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Pregnant on purpose, knowing you have MS.

Posted by on Jan. 2, 2012 at 10:05 PM
  • 12 Replies
I have a friend who has MS. She has known she has had it since she is 20 years old. She is now 28. She goes in fazes of it being bad and her being fully functioning. She dated a guy for a month and got pregnant. The guy told her to have an abortion and she didn't. He isn't in either of their lives(only pays child support). Her daughter is now 3.5 and she is dying to have another baby. She is trying to date these random guys just to have sex in the hopes of getting pregnant. I think she is crazy for doing this. I have seen what MS can do to people. I am sorry, but knowing how bad it can get where one day she could wake up paralyzed or blind. Plus she can pass it down to her children. Personally if I had MS I wouldn't ever have biological children knowing what can happen. I would use every preventive measure possible to make sure I never got pregnant. Am I wrong for thinking she is crazy for trying to get pregnant again? I know people will bash me and say it is none of my business, but it is my business when I have to help take care of the daughter she already has when she has "bad days".
by on Jan. 2, 2012 at 10:05 PM
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Replies (1-10):
crimsonangel180
by on Jan. 2, 2012 at 10:13 PM
I know a girl who did that ( minus the ms) . The thought has crossed my mind to do something similar (but I think it's more a lack of sex in general) the only thing you could do would be to not offer to help her on the bad days (although I interesting not wanting to put her dd through that) I dont know what ms does to the body. But then again I broke down when I found out my kids ar high risk for adhd
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Mia1983
by Mia on Jan. 2, 2012 at 10:21 PM
I don't believe you know what you would do until you're in that extreme situation. Kind of like perfectly fertile women claiming if they couldn't conceive naturally they'd just never have kids. It really sounds like she is irresponsible in other ways though. But all you can do is offer her advice. If she doesn't take it, you can't do much. She's got to live with her decisions.
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SexyDiva19
by Alexis on Jan. 2, 2012 at 10:25 PM
I think she's wrong for sleeping with random guys because of STD's/HIV but I dont think shes wrong for wanting another child whether she has MS or not.

She needs to get into a serious relationship and talk to the guy and tell him what she wants and see if he'd agree.
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LovinLiv
by on Jan. 2, 2012 at 10:30 PM

MS is not genetic unless she is one of the like 10% of cases that has a genetic link. Enviornmental factors normally are more at cause. I have a friend who has MS and was diagnosed at 14 and told that as long as she was doing well there would be absolutely no problem having children in the future. In my opinion it is wrong to try to get pregnant without the father's consent and if she's making other people raise her children that is wrong as well. But MS has nothing to do with it. She needs the support maybe more than the average mom but we all need a support system.

MNitz
by on Jan. 2, 2012 at 10:31 PM
That stinks that you have to help her out on "bad days", but who are we to deny her the joy of motherhood? I have a friend whose daughter has cancer and she just had a baby knowing that she won't be alive long enough to see the baby grow up. But she really wanted to experience being a mom. Her family is prepared to raise the child when she passes. Your friend definitely needs to get her ducks in a row before having another though.
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tyfry7496
by on Jan. 2, 2012 at 10:39 PM
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According to my dads neurologist , who is world know for his work with MS, there is less than 1% chance of a parent passing MS to their child. If my dad decided not to have kids because of his MS, neither my brother or I would be here. My dad was diagnosed at 21 years old, he is now 60 and has had problems in the last 15 years. So, your friend having children is ok. Her purposely getting pregnant with a random guy is not and that's for ANYONE.
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SevysMomma
by on Jan. 2, 2012 at 10:43 PM

I agree with what a PP said. Some women long to have children, NEED children. Which is fine. 

I think it's sad she is suffering from a disease that might eventually render her useless as a person and mother. Perhaps she would like to live out whatever she has left as a happy mother.

I wouldn't know much about it but from things I have picked up, adoption is NOT an easy feat. And I assume because of her disease she might not be allowed to adopt. So what is wrong with her wanting babies?

What I don't really agree with is trying to entrap a man for this to happen, that is wrong on many levels. I think she needs to sort through her life and figure it out, and as a friend, you may want to help. Have you talked to her about this, unbiased?

KailesMommy
by on Jan. 2, 2012 at 10:47 PM
Im kinda torn bc i dont feel the kids should suffer and i dont feel she should either.
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megatari
by on Jan. 17, 2012 at 1:37 PM

I have MS and planned a pregnancy. I don't think anyone can make that decision for you. It's good she has good friends like you that care about her, but support her decision. I'm not saying I necessarily agree with the way she is going about it, but maybe being a mom gives her the fulfillment that MS has taken away from her. Personally being a mom is the first job where I don't feel judged for the things I am not able to do, due to my physical disabilities. Unless there is a severe reason for you to believe these children are in harms way, which I am guessing not since it sounds like her 3 1/2 year old is fine, then just be her friend! I can't even tell you the stories going around about me when I was pregnant and how selfish I was to have a baby. 

MS is not a genetic disease, it is VERY unlikely her children will have MS. There are doctors who believe they may have a genetic susceptibility for it, but that has not even been proven.

kary1124
by on Jan. 17, 2012 at 1:42 PM
that's exactly what I was gonna say

Quoting LovinLiv:

MS is not genetic unless she is one of the like 10% of cases that has a genetic link. Enviornmental factors normally are more at cause. I have a friend who has MS and was diagnosed at 14 and told that as long as she was doing well there would be absolutely no problem having children in the future. In my opinion it is wrong to try to get pregnant without the father's consent and if she's making other people raise her children that is wrong as well. But MS has nothing to do with it. She needs the support maybe more than the average mom but we all need a support system.

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