady who used to be my best friend, his best friend's wife. Together they were the leaders of children's ministry in our church. So, their new stepmom was someone they knew and trusted. She had 4 kids who were my 4 kid's best friends as well. Obviously my kids were affected by their father's decisions. My 9 year old hardly ever talks to his dad. My 5 year old does on occassion. My 11 year old tries to talk to his dad, but unfortunately (the one out of 100 times he actually responds at all) his dad uses their conversations as ways to verbally abuse him. My 14 month old does not even know who his father is. My ex had visitation at Christmas and Spring Break last year. He was supposed to get them for 5 weeks this summer. He did not exercise his rights. My 11 year old told his dad that he hopes they get to go for Christmas and his father wanted to know why he would want to go for Christmas and told him it was probably just to get more gifts. By court I have been ordered to tell him when I take the kids to the doctor. He told me he doesn't want me to do that. The only reason I gave him joint custody is because my lawyer said when the kids were with him for visitation if he has joint custody he can easily take them to a doctor if he needs to. Of course I want my kids to be able to get medical attention quickly and easily if they need to.  Now that he has decided not to exercise his visitation, does not want to hear about our kids' lives and has become verbally abusive to our children I want to seek full custody with no contact. I am worried that my oldest son will be angry with me, but I honestly think it is for his own good. If I could get it, it would mean that his dad can not hurt him any more. Now for my questions: Do I have a good case for sole custody? The divorce was finalized in Iowa. However, my children have lived in TN with me since November. So, which state would have jurisdiction? I have done as much investigation online as I can. I believe TN would have jurisdiction because this has been the kid's "home state" for over 6 months. I also think I have a chance at sole custody if the court would consider my evidence as verbal abuse. I would love anyone's input.

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