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Single Moms Single Moms

Should I Make Him Pay???

Hi everyone. My name is Taylor.I am 19 years old.  I have a beautiful 6 month old daughter named Gracelyn Joy. Her father and I broke up when I was 2 or 3 months pregnant. He wasn't there at all throughout the pregnancy or when she was born. I found out today that he is still denying that she is his. We talk here and there but he has only seen her 1 time and that was when she was about 3 months old. I have really been struggling lately financially because my hours where cut at work because we are slow and I have my 3rd and final interview tomorrow morning at best buy :) Well anyways, I also am in college full time to become a respiratory therapist. Her father does nothing and doesn't have a job but, he says he is joining the navy in December. I am just wondering if I should apply for child support or just leave it alone. I also asked him the other day if he could buy her some diapers because she is in size 2 but I think its time to move up a size and he told me that he couldn't....My only concern with child support is the whole rights stuff. He isn't on the birth certificate and honestly I don't trust him around her because well, he just hasn't been around her and I don't know how he would do with her. He hasn't ever been around kids. I don't know what to do. I would greatly appreciate some other mom's advice or experience with child support. Thank you!

by on Jan. 31, 2012 at 10:59 PM
Replies (11-17):
faerie75
by Ruby Member on Feb. 1, 2012 at 1:59 AM
Yes you should file. And if he wants visits later he should have them. A kid deserves both parents support and both parents love, if avaialble
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chellenout
by on Feb. 1, 2012 at 2:10 AM

Bravo!  If he does go into the navy your assured the government knows where to get the $.  As far as birth certificate save for later.  I say he learn to be a responsible man now if he's going to want Us, the people of the United States of America to put our trust in his hands when you cant even trust him to do the right thing by his own child.  Trust, Honor, Accountability begins on the Home Front!!!  Atta girl for staying in school.   Just dont allow any ole' guy be around your baby either.  She's a precious gem! 

Quoting adulation:

YES, file for child support.  it takes time and you wont get it right away. he can deny she is his and the court will order a paternity test and when the results come in that she is his, he will have to sign an AOP and they will determine how much he has to pay in CS according to both of your incomes.  he will probably have to pay arrears, too.

[at least in my case, he was ordered to pay arrears for the time before the DNA test after her birth]


CS and custody/visitation are seperate issues.  in my state, they said he had the right to have the child have his last name [but when they asked him i gave him a death stare and he declined] and they issued a recommended visitation schedule [which we didn't use because he didn't want to see her].


finally, you have to let go of the notion that he is necessarily a bad father.  only time will tell. he might end up being great.

with me, he did not spend much time with our daughter the first 4 years because he did not feel confident in handling such a young child, but at the same time, i was NOT ready to let him take her on his own anyway... i wanted to be there to know she would be ok.

He finally started taking her for overnights after she turned 4.


even if he decides he never wants to see her,  he still has to pay CS.  and he should. your child deserves it. 




hopealways4019
by Bronze Member on Feb. 1, 2012 at 9:18 PM
He help make her, so when he retain full time job, he gotta make child support payments! My kids father ain't on bc, still required to pay, if able too. Don't let him get away! That's what's wrong with our society, we let these sperm donors walk, with no repercussions, and they off to the next chick,knocking her up! Someone needs to teach them responsibility.
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mommabearr226
by on Feb. 1, 2012 at 10:35 PM
I would file. Im 19 and my daughters father hasent been around her at all. I filed and he is now paying. He went nd tried getting visition. And he got supervised vistion once a week and never went once.
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tyfry7496
by on Feb. 1, 2012 at 10:53 PM
The support is for your daughter, get her what she deserves. He helped make her so he needs to help support her. Get the process started.

Welcome to the group.
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GracelynJoysMom
by on Jun. 20, 2012 at 1:31 AM
****UPDATE****
I FINALLY filed for child support today! I havent heard from bd in months and Im just tired of him doing nothing!
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Robsessed98
by on Jun. 20, 2012 at 7:45 AM

Good for you.  Make him pay what he owes!

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