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Posted by on Feb. 8, 2012 at 6:00 AM
  • 14 Replies
How did you become a single mom? What are the besr parts of single motherhood? Worst? Share your stories and help envourage other moms
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by on Feb. 8, 2012 at 6:00 AM
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Replies (1-10):
PZRM
by on Feb. 8, 2012 at 6:14 AM
Me first then! I became a single mother the day i finally 'womaned up' and kicked my baby daddy out of my life. He views the world similarly to a 3 yr old who has never been told 'no'... I was 7 months pregnant and not about to raise a baby and a 'toddler' at the same time. So out he went.

The worst part is, sometimes i miss having a grown up to cuddle up to. And he had court papers waiting at home for me when i arrived from the hospital. So we pulled up, my mom was waiting to greet me surrounded by all sorts of 'its a girl!' and 'congratulations!' pink frilly stuff and within half an hour i get to sit and stare at papers that say he wanted full 50/50 custody of my breastfed, cloth diapered, co sleeping, newborn... And he didn't spell her name right or get her bday right either. :(

Best part though is i regained my full range of independence. I have always been very strong willed and independant and he was squashing that. I can do whatever i please with my baby when i have her (he now gets mondays and fridays :( ... ) and i don't have to answer to any man if i don't want to! (not that i did anyway, which was a big part of the relationship issues, ha!)

My advice, do whats best for you and baby. If it keeps baby happy and healthy, wonderful! Do it! If it keeps mama sane-ish (let's face it, who as a mom is TRULY completely sane when raising a small child??) and happy and out of depression trouble, even better!!
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Dorky-momma
by on Feb. 8, 2012 at 6:42 AM
I live with my mom right now. Im still with my bd happly. Its Just realy hard when u dont live 2gether. Quite a few people dont understand how my situation is similar 2 a single moms situation but neither 1 of us has a car & we dont even get 2 see each other everyday I do everything by myself. His farther takes him 1 night a week & he pays 4 everything we need.
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cadeesmommy0120
by on Feb. 8, 2012 at 11:45 AM

 Any problems that my ex and I had were both our faults...I'm not going to put ALL the blame on him.  But what ultimately made me break up with him was his anger.  That and I really just didn't LIKE him anymore.  I didn't want to be near him, I would get mad anytime his number showed up on my phone.  I ignored his calls unless he was with DD. 

We still lived together for 9 or so months after we broke up.  It was a relief when he finally moved out. 

strongerwtime
by on Feb. 8, 2012 at 12:09 PM

I became a single mom twice.  I chose to be with men that were not good for me..I left both of them, but I had babies to care for.  The best part is that I feel I parent better because I am not consumed by relationships that were no good for me.  The worst part is the issues surrounding child support/custody/visitation.  Hated going to court for all this.  But I was left with no other options.  Trying to work with the fathers outside of the court did not work out well for me and the kids.  Now that there are "orders" in place, it takes their need to try and "control" me out of their hands.  Its unfortunate but all I have to do now is refer to the legal order when they try to "hustle" me. lol

Mommyto2LilMen
by Tina on Feb. 8, 2012 at 12:24 PM
Bump for others will share mine when I am on my computer later.
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harrington_ou
by on Feb. 8, 2012 at 12:31 PM
I became a single mom the night I stood up to my kids dad about his cheating and he threw me across the living room. He cheated and mentally abused me and did nothing but sit on his a...butt.
best part is seeing my girls smile more now and one doesn't get migraines and one doesn't have chest pain anymore. Also that I've found someone that treats us right.
worst part is still having to deal with him for another 13 1/2 yrs.. and the fact that when I get sick all heck breaks loose...
faerie75
by Ruby Member on Feb. 8, 2012 at 12:34 PM
I became a single mom when I left my husband, pregnant and w a 2 year old. Its hard and if I had to do over to avoid it, I def would. But my life hasn't been all bad.
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Delila12
by Bronze Member on Feb. 8, 2012 at 12:45 PM
I became a single mom when I moved from college back home after I got pregnant. The situation with bd is hard to explain. He doesn't pay child support, hasn't bought anything, still lives in Where I went to college and has a daughter by someone else. Despite all of this, we are from, what I understand, still together. But like I said, it's hard to explain. When I first moved back home, I wasn't planning on staying here, I was just coming to explain the situation to my parents, get a job, and save up enough to go back. I was going to live with my grandmother until I could save up enough to move out with bd. Once she found out I was pregnant, she didn't think that was a good idea, so I transferred to a school here and now I'm just trying to graduate, after that, we'll figure something else out.

My advice is to come up with a plan, let everyone involved know it, and don't give up trying. It will all work out eventually.
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MarShy740
by on Feb. 8, 2012 at 12:52 PM
I almost always felt like a single mom he didn't really do much we were together for 8 years after I got tired of everything and ended it but he cheated on me every year we were together we got married and 7 months later I broke it off cause he decided when he got back from overseas he would look for a place for him and his friends instead his wife and kids but then said ooh you can move in then the month we were suppose to mind you we were suppose to be out by the next week he said he couldn't get us so I said that's it and he was like no I can he spent money however he wanted and it was always his money not ours and then I found out before we got married he cheated on me with 6 different girls at the same time but I've had my faults too but we are taking about him lol oh I also tired working it out many times but once when I was finally done he wanted to try

I am now very happy my family is helping me out a very great deal in going back to school and I just got a job!!! Don't quit trying to succeed and don't be ashamed to ask for help
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vbway
by on Feb. 8, 2012 at 1:38 PM

I was married for 8 years. I married too young. My ex took me in when I had no where to go. I had a sense of loyalty to him. But as time went on, he became more and more abusive. Always followed with an apology. But it just kept getting worse. The worst came after the birth of our second child. He beat me so bad. I had a concussion and lost 90% of my hearing. I served him with divorce papers and a restraining order at the same time. And that was that. I did not speak to him at all, I didn't have to. Then, next thing I knew the divorce was final. I have never been happier. My kids are happy and well adjusted. They are into music, sports and dance. They are both energetic bundles of happiness and I love it. The worst part is the financial struggle. He does not pay any of his support but I am not bitter. The courts are going after him and one day he will regret it. Now I have a good job and finally friends. It is nice not be so secluded from the world. I finally feel like I can live my life, instead of just being a part of his. Divorce was the hardest, but best decision that I ever made. 

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