My daughter has been in ballet since the age of 3 and each year there is a ballet recital. Every year we invite her father to attend and he's attended all but one. This past September I received a text from his phone stating that I am no longer to have any communication with him as he had confessed to his wife that we were having an affair. Now I'll admit that we had an affair but that was back in June 2003 through November 2004 when I came to my senses and ended it, but he told her that it was on ongoing thing. Shortly after receiving his text his wife sent me a text stating that it was her that had sent me the text from his phone and then proceeded to say "Trust and believe I nor my children will have anything do with your funny a** looking daughter. DO NOT CONTACT my husband bi**h."
With her ballet recital coming up in May I want to avoid trouble, and being accused of caring on an affair that is non-existent, I want to inform him that he is not welcomed to any of her performances as I will be at all four. My daughter has decided that she does not want him there either for reasons of her own (he has no regular contact with her he only sees her when he visits his mom and she's over there). His attendance to her recital or any function has caused trouble in his marriage as he attends without his wife's knowledge and somehow it ends up becoming my fault.
Since their marriage I have always turned the other way in order to keep a good relationship with him for our daughter's sake so that she wouldn't have to choose between her mother and father. I've put up with a lot but this situation was the icing on the cake I am no longer willing to let bygones be bygones as I keep being made out to look like the bad guy.
Am I wrong for not wanting him to attend?
I must add that while I may not invite his mom will just about insist that he attend being that he is her father, she doesn't seem to understand that if it wasn't for her that he wouldn't have anything whatsoever to do with his daughter.
Have you filed for child support? Sorry, she is his daughter, there should be some type of visitation order. If he chooses not to see her, then go from there. I would make sure I petitoned for supervised visitation or that his wife not be aloud to be near with the child because of her attitude.
How did you expect the wife to react finding out that her husband not only had an affair but a child as well???
The three of you need family counseling... you, bio dad and your child.
Has he come previously without an invitation from you? If so, I would talk to his mom and inform her that your dd does not want him there so please don't tell him to show up. I wouldn't go out of my way to tell him he is not welcome, regardless of what you say or do, you will still be the "bad guy" as he still refuses to take any responsibility for his actions.
Quoting bcauseimthemom:
Have you filed for child support? Sorry, she is his daughter, there should be some type of visitation order. If he chooses not to see her, then go from there. I would make sure I petitoned for supervised visitation or that his wife not be aloud to be near with the child because of her attitude.
How did you expect the wife to react finding out that her husband not only had an affair but a child as well???
The three of you need family counseling... you, bio dad and your child.
I did file for child support in March 2002 and visitation was set. Visitation was followed but when he got unexpectedly married in July 2002 he stopped visitation and his mom picked it up. Let me add that they got married 5 days after his now wife found out that he was already cheating on her with me. Our daughter is his first born she was born in 2000 and his wife was well aware of the fact that my daughter existed and that him and I were still involved when she chose to marry him. I'm not justifying what I did is right however she did go into her marriage with the knowledge and like I said I ended the affair. She would have reason to be mad if the affair had continued as he "confessed" it had. He "confessed" merely because after 9 years of not receiving child support I got the state involved to enforce it.
While family counseling would be great it's not possible, he's not willing to put the time and effort into our daughter. He purchased a phone for a daughter and he never bothers to call or even text to see how she's doing. He finds out everything that is going on with her through his mother and he's content with that.
no. you AND your daughter dont want him there. he's out lol. he doesnt get to have privliges to see her when he is always causing so much drama.
Quoting hollydaze1974:
daughter doesn't want him there, it's her choice. do not invite him
If his wife or him try to make their problem yyours again, tell them ONCE that their problems have nothing to do w you and leave you alone, and if they continue this, you will contact the police for harrassment. Then ignore and follow through.
survival tips for a new mom to be on her frist day as a single mom.
Have you........... *poll*
- N_Always_Smiles
on Feb. 16, 2012 at 11:17 AM