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Separation & Divorce 101

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This post is a place for us to share advice, questions and personal stories about separation and divorce.  

 

Here are some topics that have been discussed in this group:

  • Deciding to relocate after divorce
  • Remaining friends after the break-up
  • Meeting the ex's new partner
  • Assuring the children that they are not the cause of the break-up
  • Mediation

fingers crossed

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Please share your best advice for those going through a divorce or separation in the replies below.

by on Dec. 22, 2011 at 2:54 PM
Replies (81-90):
hotdonnax
by on Oct. 10, 2012 at 8:30 PM
Well I am recently divorced, I believe that I could write a story about my life. I have a three year old son, we lost the house during foreclosure, and he totaled my car. He instantly attempted to try and talk to some of my closest friends for other things. Of course they are amazing women and rejected him. It is hard, I did find out though that you can re-kindle that flame that is there. I don't understand why most people get divorces. But you may try and work it out, and most of the time it takes two people to want to work on it. Of course I was the one that was done with him. My ex husband and I went through some extensive counseling and spme life altering experiences during our 2 year long divorce. Honestly I believe that it was the grace of God that it took that long. Even though it didnt work between him and I we are best friends, and no benefits. I have another man in my life now and him and my ex get along just swimmingly. Wish you the best of luck.
MommyAJ2921
by on Oct. 10, 2012 at 11:27 PM

I separated from the ex dh back in May, filed for and got my legal separation in July, divorce will be finalized next month. I take it one day, one step at a time. Since our split he's only seen the boys 3 times and had one overnight visit (which suits me just fine)...I'm at the point where I realize the ONLY good thing to come of this relationship was the children. I read through the replies and ladies, its all crazy scary but I'm literally just coming out of where most of you are right now....you realize the relationship is at an end and for the most part since children were introduced you've stayed at home to TAKE CARE of home.

Take a deep breath and know you CAN do this. My heartfelt apologies for what I'm sure is a heartbreaking time for each of you..just know we're in this motherhood thing together. I wasn't married as long as most of you...we didn't even make 5 years...only 3.5...but I'm happier now than I've been in a LONG time.  

janaela08
by on Oct. 11, 2012 at 12:52 AM

I have been with my boyfriend for almost 8 years, we have two girls together.  After my first was born we both decided that I should be a stay at home mom and persue my dream of becoming a nurse.  Well I am about to start nursing school this coming spring, but to my best luck I have discovered that the man of my life has been cheating on me trough out of our relationship, i am not sure if he acctually did it physically since it was mostly emails with different girls.  When i comfronted him about it, he got pissed at me for going trough his email and told me that we are done.  After that he took the car keys, credit cards and my phone.  I am completely screwed since i have been out of work for 4 years and I got nothing besides my beautiful kids. I dont even know where to start?

Sunshyn1838
by on Oct. 12, 2012 at 1:56 PM
Is anyone going through a divorce now. I filed last month and waiting for him to respond. I'm not sure what's going to happen...
Cafe AmyS
by Head Admin on Oct. 15, 2012 at 7:51 PM

Welcome to the group!  I'm glad your friends stuck by you and didn't give him what he wanted from them.  :)

Quoting hotdonnax:

Well I am recently divorced, I believe that I could write a story about my life. I have a three year old son, we lost the house during foreclosure, and he totaled my car. He instantly attempted to try and talk to some of my closest friends for other things. Of course they are amazing women and rejected him. It is hard, I did find out though that you can re-kindle that flame that is there. I don't understand why most people get divorces. But you may try and work it out, and most of the time it takes two people to want to work on it. Of course I was the one that was done with him. My ex husband and I went through some extensive counseling and spme life altering experiences during our 2 year long divorce. Honestly I believe that it was the grace of God that it took that long. Even though it didnt work between him and I we are best friends, and no benefits. I have another man in my life now and him and my ex get along just swimmingly. Wish you the best of luck.


Cafe AmyS
by Head Admin on Oct. 15, 2012 at 7:52 PM

Welcome to the group.  I'm sure you can't wait for things to be final next month.

Quoting MommyAJ2921:

I separated from the ex dh back in May, filed for and got my legal separation in July, divorce will be finalized next month. I take it one day, one step at a time. Since our split he's only seen the boys 3 times and had one overnight visit (which suits me just fine)...I'm at the point where I realize the ONLY good thing to come of this relationship was the children. I read through the replies and ladies, its all crazy scary but I'm literally just coming out of where most of you are right now....you realize the relationship is at an end and for the most part since children were introduced you've stayed at home to TAKE CARE of home.

Take a deep breath and know you CAN do this. My heartfelt apologies for what I'm sure is a heartbreaking time for each of you..just know we're in this motherhood thing together. I wasn't married as long as most of you...we didn't even make 5 years...only 3.5...but I'm happier now than I've been in a LONG time.  


Cafe AmyS
by Head Admin on Oct. 15, 2012 at 7:52 PM

Welcome to the group!

Quoting janaela08:

I have been with my boyfriend for almost 8 years, we have two girls together.  After my first was born we both decided that I should be a stay at home mom and persue my dream of becoming a nurse.  Well I am about to start nursing school this coming spring, but to my best luck I have discovered that the man of my life has been cheating on me trough out of our relationship, i am not sure if he acctually did it physically since it was mostly emails with different girls.  When i comfronted him about it, he got pissed at me for going trough his email and told me that we are done.  After that he took the car keys, credit cards and my phone.  I am completely screwed since i have been out of work for 4 years and I got nothing besides my beautiful kids. I dont even know where to start?


Cafe AmyS
by Head Admin on Oct. 15, 2012 at 7:53 PM

Welcome!  There are a few ladies here who are currently going through the divorce process (mine was final 2 years ago next month).  

Good luck!

Quoting Sunshyn1838:

Is anyone going through a divorce now. I filed last month and waiting for him to respond. I'm not sure what's going to happen...


MommyAJ2921
by on Oct. 15, 2012 at 8:22 PM
1 mom liked this

Thanks and you're right. I'm ready to close this chapter of my life and move on. I think he's finally figured that out.

Quoting Cafe AmyS:

Welcome to the group.  I'm sure you can't wait for things to be final next month.

Quoting MommyAJ2921:

I separated from the ex dh back in May, filed for and got my legal separation in July, divorce will be finalized next month. I take it one day, one step at a time. Since our split he's only seen the boys 3 times and had one overnight visit (which suits me just fine)...I'm at the point where I realize the ONLY good thing to come of this relationship was the children. I read through the replies and ladies, its all crazy scary but I'm literally just coming out of where most of you are right now....you realize the relationship is at an end and for the most part since children were introduced you've stayed at home to TAKE CARE of home.

Take a deep breath and know you CAN do this. My heartfelt apologies for what I'm sure is a heartbreaking time for each of you..just know we're in this motherhood thing together. I wasn't married as long as most of you...we didn't even make 5 years...only 3.5...but I'm happier now than I've been in a LONG time.  



AmelieS
by on Oct. 19, 2012 at 10:17 PM

We always seem to find a way :-)

Hang in there and know the strength you have! I'm sure you went through worse 2 years ago, remember all those little steps and celebration and you will pull through.

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