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Single Moms Single Moms

Single & Pregnant 101

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This post is a place for us to share advice, questions and personal stories about being a pregnant single mom.  

 

Here are some pregnancy related topics discussed in this group:

  • Dealing with a break-up while pregnant
  • Pregnancy & dating
  • Single and chosing to become a partnerless parent
  • Thoughts on abortion
  • Telling the father

pregnant belly

 

For more help:

Click here to see what Single Moms are discussing on the group today:
Let's Talk! Click here to see more posts...

Please share your best advice for single and pregnant moms in the replies below!

 

by on Dec. 22, 2011 at 3:01 PM
Replies (231-240):
char1212
by on Nov. 30, 2012 at 7:58 PM

Hello ladies, im currently a new member of Cafemom, I would like to put my situation out there because at times i feel like im the only one going thru this. I am currently 5 & 1/2 months pregnant,having a boy! and also have a 7yr old boy. Im devorce from my first childs father and pregnant from my ex boyfriend that has 2 other children with two other woman.difficult situation already i know.right.? first childs father mistreated me,cheated,and took advantage of,got fed up and devorced him.broke my heart at first but learn to get over it. made my life hell then and now,after 4 yrs of being devorced he still cannot get over me moving on. until this day he would try to take my 7 yr old boy away(trying to get soul custody). Now for my 2nd childs father i had red flags in my face all over. I chosed to ignore them and continued to believe and trust him. To not judge him for his passed. His first childs mother had moved on an started a family of her own(high school sweet heart), 2nd childs mother was just a little immiture girl age 20, him age(31) had finished the relationship with her. and came back a month later after "the split up" letting him know she was pregnant. I found out that he was having a baby after 6 months.lies and mistreats thru out the whole relationship.still believed that he was trying to change stupid me. He would still be inbetween both of us. i would always find out and believe his lies,because i knew she still loved him.  Ive noticed that he would ignore her while and after she had her baby. And now that im pregnant he would do the same with me but worse. My pregnancy at the first tri was bad. first of all i had thyroid probles,placenta previa complete,bleeding, zist on my left ovary,depression,and weight lost. I also lost one of my twins. and in all this stress and problems he would mistreat,verbal abuse me and physically abuse me. it was horrible. But stupid me I loved and cared about him. At times there would be times where everything was fine and i was his everything. But now i learned to move on and i know its best for my childrens health and mine, but both fathers now still try to be around and be in my life knowing that i want to start new,fresh and have a happy ending. But its so hard. and i worry alot more now because of my children. homeless no job and depending on my unemployment, omg am i the only one out there with this problem? any advice? its so overwhelming. 

writerchick882
by on Nov. 30, 2012 at 8:15 PM

JUST found out im pregnant and due in august. The father failed to tell me he has a fiance so now THEY want to adopt MY baby. Um.. no. Need advice on how to do this whole parenting thing, pregnancy thing, money, etc. in this situation. message me

char1212
by on Nov. 30, 2012 at 10:26 PM

omg im in a similar situation. why are these men like this? what have we none wrong,and at times i wanna go back to my second childs father,because i dont want to be a single parent again, and bcause i love and care about him. He goes back and forth between both of us,and tells me the same thing. He only is around her for the baby, which at some point moved her and the child in his apartment because she had "no help" and wouldnt see me for days and ignore my calls when he would be with her. 

CHRISTINA2PARIS
by on Dec. 4, 2012 at 12:29 PM

How do you go by searching and finding an affordable lawyer to protect your rights as a single mother and protect the special bond and relationship you should have with your child?

Cafe AmyS
by Head Admin on Dec. 5, 2012 at 3:52 PM

welcome to cafemom    It sounds like you're in a pretty deep situation, but there is hope/help out there.  You can apply for housing assistance, job training, food stamps, etc to help you get back on your feet and you can let your sons' see their dads but I'd be firm and make sure they understand they are there for the boys and not you.

Quoting char1212:

Hello ladies, im currently a new member of Cafemom, I would like to put my situation out there because at times i feel like im the only one going thru this. I am currently 5 & 1/2 months pregnant,having a boy! and also have a 7yr old boy. Im devorce from my first childs father and pregnant from my ex boyfriend that has 2 other children with two other woman.difficult situation already i know.right.? first childs father mistreated me,cheated,and took advantage of,got fed up and devorced him.broke my heart at first but learn to get over it. made my life hell then and now,after 4 yrs of being devorced he still cannot get over me moving on. until this day he would try to take my 7 yr old boy away(trying to get soul custody). Now for my 2nd childs father i had red flags in my face all over. I chosed to ignore them and continued to believe and trust him. To not judge him for his passed. His first childs mother had moved on an started a family of her own(high school sweet heart), 2nd childs mother was just a little immiture girl age 20, him age(31) had finished the relationship with her. and came back a month later after "the split up" letting him know she was pregnant. I found out that he was having a baby after 6 months.lies and mistreats thru out the whole relationship.still believed that he was trying to change stupid me. He would still be inbetween both of us. i would always find out and believe his lies,because i knew she still loved him.  Ive noticed that he would ignore her while and after she had her baby. And now that im pregnant he would do the same with me but worse. My pregnancy at the first tri was bad. first of all i had thyroid probles,placenta previa complete,bleeding, zist on my left ovary,depression,and weight lost. I also lost one of my twins. and in all this stress and problems he would mistreat,verbal abuse me and physically abuse me. it was horrible. But stupid me I loved and cared about him. At times there would be times where everything was fine and i was his everything. But now i learned to move on and i know its best for my childrens health and mine, but both fathers now still try to be around and be in my life knowing that i want to start new,fresh and have a happy ending. But its so hard. and i worry alot more now because of my children. homeless no job and depending on my unemployment, omg am i the only one out there with this problem? any advice? its so overwhelming. 


