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Make Sure Your Six to Eight Year Old Understands That.....

Posted by on Feb. 12, 2012 at 6:03 PM
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  •  He/she is not a fault for the divorce.  "This is our decision, and no one but the two of us is at fault."
  • Nothing he/she did, thought felt, or said led to the divorce.  "Nothing you did or thought caused this to happen.  We tried, but we can't stay together because we hurt each other too much."
  • He/she is and will always be safe.  "We will continue to make sure you are taken care of, as we always have."
  • He/she will be able to maintain contact with his/her other parent (if this is true). "You will have plenty of time to see and talk to each of us" or "We are going to try to make sure you visit and talk with Mom/Dad as much as possible."  (Outline the details).
  • It's not bad or wrong to feel sad, angry, or upset. "You probably have many feelings about the divorce.  None of them is wrong.  It's okay to feel many different things, whether it's sad, mad, relieved, or confused.
  • You will always be there for him/her.  "We are here to help you.  Talk to us whenever you want to."
  • Many children's parents divorce. "This happens to a lot of families.  We'll have to look for ways to help each other."
  • Many kids wish that their parents were together.  "It's okay and normal to wish that your mother/father and I would get back together.  But I want you to understand that this won't happen with us because we already tried really hard."
  • He/she will always have both parents and remain in touch with his/her extended family--grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, etc... (if this is true).  You will always be able to talk to and visit your grandparents and everyone else in our family.  Divorce doesn't take away your family.'
  • You understand and appreciate the changes he/she's going through.  "It can be tough getting used to new things.  Your mother/father and I will do all we can to help you."

 

by on Feb. 12, 2012 at 6:03 PM
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