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"....but we have 50/50!" rant/vent

Posted by on Jan. 15, 2012 at 10:11 AM
  • 6 Replies

Just needed to rant. Here goes.

So during our divorce, me and ex hub were ordered 50/50 custody of at the time 3 yr old DS. Since Jan 2011, ex had a grand total of  10 weeks custody. He is military and has been deployed since Sept. Afte rdivorce, I had to go through CSSD to get court ordered cs from him. They can only enforce shared cust cs ($474) since thats our order. But the order does state that if there is any difference in actual custody that cs will be due to reflect actual custody.  When he left I mentioned to him politely that while he is gone he owes me primary cs ($899) while he is gone since I would have DS 100%. He threw a fit saying that we have 50/50 so he wont owe me any thing over shared and that I'm just after his money.

He is due to come home in April. DS is starting kinder in Aug and I told ex that we are gonna have to settle primary before school starts. His response was "Well I will file for primary when I get back, then." WTF!!!!! You haven't seen him in months and wont see him for several more months and you think you are gonna get primary just because you make more than me?! Also, me and DS moved home to Louisiana in October. Ex is stationed in Alaska.

The few times he calls he is more worried about trying to get info out of me instead of talking to DS. (what size is apt. who do we associate with. how apt is set up. etc.) His gf kept trying to get me to add her on fb until I blocked both of them and his family. Then he complains that he cant see all the pix I post of DS. (I do occasionally send him pix of DS that I take specifically for him.)

I'm just beyond tired of this shit! I am so ready for primary to be set and done!

OK, rant done. 

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by on Jan. 15, 2012 at 10:11 AM
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by on Jan. 15, 2012 at 10:31 AM

Welcome to the group.  You probably did the right thing by blocking them, but you should send him pics regularly imo.  He does owe you cs for the time he was gone and he's probably just threatening to file to scare you into letting it go.  Don't give him any personal info other than your address... beyond that it's none of his business as long as ds is taken care of.  Keep your convos to a minimal and don't talk to him about anything other than ds.

by Gold Member on Jan. 15, 2012 at 11:24 AM

I would highly suggest going to court and requesting a custody modification to reflect the current situation and the fact that the child will be starting school.  Unless dad is going to be transferring to shore duty/non deployable status, it should be a slam dunk.

by on Jan. 15, 2012 at 12:35 PM
Welcome and good luck!
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by Ruby Member on Jan. 15, 2012 at 1:18 PM
File for primary now. He's gone and hasn't. Een able to exerc ise 50/50 so its dumb for him to get credit for it.
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by on Jan. 15, 2012 at 11:37 PM

I've always wondered at the logic causing the "I'll get custody so I don't have to pay child support"... do men not realize just how expensive a child is? And it's not just money, it's time. And patience. And love, caring, worry, devotion, anger, frustration, tears... Jesus H. Christ men can be stupid.

by on Jan. 16, 2012 at 7:35 PM

He is supposed to PCS (permanent change of station) in March 2013. No gaurantees it will be anywhere close to here. And I have to wait til at least April to file cuz I have to be a resident in Louisiana for at least six months before I can file for primary nere.

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