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can single mums survive without social welfare?????

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im linda, i live in ireland and im currently studying in college to get a career. i had my baby at 17 and im 23 now. i had to go on social welfare wen i had my son cause i couldnt support myself otherwise and am still on welfare now.

my question for all the other single parents is, is it possible to work, have a house and live comfortably and not be on welfare while doing it alone. im stressing the whole time thinking about will i be able to have a career and still maintain a family as a single parent.

are there mums on this that have careers and manage to survive???????????

by on Mar. 22, 2012 at 5:31 PM
Replies (11-20):
vbway
by Member on Mar. 22, 2012 at 5:54 PM
1 mom liked this

Glad that I could help. Just stay focused on your goals. Always be planning your next step, even if it is a small one. Good luck. 

Quoting xxbabigurlxx:


Quoting vbway:

I wouldn't say I am comfortable. I live mostly paycheck to paycheck. But I don't get any assistance and my ex does not pay his child support.....ever. I have a good job, I pay all my bills, put my girls in private school, dance, piano and sports. It's hard work, but it can be done. 

thanks!!! that gives me alot of inspiration...all the single parents i no are on welfare and i just dont want that...i want to be able to pay for my own things from my own money..im just constantly stressing about will i be able to do it but your story gives me hope


xxbabigurlxx
by Member on Mar. 22, 2012 at 5:56 PM


Quoting faerie75:

 well idk if its different htere but here if i was on Public Assistance (PA) id be getting about 600 in cash a month for two kids and working i get about 2425 after taxes, plus about 400 in child support. if i was on PA, the state woudl take my child support. if you are on PA you can get food stamps for food. i pay about 400 a month in food. and you can get on daycare assistance programs. if you work but are income eligible, you can get daycare assistnace but there is a LONG LONG wait list. if you are on PA they want your ass to get the fuck to work so you get it faster. cost of daycare varies. if i had two kids under school age id be looking at 1600-2000 a month. if i was looking at after school care for two id be looking at 800-1000. so there goes a fat chnk of change.

i get by without any help. even if i had free section 8 rent and food stamps i still rather not figure out how to stretch 600 a month. cuz thats not free spending money. you still otta pay your power and any other bills w that.

i no its a great problem to have but our problem is we have really good social welfare in ireland...i get 237euro a week ands 150euro a month and my rent is free. i just REALLY  wanna get off welfare cause i dont wanna be a statistic...the thing is here that if your not on welfare you come out with less unless you have a really good job. i HATE been on welfare so hopfully wen i graduate ill have a job that pays good!!1

Luvmyfam7
by on Mar. 22, 2012 at 5:57 PM
I'm a single mom, work full time in military and go to school. Though I am on WIC, we barely use it. You can do it. And so what if you have to be on welfare? If you need it, you need it.
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HeartofGold
by Member on Mar. 22, 2012 at 6:05 PM

 I'm a single mom for 3 years now and I do not receive any welfare.

It is possible. You have to work hard and really want better for you and your family.

It is very hard juggling everything on my own and I battle the exhaustion each and everyday but I wouldn't want it any other way.

I have succeeded in life more as a single mom then I ever did when I was in a relationship. I am about to do something that I never imagined I would ever be able to do when I was not single. I am purchasing my own home. This is a big accomplishment for me and being able to do that as a single mom is very gratifying.

unspecified42
by on Mar. 22, 2012 at 7:25 PM

I was on Medicaid when he was little, cash assistance for 4 months, and WIC for a few months as well. I had my son when I was 19 and I went into nursing school shortly after that. I became an RN when I was 23 and bought my house a few months later. We live comfortably and not on public assistance. And I only work 36 hours a week. It's pretty great.

JustRachel78
by on Mar. 23, 2012 at 10:14 AM

Linda i'm a living example of a single mom doing it 100% alone, no government assistence, family or friends helping in any way. I can tell you that it's not easy, the stress of figuring out how to put food in our mouths the first year aged me immensely. for me it was a matter of deciding that i didnt have much left after being left to birth and raise a child alone and i was damned if i would lose my pride to. so, i figured out what we really did and did not need and started making sacrifices.

Now after 2 and half years of fighting, figuring and working both my paid job and my mom job 7 days a week, 20 hours a day i can honestly say we are making it! it's getting less hard to figure things out because i have learned how to live with what we have, my stress is down, hopes are up. i made hige efforts at work to do more than i had to so that i could learn what skills i needed to move forward and that paid off too, i got a better job and am looking forward to moving forward again in a year or so.

I just want to say to all of us moms trying to do it all alone, we CAN make our lives and the lives of our children rich, fullfilling and happy! we have the right to get discouraged, feel scared, dream big, get mad. But we  can still get back up every time a little stronger, a little more determined, a little less stressed. I have never believed the people (including family) that said i couldn't do this. i have allowed myself to feel however i need at a moment but discipled myself to still follow through with working through the toughest times.

For the women who feel that they have to choose government assistence, ladies, ultimately you are making choices for you and your children based on what you feel is best. no one has the right to condem you. it is hard to be self sufficent. in this day and age what our kids need is solid morals, love by guidence, disciplne, care & involvement. The best toys, clothes, cars and whatever else can not be the priority. Even struggling as I am, i manage to keep my son in new clothes, plenty of learning toys, movies and food he needs. i hope anyone who reads this understands that my point is to encourage because i believe in the power we all have!

JustRachel78
by on Mar. 23, 2012 at 10:18 AM

Awesome sucess story! Keep up the great work you rock

gregory2
by on Mar. 23, 2012 at 10:33 AM

 I am a single mother to three young kids (5, 3, &1) I have been doing this for going on 3 yrs now. I was on assistance at first. I decided to go back to school. That has been a blessing. I've worked my butt off, and just recently go the pay off I was looking for. I was only on assistance 6 mo to begin with. Then I lived paycheck to paycheck. Barely getting by. As the years go on I have had raises and bonus' through work that had made me more financially stable. I'm please to say that now, I actually have two savings- one for a new vehicle, and another to buy a house. I plan the pay half the cost up front and put the rest on a secured loan in order to build my credit (as of now I have none). So, I have plans, and I know if I keep working hard one day I will achieve them. As long as you have a goal, and determination you don't want to be statistic, you wont be I promise!

mamadee1971
by Dionne on Mar. 23, 2012 at 11:10 AM

Yes, it is very much so possible, but getting a little temporary help isn't going to kill you, either.

5BMom
by on Mar. 23, 2012 at 12:37 PM
I am a single mom of two and I take no welfare of any kind. However, I get fabulous child support and don't have to work.
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