V-day...current BF, Ex...and gifts for my 5 yr old.

[wigglesmomma22]

 So, my BF is coming over tomorrow.  I am cooking him dinner with my DD and exchanging presents.  My ex called and wants to drop off a V-day present for our DD.  I told him he could drop it off in the morning or before 5pm.  My bf should be here around 6pm so I thought it would work out well.  My ex told me that he couldn't be here but he would put it on the porch.  I told him, we may be home eventually, but when we are my bf will be here and he probably won't want to come in.  Well, I want to retract that.  If he can't be there before 5 or drop it off in the morning I don't want him leaving something.  I just don't want to chance him freaking out or something...plus its vday.  I get he wants to give our DD something on vday, but why not drop it off tonight?? Especially if your going to work out in the morning instead of dropping it off anyways?  He won't see her anyway, so I don't get why he can't do it tonight or another day.  How can I tactfully request that he not come by tomorrow evening...

[janedoe2233]

Does he live close?  Maybe offer to pick it up yourself, BUT next time dont tell him he can come over at a time you dont want him dropping stuff off.  Since you already gave him the okay to drop it off whenever, I think it would be rude to retract that now.  But just dont be as open with the times in the future.  That's what I would do.

[wigglesmomma22]

 he lives about 20 minutes away.  I told him I didn't feel comfortable with it, but he got kind of an attitude and said "I don't care if he's there", it will probably be in the morning.  If he doesn't drop it off in the morning, I'm probably going to have to tell bf he may drop by.  I really don't want him too.  I don't mind taking her to him, but its just super uncomfortable.  I don't trust him to be a decent person.  Ex even asked me if I thought he was going to cause a scene.  He said he doesn't care, whatever.  I still don't trust him though.  He already threatened to punch my bf in the face (after he first found out) and he screamed and cursed at his ex wifes first bf.  IDK...your right...next time don't be so nice about it...

Quoting janedoe2233:

Does he live close?  Maybe offer to pick it up yourself, BUT next time dont tell him he can come over at a time you dont want him dropping stuff off.  Since you already gave him the okay to drop it off whenever, I think it would be rude to retract that now.  But just dont be as open with the times in the future.  That's what I would do.

 

[Sweet_Carol_126]

Just tell him y ou have other plans tomorrow but he can bring it tonight or in he morning or he can mail it. You will tell your daughter that he sent it on valentine's day. Perhaps you can close the curtains in he house and make sure doors and windows are locked. Has he been angry about the boyfriend? Good luck to you.

Don't answer the door.

[gracieb3]

Can you just call him and ask him what times would work that he could actually give it to DD himself in person?  Just tell him you thought it over and really want her to get a moment with him to enjoy a gift from him.  I'm sure he could find a way to run over before workout?  Just my thoughts.  Then he gets a greater reward and you keep peace of mind for your evening. 

[Shy_Dia]

i'd call and tell him that he should wait til he sees her, that way the present is more special- given from dad to daughter, not from dad to mom to daughter, ya know

[wigglesmomma22]

 When he first found out he told me if he seen him he would punch him in the face.  About a week or two later he said I could introduce him to our DD.  It wasn't really sarcastic, but he wasn't thrilled either.  I just don't trust that he wouldn't do anything.  Would he hit him..probably not, would he cause a scene, its possible.  Ijust don't want the meeting to happen on vday in front of my DD.  If he is that hell bent on meeting him, which I doubt he is, it can be on mutual territory.  I know how he was with his ex when she moved on...she pressed charges against him.  It's just awkward, and I don't want to deal with it.  I also feel like he's pushing something on me that I don't want...if I tell you a time you can bring something on my day with my DD you can respect it or not see her.  I might be picky about it, but I know thats how he would feel if it were reversed..,

Quoting Sweet_Carol_126:

Just tell him y ou have other plans tomorrow but he can bring it tonight or in he morning or he can mail it. You will tell your daughter that he sent it on valentine's day. Perhaps you can close the curtains in he house and make sure doors and windows are locked. Has he been angry about the boyfriend? Good luck to you.

Don't answer the door.