Not sure what to do PIOG

[DAHLONEGAMOMMY]

I posted this in another group but since there are so many young moms in this group, I thought I would get your opinions too. 

My 17 yo son is graduating from high school this year. He is exceptionally smart and could get into any college he wants. Unfortunately, he informed us last night that he has decided to forego a 4 year college in exchange for a technical school. He wants to get a certificate for landscaping and business at the same time. He and a friend have decided its a financial windfall for them to become landscapers. While I have no problem with whatever he wants to do, I want him to get a 4 year degree so that he has better opportunities if this idea does not work for him. I will do whatever I can to help him but this economy has a lot of people doing things like this themselves. He has always wanted to be a teacher and high school coach. I am not sure what to think. Im proud of him and will always be proud of him. I just want him to take advantage of all the opportunities he has in life. What do you think?

[MeeshMom]

Encourage him to get his associates degree first so if he changes his mind or plans fall through he will already have transferable credits. He needs those basic college skills and a business degree anyway if he wants to own and run a successful business someday. I'm working on my bachelors degree in business administration and I'll tell you these small business owners really need to know about accounting and other skills to run the show with success. My dad owned a business but he never went to college and that business fell through because he couldn't run it properly. It's not as easy as your son thinks.

[Kissybratzmom]

I think that's what any parent wants for their children, and there's nothing wrong with that. However, at 17 they have a mind of their own. If it doesn't pan out he can always go to a 4 year college. Teens are difficult to persuade.

[DAHLONEGAMOMMY]

I didnt say too much in a negative way. I explained I would support what decision he makes but I would prefer he go to a four year college. This boy can get into any school he wants, including Ivy League and he will have no problem getting financial aid. Im trying to be as optimistic as possible but its hard when you know they can do something more and dont want to. Thanks ladies!

[MarShy740]

Ask him since he wants to go in the business of landscaping to get his associates or Bach in business I keep reading that is the degree to get into. You can tell him to go for his business but on the side do landscaping.

[DAHLONEGAMOMMY]

I told him that maybe we could compromise and have him go to a 2 year college that has transferable credits. Hopefully he will do that! Thanks. Im thinking the same.

Quoting MarShy740:

Ask him since he wants to go in the business of landscaping to get his associates or Bach in business I keep reading that is the degree to get into. You can tell him to go for his business but on the side do landscaping.

[Mommyto2LilMen]

Not sure what to tell you, teens are like toddlers in the fact that once they have their mind made up, it is hard to change it!  Good luck and remember, at least he is finishing school and looking to go on, even if it isn't what you had in mind!

[MissTuree]

People travel down different paths. A HS friend of mine was absolutely brilliant, but he didn't like the idea of going to college and decided he'd rather be a waiter. I HATED him so much because he could have gotten into the college of his choice on scholarship! but would rather wait tables. He did that for a couple of years then started a mobile carwashing business. He is 27 now, his business is actually doing extremely well, he is living off of it and now paying for college with that money. He finally decided he wants to be a lawyer and is applying for law school next year. (Obviously he decided to start going back to college about a few years ago, he's not just jumping into law school)

Even though he could have fast tracked his life and went straight to college instead of doing everything that he did he went to the beat of his own drum and is a happier man because of it. His parents had called him a failure and kicked him out because he wasn't 'doing what he was supposed to'. Now they're beginning to eat their words. He is a successful businessman, and I believe wholeheartedly will be a succesful lawyer.

If you honestly believe in your son, let him follow his own path, he just may end up surprising you. :)

[DAHLONEGAMOMMY]

Thank you. You are correct. Im trying very hard to be positive and not alienate him. I would never call him a failure. He is a truly great kid and always had a good head on his shoulders. I know I cannot dictate his path but I sure would love to see him edge down a less bumpy one. However, you are right. He needs to find his own way and I have to let him do that. He has never given me any reason to worry about his decisions. He always has done the right thing. I have to have faith in that and let him go his way. I love him dealy and will be proud of whatever he does. I am, also a mom who wants my kid to have everything he can in life. Yet, in the end, it is about his dream, not mine. 

Quoting MissTuree:

People travel down different paths. A HS friend of mine was absolutely brilliant, but he didn't like the idea of going to college and decided he'd rather be a waiter. I HATED him so much because he could have gotten into the college of his choice on scholarship! but would rather wait tables. He did that for a couple of years then started a mobile carwashing business. He is 27 now, his business is actually doing extremely well, he is living off of it and now paying for college with that money. He finally decided he wants to be a lawyer and is applying for law school next year. (Obviously he decided to start going back to college about a few years ago, he's not just jumping into law school)

Even though he could have fast tracked his life and went straight to college instead of doing everything that he did he went to the beat of his own drum and is a happier man because of it. His parents had called him a failure and kicked him out because he wasn't 'doing what he was supposed to'. Now they're beginning to eat their words. He is a successful businessman, and I believe wholeheartedly will be a succesful lawyer.

If you honestly believe in your son, let him follow his own path, he just may end up surprising you. :)

[strongerwtime]

It sounds like he want to forego something that will get him a "ticket" sooner, so he can actually start being hands on with something.  He is 17 so I really think it will not take long for him to come to a conclusion that if his own idea isnt  working or should things not go as planned, he will still have time to rethink his plan and pick up with school again.  I think that you are doing the right thing by supporting him where his actual motivation lies.  Since he is all in with the technical school for the certificate I say give him a chance to show you and himself that he can do something great with it. 

[Chanel5nyc]

To be honest, no matter what you say he will not listen. I was the same way and wish I listened to my mom when I was 17. Most kids think their friends know more than their parents.

But he can get his business degree from a 4 year.