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tubal regret

Posted by on Apr. 7, 2012 at 11:34 AM
  • 19 Replies
I met this wonderful man, have been going out for awhile, he loves my kids and they love him but i think he does want some of his own and i have my tubes tied???
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by on Apr. 7, 2012 at 11:34 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Chanel5nyc
by Shanell on Apr. 7, 2012 at 11:42 AM
Ask him does he want kids.

Sometimes it can be irreversible. Sometimes it can be reversible.

Good luck.
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2007mommy2be
by on Apr. 7, 2012 at 11:42 AM
U can get a reversal if it means that much to yall. U gotta learn the risks and stuff. U also can get an egg of urs (well drs) and his sperm and have someone carry it. Idk. Or he can accept the sitch as it is and love u anyways.
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Robsessed98
by on Apr. 7, 2012 at 12:11 PM

That's just a choice he will have to make... unless you get to the point where a reversal is an option.

NananRaysmom
by Bronze Member on Apr. 7, 2012 at 12:32 PM
I know how you feel. Mine wants kids..and I feel he may resent me one day because I can't have more. But..he knew this going in... I have a heart condition...and would die if I got pregnant. I could have kids after my next heart surgery...but I would be over 35...and I don't want kids at that age. So it is what it is.
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CampClan
by Bronze Member on Apr. 7, 2012 at 2:41 PM
1 mom liked this

 I don't regret mine AT ALL! I have 5 wonderful kids & knew that my youngest was going to be my last (although if he was my 1st he'd be an only child). I have always said if I meet someone with kids, great. But if he doesn't have any of his own & wants them- then I am not the woman for him because I am done!

Now- with THAT said- I have a friend whose only child is 11 years old. She is not with anyone right now. She was told a few years ago that she has something wrong with her uterus & the chances of her getting pregnant are very slim & if she does she may not carry the baby to term. If it came down to it & she asked- I would carry a baby for her (provided I am able)!

muwchck
by on Apr. 7, 2012 at 3:45 PM

If it comes down to it, and you are willing, you can always have your eggs harvested and have IVF done.  Or if he really cares about you, he will take your kids in as his own and never look back.  I lucked out, and hubby considers my oldest to be his own, even though he was 5 the day we got married.  If you ask him, he has 2 kids (mine and ours), and doesn't mind one bit.

bethanyb0325
by on Apr. 7, 2012 at 4:19 PM

I am in the same boat. I love my bf and things are great, but he talks about one day getting married and having kids. I can't bc my tubes are tied and i can't get mine revered bc I almost dead having gio. It makes me wonder that later on he will leave me bc I can't give him any kids. This has always bothered me knowing i will never be able to give a man a child. Its really hard on me emotionally

bethanyb0325
by on Apr. 7, 2012 at 4:21 PM

I have thought about this myself. This is the only way I could ever give a man a child. 

Quoting muwchck:

If it comes down to it, and you are willing, you can always have your eggs harvested and have IVF done.  Or if he really cares about you, he will take your kids in as his own and never look back.  I lucked out, and hubby considers my oldest to be his own, even though he was 5 the day we got married.  If you ask him, he has 2 kids (mine and ours), and doesn't mind one bit.


KeriAZ
by on Apr. 7, 2012 at 4:35 PM

Dont worry. I had mine tied, cut and burned closed 16 yrs ago so I cant get pregnant that way and now I REALLY cant cause the chemotherapy threw me into early menopause. So any guy I date or marry (cringing) will have to make due.

Twinglemomi
by on Apr. 7, 2012 at 5:28 PM

I had my tubes tied on the younger side, I was 23...right before my 24th birthday. My oldest was almost 4 when I had my twins. I had always said I was going to have two kids, maybe three. So when I got three after two pregnancies I knew I wasn't going to have anymore. I have medical issues that would make having more near impossible anyway. I haven't dated a ton, but I am right upfront about not being able to have any more kids. I would definitely hesitate dating a guy who doesn't have any biological children of his own. Because I was so young when I had my tubal, they used Hulka clamps, which is supposedly the easiest method to reverse. They would have to remove the clamp, cut away the sections of tube that have been blocked by scar tissue and then re-sect them. It's not super successful, if you look online people who have had reversals don't have the best rates of pregnancy. It increases your risk of ectopic pregnancy too. And it's not cheap. I'd almost be more willing to do a round of IVF than to attempt a reversal, at least with IVF if it works you don't have to worry about birth control afterward. IVF is really expensive too.

Now I'm 35, my kids are 16, 12 & 12. I work with kids, I love babies, I love toddlers. Would I want to be lugging a diaper bag and getting up at two in the morning to nurse again? Nope.

 

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