he wants to take her out of state and shes not even one!!--venting but need advice too...**UPDATE**
so dd2 is 6 months old we live in wi....her dad who is NOW married with a baby on the way wants to take her to Iowa. he has seen her once when she was a few weeks old for a few hours. his mom met her once and will be babysitting on saturday (i have known them for 12 years but still.....) i have never been away for either of my children for that long and never been that far apart....the longest dd1 was away from me over night was a week and a half because i was in the hospital and i still saw her every other day. Anyway i breast feed when im with her otherwise she is formula fed and if shes gone for a week i will have to stop breastfeeding not to mention she doesnt know him (he wants to tke her there to meet his family) or his family he wants to take her to a new place with a bunch of strangers...i havent even met these people....i am NOT okay with this. in our custody agreement it says reasonable time reasonable notice for visitation and this is a month away but still/...can i say no? can i say he cant have her for an entire week?!?! just a few hours everyday?!?! not to mention its not fair to seperate my girls...they are around eachother ALL the time...dd1's grandma may not be related to dd2 but shes still her grandma ya know?!?! i am trying to use day care as an excuse...i get assistance so if she is not there the alotted hours every week i will lose my assistance AND if shes not there for a number of days when she comes back they may have filled her spot and if they didnt i wil; have to start the whole process over again including paying another $50 registration fee. is there anything i can do? am i wrong for saying no?!?! am i over reacting?!?! her dad doesnt even call so she can hear his voice he could care less if i sent him pictures and hes just an ass....sending me ultra sound pictures and telling me all about his baby on the way....idc we arent together...i didnt want to be with him anyway but it still hurts like "haha your raising 2 kids by yourself and i dont help you AT ALL but this is a picture of my son and this is going to be his name and hes gonna be born on this day oh btw when can dd come out here to visit?" idk i guess i needed to vent but what would you do? how would this make you feel? btw dd1's father is more apart of dd2's life than her bio dad.
Well i talked to my worker from child support and she said if we dont agree we have to go to mediation and by the time we even get into mediation the dates he will want to take her will have come and gone. i told him he could have her the days he is HERE but only ONE over night before he goes so she can get to know him before she spends the night somewhere new....he wants to tell me im in contempt of court HAHAHAHAHA...oh well....im no longer worried. he can keep messaging me on facebook i am now ignoring him when it comes to this topic.
Considering the issues you listed, I don't think that is "reasonable time".....
That said, if he wants to take her (and it happens) you need to tell him that he needs to pay for the week at daycare. There is no reason dd should lose her spot at daycare b/c dad is taking her for a week.....and there is no reason YOU should have to pay for that week.
I know it's a bigger issue than "money".....but, it may make him think twice if you tell him that if he takes her, he will need to pay the $150-$200 (estimate?) to keep her spot at daycare!
203/week......n its 10 days...if she misses 10 days n in may we are going to new york for my uncles funeral (he was cremated we arent planning his death lol)
Quoting one_on_the_way:
Considering the issues you listed, I don't think that is "reasonable time".....
That said, if he wants to take her (and it happens) you need to tell him that he needs to pay for the week at daycare. There is no reason dd should lose her spot at daycare b/c dad is taking her for a week.....and there is no reason YOU should have to pay for that week.
I know it's a bigger issue than "money".....but, it may make him think twice if you tell him that if he takes her, he will need to pay the $150-$200 (estimate?) to keep her spot at daycare!
He needs to make some weekend trips to where you live to spend time with her and get to know her. Otherwise, it's like a stranger is taking her and that's not appropriate.
I wouldn't let her go for that long if he has not established a solid relationship and she's breastfeeding. That's just ridiculous. I agree with pp that he need to come for weekends to establish a relationship first.
Is he paying support? Does the custody agreement spell ou when he gets to have her? If it isevery other weekend or 1 night a week you can refuse on those grounds. If he isn't paying support I would tell him he needs to get up to date before she travels with him. if he is not paying make him take you to court for the travel plans and you can press for the support money. Any of those options work for you?
we are in the middle of the child support thing now but i havent gotten anything from him....visitation is when hes in town...im in wi hes in ca...so court says resonable time reasonable notice....as far as time goes i dont think a whole week is reasonable considering shes met him once for an hour....
Quoting justme91755:
Is he paying support? Does the custody agreement spell ou when he gets to have her? If it isevery other weekend or 1 night a week you can refuse on those grounds. If he isn't paying support I would tell him he needs to get up to date before she travels with him. if he is not paying make him take you to court for the travel plans and you can press for the support money. Any of those options work for you?
survival tips for a new mom to be on her frist day as a single mom.
Have you........... *poll*
- HadnKmom
on Feb. 16, 2012 at 9:22 PM