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Lied to, cheated on and BROKEN

Posted by on Feb. 8, 2012 at 12:12 AM
  • 9 Replies

I thought we were building a family while he was out doing others things, or shall I say people.. Throughout my pregnancy I always had a bad feeling that he was lying to me and possibly cheating (which he was) but I was so dumb to believe him when he said he loved me and wanted to be a family. I told him many times that I could do this without him and he can go out to do whatever he wanted and I'll be a parent. But he kept saying no and he wanted to be by my side through it all. The sad thing was he would say this but he never showed it he never rubbed my belly, he didn't want to go to my ultrasounds and when I was in labor he didn't hold my hand or comfort me. I felt so alone throughout my whole pregnancy, yet I still stayed with him because I thought things would change when she came.. boy was I wrong. I had a C section and I was in so much pain after but he never kissed me or said he loved me or anything comforting. He showed no emotion towards me. He looked scared when he held our baby but I thought well its because he is a new daddy.. When we were able to go home and it was time to be parents he wasnt there. I did everything. We didn't live together and he only came by "ON HIS TIME."

I found out he was cheating and it was over.. I was so depressed I started losing my hair, I couldn't breastfeed anymore, and I was just a wreck. I actually tried to look passed what he had done and work on our relationship so we can be a family but.. he told me this "I stopped loving you when you told me you were going to keep the baby." I was heartbroken! I couldn't believe he just said that and I was just so sad not for me but for Alana. He didn't just cheat on me he cheated her life! She will never have a family with a mom and dad, it will always be mom here, dad there. That is was hurt the most. All I wanted is for her to have a family, because I didn't.

We have an okay relationship now. He is trying to be a better dad and he told me how much he regrets what he did, how he neglected her. He is actually doing a lot better but its still hard to see him and know what he did. All that matters though is that Alana is doing well. I am trying to put my emotions aside for her because I know she need her father in her life. It would be easy to just up and leave to a different city and just get CS but I am not a heartless bitch.. (which I wish I was somtimes). I still love him and I am trying to stop all my feelings but I can't. To this day I still feel BROKEN...

What I want to know from you all is what would you do if you were in my position? I would also like to hear your stories if you have one similar to mine and what you did to look passed it and how did you copeor if you ever did?

by on Feb. 8, 2012 at 12:12 AM
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Replies (1-9):
5BMom
by on Feb. 8, 2012 at 12:33 AM
I haven't been in your exact situation... But I do you have to do what is best for your child(ren).... In my case, that is keeping them from their father at all costs...because he is an abusive drunk who refuses to get help. If he is good for, and to, your child I don't see cutting him from her life.... Unless it upsets you so badly you cannot parent her properly... Then, you have reason to cut ties...
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candymandy
by on Feb. 8, 2012 at 1:59 AM
Bump
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Dawnie-marie
by Dawn on Feb. 8, 2012 at 2:55 AM

I did it a day at a time, it made me stronger, and now i feel nothing for him though he came by to see the boys 3 weeks ago and tried to win me over.

Mommyto2LilMen
by Tina on Feb. 8, 2012 at 5:57 AM
I could never stay with someone if they cheated, hence the reason im no longer married to the boys dad
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amonkeymom
by Platinum Member on Feb. 8, 2012 at 3:15 PM

Welcome & hugs

faerie75
by Ruby Member on Feb. 8, 2012 at 3:19 PM

 i venture to say most of us were in your position.

i just kept it moving and afer a few years i got over it adn let him be a dad and didnt care what he did anymore.

faerie75
by Ruby Member on Feb. 8, 2012 at 3:21 PM

 thats not a reason to keep a kid from the dad, if he is a good father. that is a good reason to get counseling.

Quoting 5BMom:

I haven't been in your exact situation... But I do you have to do what is best for your child(ren).... In my case, that is keeping them from their father at all costs...because he is an abusive drunk who refuses to get help. If he is good for, and to, your child I don't see cutting him from her life.... Unless it upsets you so badly you cannot parent her properly... Then, you have reason to cut ties...

 

 
        
         

camommy08
by on Feb. 8, 2012 at 3:25 PM

i think its good he trying now to be a father. you may always feel broken. I know I do. I know I still love my dd father even though he moved on and even had a baby with his new gf.

MariSabri
by on Feb. 10, 2012 at 5:51 PM

 I still have a good relationship with him and we do see eachother, but it is so hard to just deal. Thank you all for the feedback. I appreciate it. I am going to try my best to just be parents with him. I hope I can put my feelings aside and do this.

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