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Last name question

Posted by on Apr. 17, 2012 at 12:18 PM
  • 15 Replies

Im 34 weeks pregnant right now with my 2nd. With my first I was with the father and honestly thought we would end up married and have a happy family. I gave her his last name. Fast forward 2 years and her dad is a deadbeat. Now Im faced with the task of naming this little girl. (Different dad) He seems interested. But I have seen first hand how he is with his 5 year old son. Basically hit or miss. And tries to get out of paying child support every chance he gets. I regret giving my daughter her dads last name because he nor his family have anything to do with her. And I really do not want to make the same mistake twice. Does anyone know the legal aspect of this situation? Or just experience and advice? I live in Indiana if that helps...

by on Apr. 17, 2012 at 12:18 PM
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by on Apr. 17, 2012 at 12:21 PM
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 Honestly you can name the kid whatever you want. If you see how the father is when his son, then I would doubt it will change with this one. I would say give your baby your last name, if your not married, and let it be that. You can always change the name if you do decide to wed. BOL!

by on Apr. 17, 2012 at 12:22 PM

by on Apr. 17, 2012 at 12:26 PM

 U can put ur last name on the birth cert. and if u go to court for child support the judge will only change the last name to his if he ask for his to be on it. As for me I would not take mine off so my son has two middle names and then his dad's last name. I still use my last name for everything for him since I have the S.S.N and birth cert with my last name for him. I live in Indiana so thats what I did.

by on Apr. 17, 2012 at 12:26 PM

 my friend gave her 1st dd her ex's last name, but after the same situation you are in she was able to change her dd's last name to her own last name.  i think it just costs a filling fee.  i agree with trublonde130, you can always change the name later.

by on Apr. 17, 2012 at 12:33 PM

 if i were you id give the baby whatever last name you have (hopefully your maiden) and then look into changing you older one's last name as well. that way you and your kids are the same! legally you can name the baby whatever the hell you want. you dont even have to give the baby your last name if you dont want to. my kids have their fathers last name but after we got divorced i kept his last name anyway so it didnt matter to me.

by Amanda on Apr. 17, 2012 at 12:38 PM

You can give the baby whatever last name you want but if he objects to it he can take you to court to have it changed to his. If he really is a deadbeat then it won't matter because he won't take you to court over it.

I gave my son my last name when he was born and ended up in a nasty legal battle and being forced to change his last name to his dads when he was 3. He's almost 5 now and I'm still trying to get everything changed over to the new name.

by on Apr. 17, 2012 at 12:55 PM
1 mom liked this

Please think about this - it is MUCH easier later on to change her name to her dad's if he stays active and it is what he wants (it can cost free, 25 or at most fifty dollars)

BUT - if you give her his name and later want to change it - you have to take him to court - it can be a battle and it cost a lot more - often over a thousand dollars

Give her your own name till you are 100% sure is my advice!

by on Apr. 17, 2012 at 12:58 PM
You can name you child anything you want. If you want Franklin Turtle than that's what it will be. IMO you should give your baby, your last name.
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by on Apr. 17, 2012 at 1:42 PM

Thanks everyone! My gut is telling me to give her my name. But Im sure he will fight me. Even though he is barely in his son's life. I think he feels like it is his 'right' or something. And honestly its just as much his right as it is mine.

If I want to change my oldest DD's wont I need her dads consent since he has established paternity. Im sure that will be a battle of its own.

by on Apr. 17, 2012 at 2:33 PM

Hello, I understand your dilemma. I have just one child but when I found out I was having him I knew that the father and I would not be a couple, though I never thought he'd be a dead beat either. Because by the time I was 7 mos pregnant I determined that his dad was a "maybe dad" I decided to give my son my last name. That way if his dad fulfilled his dead beat status, my son could have a tie to me by name,etc. However..his dad is central american and evidently what I did was a big no-no in their culture. He feels now that he has no connection with his son because he has a different last name, ridiculous. That being said, if his dad was around, making a true effort, etc I would consider changing my sons last name. To me, it's just a name at this point. Legally it makes no difference of last names, it matters if he signed the birth certificate. My son's dad had no legal rights to his son because he never signed the BC or paternity papers. It wasn't until he asked for a paternity test and I filed for child support, did he become legally responsible. 

So as far as your situation goes, I feel it was best to have given your first child your name. And, if your second child-to-be is with what seems like a bit of a dead beat as far as child support, why does he deserve to have his daughter have his name? It really is the mothers choice. I am all for giving children their fathers name. But it is really an honor if you think about it. And, i might add that even if things go well with the current father to your new baby to be..I would file for CS anyway as it doesn't seem like he is going to do it in good faith. Hope this helps!

Kristen & Aiden (6-18-04)

Strong and capable single mom..doing my best!  have a good night

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