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How to Explain the Divorce to Your Six-to-Eight Year-Old

Posted by on Feb. 12, 2012 at 6:15 PM
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Wht is divorce?

  • "Divorce is a grown-up thing that mommies and daddies do when they are very sad and cannot make things happier together anymore.  It means that we will no longer be married to each other, but we will always be your parents.

Why did it happen?

  • Some possiblities include:
  1.   "We didn't listen to each other enough.  You know how sometimes you want to say something so much you don't even hear what the other person is saying?  That's how your mother/father and I got to be.  We cared more about what we wanted to say and not enough about what the other person was saying,"
  2.   "We didn't take the time to think "How will he/she feel about this? before we said or did something that hurt him/her or made him/her angry.  That was very unfair."
  3.   "We fought too much and didn't learn how to talk to each other about our feelings without being angry and hurting each other."
  4.   "We didn't know how to stop arguing and walk away from a fight."

Will we still be a family?

  • "Yes.  Even though Mommy and Daddy are getting a divorce, you will always be a part of us.  We both still love you and always will.  You and Mommy/Daddy, and you and I will always be families.  But Mommy and Daddy will not be a family together, even though we will both belong to you."

What will happen to me?

  • "You will be able to see both me and your mother/father a lot."  (Then spell out custody and visitation arrangements as clearly and in as much detail as you can.).

 

by on Feb. 12, 2012 at 6:15 PM
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