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Separation & Divorce 101

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This post is a place for us to share advice, questions and personal stories about separation and divorce.  

 

Here are some topics that have been discussed in this group:

  • Deciding to relocate after divorce
  • Remaining friends after the break-up
  • Meeting the ex's new partner
  • Assuring the children that they are not the cause of the break-up
  • Mediation

fingers crossed

For more help:

Click here to see what Single Moms are discussing on the group today:
Let's Talk! Click here to see more posts...

Please share your best advice for those going through a divorce or separation in the replies below.

by on Dec. 22, 2011 at 2:54 PM
Replies (71-80):
Cafe AmyS
by Head Admin on Sep. 28, 2012 at 8:43 PM

Welcome to the group.  

I don't know if he'll ever get over his anger, but yet it's possible.  In the meantime, all you can do is worry about taking care of yourself and your sons and not stress out about your ex.

Quoting inspiration55:

I am a mother of two i have a 10 year old boy and a 6 year old boy. I was never married to the man I was dating for almost 10 years. I believe he is an alcoholic, he has had several DUI's in rehab two times. He can not get his head around the fact that I don not trust him. He wants to be married but doesn't understand that I gave him to many chnaces. Is it possiable that one day he will stop being mad at me and move on with his own life.


Cafe AmyS
by Head Admin on Sep. 28, 2012 at 8:44 PM

Easy.... unless he's the father of your child and has visitation/custody rights, you just stay away from him.  If you need to, change your phone #, get a protective order, etc if he's been violent at all.

Quoting inspiration55:

How do I stay away from an ex with known drug and alcohol abuse? 


Cafe AmyS
by Head Admin on Sep. 28, 2012 at 8:45 PM

Welcome.  I'm sorry for the break up of your relationship. 

Don't be afraid, you will figure out a way to make things work for your daughter & yourself.  It might take time, but you'll get there.

Quoting 2Percent:

I'm in the very beginning pf separating from my boyfriend of 4 years, with soon to be 2 year old daughter.  He has stated that he isn't happy in our relationship and is going to be moving out.  I'm so scared that I won't be able to provide for my daughter like I should since i'm going from a 2 income family to single income and not making much... If anyone can give me advise please help... Never thought I would be the one going thru this. 


mmiller1980
by on Oct. 2, 2012 at 2:01 AM

I'm a single (divorced) mom of two great kids.  One has ADHD and one is speech delayed.  My ex left us 3 1/2 years ago for another woman after 10 years of us being together and 7 years of marriage.  My youngest was just 5 months old.

GPJ2012
by on Oct. 2, 2012 at 2:44 PM

You put words to this big black hole that I have been feeing.  I am a ghost of the woman I was before getting pregnant then married to my significant other who is irish catholic and bipolar. The shame and stigma we were both constantly force to feel about the conception of our son out of wedlock was suffocating. Then it seemed that at every rough turn, we were confronted with almost content and "well we are not surprised" looks.  So now my "husband" has left me to go live with his parents and I have to raise my two year old alone. I know I can do it. I am alive and that is a blessing, my son and his happiness are blessings. But gosh I wish I had had a little more preparation. I have had my head in the sand for so long!

Cafe AmyS
by Head Admin on Oct. 4, 2012 at 4:32 PM

Welcome!

Quoting mmiller1980:

I'm a single (divorced) mom of two great kids.  One has ADHD and one is speech delayed.  My ex left us 3 1/2 years ago for another woman after 10 years of us being together and 7 years of marriage.  My youngest was just 5 months old.


Cafe AmyS
by Head Admin on Oct. 4, 2012 at 4:34 PM

Welcome!

I'm sorry that you feel like you're just a shell of your former self, it's not true.  You just need to move forward and find yourself again.  You can be, and I'm sure are, a great parent and you need to forgive yourself for what you perceive to be past mistakes.  (((hug)))

Quoting GPJ2012:

You put words to this big black hole that I have been feeing.  I am a ghost of the woman I was before getting pregnant then married to my significant other who is irish catholic and bipolar. The shame and stigma we were both constantly force to feel about the conception of our son out of wedlock was suffocating. Then it seemed that at every rough turn, we were confronted with almost content and "well we are not surprised" looks.  So now my "husband" has left me to go live with his parents and I have to raise my two year old alone. I know I can do it. I am alive and that is a blessing, my son and his happiness are blessings. But gosh I wish I had had a little more preparation. I have had my head in the sand for so long!


diamonds_3
by on Oct. 9, 2012 at 3:22 PM

I am a mother of 2 girl and boy they are 10 1/2 mo apart me and my x have been seporated for 3 years i made a big mistace by wanting to have a baby with a drugy and its been really hard trying to get anything out of him he want to be in their live because his dad wasnt in his he didnt even know him but refuses to pay any child support so ive had to ask help from my family alot im so grateful that i have them and am trying to go to school so i can get a decent job and have a good life

brieri
by Platinum Member on Oct. 9, 2012 at 4:31 PM

 

Quoting diamonds_3:

I am a mother of 2 girl and boy they are 10 1/2 mo apart me and my x have been seporated for 3 years i made a big mistace by wanting to have a baby with a drugy and its been really hard trying to get anything out of him he want to be in their live because his dad wasnt in his he didnt even know him but refuses to pay any child support so ive had to ask help from my family alot im so grateful that i have them and am trying to go to school so i can get a decent job and have a good life

Sorry, was running out of breath when reading.  Welcome to the group.

Cafe AmyS
by Head Admin on Oct. 10, 2012 at 4:35 PM

Welcome to the group!

Quoting diamonds_3:

I am a mother of 2 girl and boy they are 10 1/2 mo apart me and my x have been seporated for 3 years i made a big mistace by wanting to have a baby with a drugy and its been really hard trying to get anything out of him he want to be in their live because his dad wasnt in his he didnt even know him but refuses to pay any child support so ive had to ask help from my family alot im so grateful that i have them and am trying to go to school so i can get a decent job and have a good life


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