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2 Babies in less than 5 months *LONG* -Edit-

Posted by on Apr. 22, 2012 at 2:42 AM
  • 14 Replies

Okay, so dd is 7 weeks old as of Thursday and to update about her father (Lets call him A), NO he has still yet to ask about dd. (Previous post below, as well as a lil more info)  

I had a friend come into town this weekend and he happeneds to be a mutual friend of me and A. A hasnt seen his dd since she left the hospital with the excuse of not having money or a way to come over and see her. Well, he had the opprotunity to see her yesterday with my friend giving him a ride. Did he show up? NO! His excuse being that he had to go to an appointment with his girlfriend (lets call her M).  Okay, why do you have to hold her hand; she is more important and your dd? Well I guess our friend hung out with A last night.

I get a call from my friend this morning and he explains that A has managed to get M pregnant!  4 1/2 months pregnant at that! WTF.  There is back story with that girlfriend.... if anyone is interested in hearing about it just ask.  Its a story in itself(Back story is below). 

I broke it off with him when I was 4 months pregnant and he got with M right after the fact.  I just had dd March 1st.  M was at least 2 months pregnant while A stood in MY delivery room while I gave birth.  I was on the fence on whether or not to allow him in the delivery room.  I had posted about this a while back. I wasnt going to let him be there, because I felt he hadnt earned it; but I caved and let him in.  F**K  I regret it!

Anyway, I am going to go to the welfare office and figure out what all I have to do to file for full custody and child support this week.  I have been so pissed all day over this bullshit.  



((Previous post about Ex SO)) 

TL;DR Version- Im upset at the fact that DD father hasnt asked how she is in 3 (Now 7) weeks.  


Ok. So Im not with my dd's father, havnt been since I was 4mo pregnant. I am now 4 weeks pp.  He doesnt have a job, he apparently is working for the government babysitting for a friend of his ( I have had a few friends do this, it is legit, but you have to do everything they say in order to get your wages, just like any job ).  Thing is, he has been supposedly doing this for about 2 months now... Has he gotten paid yet? Not that I am aware of!  Because he needs a new ID and a birth cert.  Well, why havnt you got those yet so you can get your f***n money???? Seriously? I gave him the benefit of the doubt that he wanted to be involved and I kept defending him about the fact that he cares about his dd.  I just dont see any effort. In the 4 weeks of his daughters life he as asked how she was ONCE. He has told me he was off certain days but he didnt know how he was going to make it over to my house. Thing is, he may be broke, but I know his mother would give him 5 bucks to get on the bus to see her gradbaby.  My mom has forbidden me from picking up seeing that it is her car, and she/and I want to see how long it will take him to get over here himself. I will also not take her over to his house because he has a bed bug issue.  So yea, that has been my major upset for the last week or so; I realized he hasnt ask how dd is in 3 weeks. 


((For those who requested the backstory on M.))

Okay so, A dated M before me, they had broken up not to long before. I didnt really know much about her until later on in the relationship. Apparently she was seeing another woman throughout the relationship (odd but okay).  Anyway, she got pregnant by him. She had broken it off with him to be with the other woman early in the pregnancy.  A says he tried to find her and contact her and blah blah blah throughout the whole and after the baby was born to no success.  He said he was very pissed about her leaving and this that and the other but I actually doubt now that I see the way he is treating this his dd; he just flat doesnt care. He hadnt see her for about 2 1/2 - 3 years ish (I think, dont quote me on the time line.... I think the kid is just turning 2 and he hadnt seen her since she got pregnant). I was at his house talking to him, we had broken up by this time, and there was a knock at the door. There was M. She comes in and tells her sob story and how she put the baby up for adoption.  He had never seen or met that baby! I was furious.  She had told one story there, and then a few weeks later Im chatting with another mutual friend of A and Is and she explains a different story (that M supposidly told her).  Really? They dont recall that explaination either... I am sorry to say that they are both kind of slow.  Something has to be wrong with them to make them forget what they said the first time around. Im great at catching people in lies, because I actually listen... I may not remember ALL of what is said but I remember most. Anyway, they get back together; AFTER ALL OF THAT! How could you get back with someone who ends up leaving with your first born and disappears and reappears telling you she put them up for adoption. Then you get her pregnant while you have another chick 5 months pregnant! WTF.  

BTW he doesnt know I know yet.

