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I need help with my 4 year old. Piog

Posted by on Apr. 19, 2012 at 12:53 PM
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A little backstory before I get into my madness. I'm a single mom to two little boys. They are 4 and 6. I had my older son when I was 17 and I was married to their father. Their father became very abusive so I had to leave and divorce him. When I left, my older boy was 2 and my youngest was 3 months old. So pretty much it's been me and my two boys for the past 4 years; their father sees them once a year and calls maybe twice a year. So he's pretty much non existent. They only know him as "dad" but they don't understand the whole "daddy" concept. I have a Bf I've been with for 3 and a half years so it's pretty much the only father they have ever known. And they always say to him "I want to call you daddy, you act like my daddy". Anyways-

Over the past month my youngest son has been acting out. Not just a one day, throwing a tantrum kind of thing I think it's more severe. He's very deceitful; he will hold up something, say his HW and say "I'm going to rip this paper" and then have this devil smirk on him and when I say you better not, he will do it and the whole time look me straight in the eyes.

I do timeouts, but it's gotten to the point where he will do something bad and then say "I'm going to go to timeout now, tell me when I can get out" all with a smile on his face. I tried throwing out toys and that turned into him saying "let me help you throw out my toys", and he isn't affected by punishment AT ALL. If I tell him something, he does the opposite. And he hasn't been like this until up to a month ago. It's like all of the sudden this wretched behavior has come over him. Before that he was so well behaved and the sweetest little boy.

And now today I go to pick him up from school and it turned into a 45 minute conversation between me and the teacher of pretty much the same behavior he has shown at home. He wasn't listening, sitting out at play time didnt affect him, he was doing things like standing on tables to get a laugh etc.

Nothing has changed in our lives to provoke such behavior. I don't understand where this is coming from.

I tried the timeouts like I said, but he laughs about it and tells me he likes sitting in his room by himself.

I tried throwing out toys and he will say he never plays with that toy anyways.

I tried taking things away (tv time, dessert etc) and he just shrugs and says "oh well".

I tried spankings and he just tells me it doesn't hurt and laughs.

I don't know how many more times I can threaten Santa isnt coming this year.

Anybody have any suggestions or have experienced similar behaviors? I'm desperate, please!
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by on Apr. 19, 2012 at 12:53 PM
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