Honestly....

[supermommyy21]

my sons father is deceased. (hes only 18 months old ) his dad died while i was pregnant. 

of course i want to eventually get married. witih the white pickcet fence and yadda yadda, but then i switch and think it might be better to just be my son and i. no marriage or anything

because

ive done all the decision making for my son, have never had to compromise on anything and i dont know if i could truley let someone put there opinion on my sons well being and me have to really respect it if i disagreed or something cause that man wouldnt be my sons REAL father. and i dont know if i would be "Stingy" when it came to making decisions for him. 

i dont know. i think i sound pretty crazy and besides dating or marriage is FAR in the future. im only 20. 

opinions?

and constructive crtitism is fine but if your going to be rude and nasty, please dont bother to reply thanks.

[stickyfingers]

i understand that...to be honest with you i have been the only constant in my oldest sons life and when i got together with my bf right now he would do things for muy son that i usually do and i would get jealous. it is nice to get another trusted adults opionions and take on things...my son is 17 and was 1f when i was going through that! haha but i doubt u will be with a untrustworthy jerk u cant count on. u seem to really want the best for your little boy... i wouldnt worry about it...if the right guy comes along then it may be best for your son to have a father figure...i know its so important.

[LA09TKP]

In this group you dont find to many rude or snarky women...so i believe youll be supported well in those thoughts.
I am 22, and my dds father is in prison for a loooong time, so i know how u feel kind of, and completely understand, i dont really feel the point of trying to be with someone...plus guys at our age are dbags. I havent met a good one yet.

[supermommyy21]

thanks for your opinions and yeah im in no hurry but thats something that is always in the back of my head. and yeah thats true, i do want him to have a father figure especially as he gets older. and guys our age might as well be teenagers hahah

[Shy_Dia]

eventually, if you find the right guy, you'll learn to compromise.

i've been with BF for 3 years and he helps with some of the decision making regarding my son. not a whole lot- and nothing MAJOR... but little things; like sports, certain punishments, etc- he's apart of. i respect his opinion though- as much as he respects mine. once things progress in our relationship (marriage, moving in together, etc) he'll take a bigger step towards my son, and he'll have more of a say.

i'm still working on not being stingy when it comes to saying "thats my son- you aint got no right!" lol-- but fact of the matter is, he helps financially with him, he plays with him, disciplines him, straightens him out ("listen to your mother/you know you put your jacket up when you get inside the house" etc), is there for him whenever me and my son needs him. he might not have biologically made him, but he's definitely help shaping my son into a man. i like/LOVE the man that my BF is; i wouldnt change him for the world-- and i'd be honored if my son turns out like him, or my BF's dad, with a bit of me in there. haha.... i think once you find someone who you respect- and respects you back... you'll judge him based on his actions, and decide whether you want your child to follow in his foot steps.

it was hard transitioning over though-- but like finding the right/respectful guy... he'll also respect the space you want until you are ready to slowly hand over some of the responsibilities. it'll start small (oh, i dont know if i should sign him up for soccer or basketball- what do you think?) and it'll turn into something big before you realize whats really happening.

[tyfry7496]

Like you said, you're only 20. Enjoy being a mommy. Get yourself settled and happy then worry about a man. You have plenty if time. When the time is right and you are ready, it will happen. Don't rush it just to settle but because the man loves, respects and cherishes you.

[supermommyy21]

yeah and like also i feel like id be disrespecting his deceased father if someone else filled his shoes idk, i appreciate all your comments though :] makes me feel better about "eventually" having someone. 

[supermommyy21]

:))

Quoting tyfry7496:

Like you said, you're only 20. Enjoy being a mommy. Get yourself settled and happy then worry about a man. You have plenty if time. When the time is right and you are ready, it will happen. Don't rush it just to settle but because the man loves, respects and cherishes you.

[5BMom]

I am sorry for your loss.

You are right, you are young... But that does not mean your dreams are crazy. You will find someone. I am 34... I dated/was engaged to a man for over 7 years. Then he cheated. Too me 5 years to get serious...then married... And had my kids at 30 and 31. Got divorced on my five year anniversary. I STILL hold out hope I will find the guy who can give me the white picket fence... Although these days I am jaded enough to insist said fence surrounds a two million dollar house, lol... I dunno... I believe love is out there.... And I want it... But I also am not trusting... We shall see...

[brieri]

 Your young and you have a lifetime to find someone.  Right now your child needs you over any man.  When he's old enough to part his ways, then you can think of meeting/dating someone.  In the meantime this is a time for you to dream, and put those dreams to reality.  Believe in yourself and you can do it.

BTW;  I am sorry to hear about your son's father, it is hard, it will get easier as time passes.

[hopealways4019]

Take your time, your young.got plenty of time to meet someone and decide if marriage is right for you