My kids grandpa died. Advice?

[5BMom]

My sweet wonderful father in law was found dead today. It looks like his external heart device came loose and he didn't know and he has been dead for two days. I am sick over this. I told my kids, although the don't know the details.

my concern is my son. I am not sure what a normal reaction in an almost five year old should be but his seemed weird to me. NO emotion...then he ignored me. I told him it was ok to be sad and he said "i can't be sad". Later, as I was crying he put his hands on my face and told me not to be sad....then he went back to playing.

Is this normal? He loved his grandpa so much....

[muwchck]

I'm really not sure at that age.  I had to explain a very similar situation to my almost 6 year old when he was almost 3.  Bad thing was, it was 10 days before Christmas, and it put a damper on the whole season for everyone.  He understood that his paw-paw went to heaven, but I don't know that he understood why, or that it was ok to be sad about the situation.  It's not an easy thing to explain to kids.  I think you should tell them about the death, explain that it's ok to be sad, and let them know that you are there to talk to them if the want to talk or have any questions.  It sounds like you've done this, and there may not be anything else you can do for him right now.

[LifeCafe42]

Explain its OK to be sad. Maybe you guys can make a goodbye picture or card together.

[KailesMommy]

Well maybe it hasnt hit him yet or he doesnt understand. When the funral comes he should show some emotion. Dont push it. I was 14 when i lost my gpa and at first i didnt show anything.

[MommyOfOne2710]

Bump!

[MeeshMom]

I don't know about that one. But we all grieve in different ways. Does he have a non emotional dad? I might wait a few days or after the funeral and then ask him what he thinks about the experience of losing grandpa. I wouldn't push him, but you also never know he might start showing some sad emotions.

[KeriAZ]

My kids were 5 and 7 when their papa died my FIL. I had to get them from church and explain to them that gpas heart got sick and the drs couldnt fix it so they asked jesus to take him to heaven. My daughter was 5 and didnt cry. My son was 7 and kept to himself. Not sure what they fully understand about death. Maybe get a special album and fill it with pics of him and grandpa. We did that and still have it. Also maybe ask for a shirt of grandpas for your child to have. I did that and my daughter still has it and she sleeps with it. She is 16 and a half.

[acastle2]

My son has been around death quite a lot from new borns to old age. I have explained to him about death he asks questions but seems to be ok with it. He did bout what your son did tho told me not to be sad and went on his way. So to me its normal

[U.S.ArmyWife]

to me it sounds like he is advanced in the grieving dept. like he already knew. idk how true it is, but it is said that little kids can see spirits.so i am thinking that maybe his grandpa came to him in some form, and told him everything was ok.

[5BMom]

That could be... Out of all the grandkids and greatgrandkids, DS was the closest to him and vice versa. They were kindred spirits even though they were not blood related.

Quoting U.S.ArmyWife:

to me it sounds like he is advanced in the grieving dept. like he already knew. idk how true it is, but it is said that little kids can see spirits.so i am thinking that maybe his grandpa came to him in some form, and told him everything was ok.