  

Athena Dale ~ March 1, 2012

by on Apr. 22, 2012 at 2:42 AM
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Replies (1-10):
KailesMommy
by on Apr. 22, 2012 at 5:57 AM
Wow....good luck is all I can say other than is he on her birth certificate? And u can file for child support usually without paying and if he isn't on the birth certificate then they will do dna and take him to court for only cs. If he wants visits and is NOT on the birth certificate on his own he does not have rights to her and he will have to take u to court with a lawyer and if he won't pay 5 bucks to come see her he won't pay for a lawyer. Child support and visits are two different problems.
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KailesMommy
by on Apr. 22, 2012 at 5:57 AM
That is what the child support office has told me and has written down in my child support stuff.
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SinceresMomma
by on Apr. 22, 2012 at 7:12 AM
Wow, I would be pissed off too. Just make sure you take him to court for child support. Try and do it before his second child is born. What's the back story of this girl M?
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2007mommy2be
by on Apr. 22, 2012 at 7:27 AM
Ya file for cs right away (before baby 2 is born). Like Monday! And ya I wanna know the back story too!
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2007mommy2be
by on Apr. 22, 2012 at 7:28 AM
Dad to be of my baby to be will not be on the bc.

Quoting KailesMommy:

Wow....good luck is all I can say other than is he on her birth certificate? And u can file for child support usually without paying and if he isn't on the birth certificate then they will do dna and take him to court for only cs. If he wants visits and is NOT on the birth certificate on his own he does not have rights to her and he will have to take u to court with a lawyer and if he won't pay 5 bucks to come see her he won't pay for a lawyer. Child support and visits are two different problems.
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Twinglemomi
by on Apr. 22, 2012 at 8:07 AM

Child support and custody / visitation are two separate issues. Child support enforcement can help you with DNA testing if he is not on the birth certificate, a court order for child support, and enforcement of that order. They don't care about custody or visitation, they are only concerned with financial / medical support. You will need to go to court to file for custody and any visitation order, but the court can't force him to take any visitation ordered. You can offer it, but you can't make him want to take it.

I am a firm believer in actions not words, and his actions speak pretty clearly. If he really wanted to see his child he would make it happen. It's hard, but try to focus on enjoying your baby rather than things you can't change. Good Luck!

Cat.astrophe
by on Apr. 22, 2012 at 12:18 PM

I knew they were two diff problems, just unsure of how to go about it lol.  Do I need to file for custody first or can I get child support either way?

Quoting Twinglemomi:

Child support and custody / visitation are two separate issues. Child support enforcement can help you with DNA testing if he is not on the birth certificate, a court order for child support, and enforcement of that order. They don't care about custody or visitation, they are only concerned with financial / medical support. You will need to go to court to file for custody and any visitation order, but the court can't force him to take any visitation ordered. You can offer it, but you can't make him want to take it.

I am a firm believer in actions not words, and his actions speak pretty clearly. If he really wanted to see his child he would make it happen. It's hard, but try to focus on enjoying your baby rather than things you can't change. Good Luck!


Athena Dale ~ March 1, 2012

Cat.astrophe
by on Apr. 22, 2012 at 12:37 PM

posted backstory in post

Quoting SinceresMomma:

Wow, I would be pissed off too. Just make sure you take him to court for child support. Try and do it before his second child is born. What's the back story of this girl M?


Athena Dale ~ March 1, 2012

Cat.astrophe
by on Apr. 22, 2012 at 12:38 PM

Posted it in main post 

Quoting 2007mommy2be:

Ya file for cs right away (before baby 2 is born). Like Monday! And ya I wanna know the back story too!


Athena Dale ~ March 1, 2012

Cat.astrophe
by on Apr. 22, 2012 at 12:40 PM

I am a believer of actions too, and it upsets me just how much I gave him the benefit of the doubt. I defended him too! Thats all over now. He has shown me that he doesnt give a fuck.  My main issue is if he ends up wanting to take her to his house.  He has bed bugs. I refuse to let dd go over there. I hope that will help my case.

Quoting Twinglemomi:

Child support and custody / visitation are two separate issues. Child support enforcement can help you with DNA testing if he is not on the birth certificate, a court order for child support, and enforcement of that order. They don't care about custody or visitation, they are only concerned with financial / medical support. You will need to go to court to file for custody and any visitation order, but the court can't force him to take any visitation ordered. You can offer it, but you can't make him want to take it.

I am a firm believer in actions not words, and his actions speak pretty clearly. If he really wanted to see his child he would make it happen. It's hard, but try to focus on enjoying your baby rather than things you can't change. Good Luck!


Athena Dale ~ March 1, 2012

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