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This post is a place for us to share advice, questions and personal stories on child support.  


Here are some tips from moms in this group:

  • Creating a child support schedule without involving the court
  • Visitation when not receiving child support
  • Receiving child support while on public assistance
  • Employer withholding of child support
  • Collecting past due support payments

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Please share your best advice for those facing child support issues below!

by on Dec. 22, 2011 at 2:45 PM
Replies (41-50):
jarkrt
by on Feb. 8, 2012 at 12:19 AM
11 moms liked this

If you want to find a current address for your ex (so he/she can be served for contempt on a CS order or whatever the case may be) and you don't mind "bending" the law a bit and he/she is trying to stay under the radar and you have their social (and know a bit about their background), run a credit report. 

Get the once-per-year-freebie credit report from the 3 major credit bureaus at freecreditreport.com. For the purpose of getting a nice, full listing of current and previous addresses, I have heard "from a little birdie," of course, that Experian will show you what you need to know. 

And I won't post this anonymously because I don't care what anyone thinks about the legality/morality of doing it. Some non-custodial parents are such pricks, and child support enforcement is essentially useless when it becomes "complicated" to find the NCP, they deserve to be found in any way possible. Then, get in touch with CSE (if that's who you go through) and update the NCP's address. CSE will be forced to get off their butts and verify the address. Then, the deadbeat mom/dad can't hide from being served. And they will never know how they managed to be found despite all their cowardly efforts lmao.

I'd like to add that perhaps if these men/women were a constant in their child's life, custodial parents wouldn't have to go to such extremes. For those who can't afford to hire a PI, this is a good idea. And if your afraid of it getting traced back to you, there are easy, free ways to ping your IP address all over the place (PM if you wanna know more). Time for these "boys" to man the f*** up. 


big_mama_2012
by on Feb. 17, 2012 at 1:15 PM
1 mom liked this

HI I NEED SOME HELP IM TRYING TO GET CHILD SPPORT FOR 2 MY 2 YEAR OLD BUT I DONT KNOW HOW TO DO IT

Cafe AmyS
by Head Admin on Feb. 17, 2012 at 2:40 PM

Hi!

Your first step should be to talk with a lawyer (many offer free consultations) who can advise you from there.

Good luck!

Quoting big_mama_2012:

HI I NEED SOME HELP IM TRYING TO GET CHILD SPPORT FOR 2 MY 2 YEAR OLD BUT I DONT KNOW HOW TO DO IT


txangelco84
by on Feb. 19, 2012 at 11:22 AM


Quoting tyfry7496:

Call your child support worker and report the nonpayment.

Quoting txangelco84:

If there is a court order on child support, how do I make someone make him pay child support?

I have done that.... they have jsut sent me a letter stating the fact that they cannot find him! Yet recently he has given me his number and address so I have it to them.... but they still will not inforce it! He is still able to file for taxes and recieves it!

MollyJmommy
by on Feb. 19, 2012 at 11:27 AM
My daughter is on badgercare and they want to get child support but I don't know how to find her dad we met a year and a half ago had sex and I havent heard from him or seen him since. What happens if we can't find him?
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
jarkrt
by on Feb. 20, 2012 at 7:27 AM
I would be happy to do some research for you, regarding child support enforcement laws in your state. I need to know what state (for both of you), how much he is behind on support, and the enforcement actions (if any) the state has taken.

Since you have a current address, it's a matter of demanding child support enforcement to take action while quoting the laws (you would be surprised how quickly they seem to change their tune), and basically, being the squeaky wheel they can't ignore. And if that doesn't work, you go up the ladder.

Hell, i've even called the enforcing county to call the county where my ex lived, and he got picked up, serving 60 days in jail for contempt of nonpament. And i did it because child support enforcement wouldn't do their job. You can PM me. It seems like all I ever do is research these days :)

*I jokingly refer to these situations as "governor mode" :)

Quoting txangelco84:
Kelly1308
by on Feb. 20, 2012 at 7:37 AM

All I can say in regards to this is the child support system sucks.  My divorce was finalized in Dec.  Everything was suppose to take place in Jan thru the cs office.  What a nightmare.  My ex was suppose to be making direct payments to the cs office until it began coming out of his check.  I had to ride him nonstop like a little kid about sending the money in until this took place.  Then, when it finally did start coming out of his check, his company cuts a paper check out of UTAH and sends it here to Texas cs office then they have to process it and it goes into my account.  This process for one weeks pay takes at least 2 weeks to get into my acct.  This sucks.  I thought it was going to be cut and dry once it started coming out of exs check but nope it isn't.  He also has to pay for medical expenses.  His excuse for not paying me is that he has 30 days as stated in the decree to send me that if he even does it.  So basically, I am out the medical as well.  When contacting the cs office for help they were rude and not supportive in giving me any answers.  Good luck with that process.  My experience has been hell. 

Kelly1308
by on Feb. 20, 2012 at 7:40 AM
1 mom liked this

What about Texas?  My ex is paying some but is in the rears.  They told me at the child support office that basically if he is paying something they will not do one damn thing.  WTH???  This is ridiculous.  I hate the system and I have only been dealing with it for a couple of months.  They are clearly not for women and their rights/single moms.  I just want to scream!!! LOL

Quoting jarkrt:

I would be happy to do some research for you, regarding child support enforcement laws in your state. I need to know what state (for both of you), how much he is behind on support, and the enforcement actions (if any) the state has taken.

Since you have a current address, it's a matter of demanding child support enforcement to take action while quoting the laws (you would be surprised how quickly they seem to change their tune), and basically, being the squeaky wheel they can't ignore. And if that doesn't work, you go up the ladder.

Hell, i've even called the enforcing county to call the county where my ex lived, and he got picked up, serving 60 days in jail for contempt of nonpament. And i did it because child support enforcement wouldn't do their job. You can PM me. It seems like all I ever do is research these days :)

*I jokingly refer to these situations as "governor mode" :)

Quoting txangelco84:


jarkrt
by on Feb. 20, 2012 at 7:45 AM
I have only personally dealt with georgia (unfortunately). In my state, the arrears have to equal an x amount of months of what the non custodial parent is supposed to pay before the state takes action. But I will look up texas law and get back to you before the day is over.

Quoting Kelly1308:


mommynac
by on Feb. 20, 2012 at 7:50 AM

IMO, you really need to speak to an attorney.

Quoting aidensmommy2012:

Hi Everyone,

I could really use some help and general support. The breakup with my son's father was very bad. Its tense always. I have his father constantly being pushy etc. I eventually put a court order in place. Modified visitation was awarded to him. Here in TX that is basically supervised visits until he completes the necessary steps to be awarded standard visitation. As far as custody is concerned, I believe it is set that we share custody, but I am the primary custodian. Anyway, he has moved and left the state now. He had never paid the child support set by the court and hasn't completed the visitation part yet either.

What I am wondering is that with him out of the state now, does the current visitation that is set still stand? If I ever let him take our son for a visit out of state, will I have trouble getting him back if he doesn't want to? Any advice or knowledge anyone can offer will be great.


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