Cafe AmyS
by Head Admin on Dec. 5, 2012 at 3:54 PM

Congratulations!

Wow, they want to adopt your baby?  Obviously that's not something you want to do.  

I think you'll be a good mom.  Just watch other moms around you, learn from them and remember that there is no such thing as perfection.  You'll learn as you go.

Quoting writerchick882:

JUST found out im pregnant and due in august. The father failed to tell me he has a fiance so now THEY want to adopt MY baby. Um.. no. Need advice on how to do this whole parenting thing, pregnancy thing, money, etc. in this situation. message me


Cafe AmyS
by Head Admin on Dec. 5, 2012 at 3:54 PM

Welcome to the group!

Quoting char1212:

omg im in a similar situation. why are these men like this? what have we none wrong,and at times i wanna go back to my second childs father,because i dont want to be a single parent again, and bcause i love and care about him. He goes back and forth between both of us,and tells me the same thing. He only is around her for the baby, which at some point moved her and the child in his apartment because she had "no help" and wouldnt see me for days and ignore my calls when he would be with her. 


Cafe AmyS
by Head Admin on Dec. 5, 2012 at 3:54 PM

You might want to check with legal aid or interview a few lawyers before you make a choice.

Quoting CHRISTINA2PARIS:

How do you go by searching and finding an affordable lawyer to protect your rights as a single mother and protect the special bond and relationship you should have with your child?


hope0113
by on Dec. 11, 2012 at 11:17 AM

Good Morning,

I am a desperate single mother due in 4 weeks with my first baby boy. I was living with my ex fiance(whom I thought was the love of my life) we were going to get married next year, have our first baby together and everything was going good or at least I thought so. On November 29th, he decided that he needed his time and that I was pressuring him and he did not want to work things out with me. We were supposed to move into his father's house to save some money, our baby was going to have his own room and we were going to have our room. Two days before moving out from our apartment I asked since I saw it coming if he wanted to work things out for our new baby and he said he did not. I told him that I did not want to suffer anymore and most important our baby was suffering too. On that same week he got home Monday night at 5am and Tuesday at 3am. I was noticing he was acting weird specially in front of this girl we both know and even asked him if he had feelings for her, of course, he replied that I was going crazy. Long story short, I moved by myself in a 1bed, I am due in 4 weeks and he left me for that same girl that I suspected he was seeing. I am devastated, my heart is cut in half, I love my ex but he betrayed us and I can't handle this feeling anymore. I am desperate and would like this feeling to go away as soon as possible.I am looking for advice form women like me. I did not plan this pregnancy on my own and I feel like I can't handle this aymore

Cafe AmyS
by Head Admin on Dec. 12, 2012 at 3:50 PM

Hi there.  Welcome to the group.  I'm so sorry that your baby's father has decided that this isn't what he wants. 

hugs

Quoting hope0113:

Good Morning,

I am a desperate single mother due in 4 weeks with my first baby boy. I was living with my ex fiance(whom I thought was the love of my life) we were going to get married next year, have our first baby together and everything was going good or at least I thought so. On November 29th, he decided that he needed his time and that I was pressuring him and he did not want to work things out with me. We were supposed to move into his father's house to save some money, our baby was going to have his own room and we were going to have our room. Two days before moving out from our apartment I asked since I saw it coming if he wanted to work things out for our new baby and he said he did not. I told him that I did not want to suffer anymore and most important our baby was suffering too. On that same week he got home Monday night at 5am and Tuesday at 3am. I was noticing he was acting weird specially in front of this girl we both know and even asked him if he had feelings for her, of course, he replied that I was going crazy. Long story short, I moved by myself in a 1bed, I am due in 4 weeks and he left me for that same girl that I suspected he was seeing. I am devastated, my heart is cut in half, I love my ex but he betrayed us and I can't handle this feeling anymore. I am desperate and would like this feeling to go away as soon as possible.I am looking for advice form women like me. I did not plan this pregnancy on my own and I feel like I can't handle this aymore


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