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Disabled & alive or better off dead *POLL ADDED*

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Question: Could you do it?

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So I'm just now watching an episode of Dr. Phil I dvr'd last week and it's about a woman who has 2 children. Both of who were born "normal" ( or whatever society deems normal) At the ages of 7 and 8 they were diagnosed with a disabling condition (forgot the name) and now 17 years later they are both confined to wheelchairs, do not speak and have feeding tubes.

The mother wants to be able to legally euthanize both of her children by lethal injection to put them out of thier misery. The only way she could "kill" them legally is to pull out the feeding tubes causing then to starve to death. She says that if she had never gotten the feeding tubes for them they would have died already. The siblings have no sense of feelings so there's no way to tell if they are in pain.

Could you do it? Could you kill your child/ren to put them out of thier misery? Knowing that when you're gone your child/ren will be cared for by strangers? What do you think?

Personally, I'm conflicted. Idk how I would handle it if I were in the situation.  I mean on the one hand you don't know if they are suffering because they have no way of telling you but at the same time since God is the only one who can give and take life, should you be allowed to take it? 


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by on Apr. 22, 2012 at 9:29 PM
Replies (231-240):
honkeytonkgalok
by on Apr. 23, 2012 at 8:49 PM
Working in the ems field I see this all the time, children, parents grandparents being kept alive at home where their families try to take care of them...these people with bedsores so bad u can stick a fist in them...if it where me and I was going to have that quality of life ...not being able to eat ..walk, talk move and just be left to rot away please please do me the deceny and unhook me...it would be tough for any parent having to let a child go...but to know with or without these machines the kids would die anyways I would never hook my child up ...like I truely believe sometimes ...all the time u have to let go and let God...
PiinkStrawberii
by on Apr. 23, 2012 at 8:53 PM
1 mom liked this
That lady needs to be shot....... a mother Loves & cares for her kids regardless of any situation. I've been in a wheelchair my whole life & not once did. My mom wish i was better off dead
bhejlik
by on Apr. 23, 2012 at 8:56 PM

We have the same thing with our famlies. Nobody wants tubes, intubation or CPR. Well, my husband and I want tubes an CPR for now, but if things won't get better then we want them pulled. It's all a matter of having all of the information in front of you and know what choices should be made. I work as a nurse, and some patients and famliies aren't ready to let go yet. It's sad for me because I remember a patient who was married. She had a major stroke and lived in a vegetative state for 10 years before she passed. She was never made a DNR, so when things went bad, she was intubated a few times and sent to the ICU. Her husband would visist daily and hold her hand, but "SHE" wasnt' there. By "SHE" i mean the woman he married. I know letting go is hard, but watcing people suffer is worse.

I think with the lady though, she should have made a better decision in the beginning. If I knew there was no hope of a reversal and that my daughter would always be in a vegetative state then I wouldn't place the tube. I would never do that to anyone.

Quoting Crazy-Steph:

All of our parents (as well as hubby and I) have DNRs on file.  There would be no feeding tubes to begin with.  So yes, in essence, I would let my parents die.

Quoting Mommyto2LilMen:

So what if your mom or dad had a stroke and were unable to eat, drink, care for themself, personality was gone and they needed 24/7 care. Would you kill them?! I sure has he** wouldn't!!

Quoting mlg1989:

Quoting Mommyto2LilMen:

NO WAY!! I was ticked off watching the episode!! Who you willingly wnat to kill the child.  Lethal injection!?  It's like putting your dog or cat to sleep!! SO WRONG!!!








So you'd starve them to death or keep them alive to be like that THEN worse?

I think its more cruel to keep them alive honestly...a tube in their stomachs for over 15yrs, they'd choke if they eat. They don't talk or make eye contact and they barely move in their wheelchairs.

They are basically dead but being FORCED to stay alive.



bhejlik
by on Apr. 23, 2012 at 8:59 PM

I have to say, that I work as an RN. We don't want this for you. What happens that makes doctors extremely cautious is that someone in your family wll sue his/her ass so they have to make sure that they're butts are covered. It has nothing to do with the hospital wanting money, it has to do with the patient's family being greedy after a death!


Quoting mik1of3:


Quoting 5BMom:

I saw that episode. The feeding tubes should never have gone in to begin with....not when their outcome is 100% predictable. Now this mom who chose this life for them only sees them once every few months... I honestly don't think I could euthanize my children buf I damned well no I would not have taken life saving measures to begin with.

This.   It would be hard either way....but I think infinitely more humane to have not taken any life saving measures to begin with.  I wouldn't have taken any steps to keep them alive.  It's selfish, and 'playing God' to do so.

People referring to it as 'putting down a dog'...frankly, I think putting a dog to sleep when it has cancer, or is so riddled with senioritis--blindness, deafness, inability to hold pee or poo, paralysis--is much more kinder and humane that just letting it suffer. I think its abomindable to alllow our pets a more humane, dignified, and gracious exit to the next life...but we as humans don't get the same. 
Maybe our pets deserve an easier and more proud exit than we humans do. 

I've always said it was all about money.  The medical community wants to keep people alive as long as they possibly can...and not because they want us to live, because 'life is precious'....it's because they want that money.   And as long as we're breathing--doesn't matter if our brain is dead, if 'elvis has left the building' or not...as long as we're breathing and our hearts are beating...those $$$$$ just keep adding up.  From our survivors, insurance, and Uncle Sam.


taniamorse85
by on Apr. 23, 2012 at 9:03 PM
1 mom liked this

As a person with multiple disabilities, the idea of 'euthanasia' scares the hell out of me.   Where would you draw the line?


I could not possibly 'euthanize' any child of mine.  I would give that child all the love and care I can possibly give him or her, and I would do my best to set up care in the event I am unable to provide care.

bhejlik
by on Apr. 23, 2012 at 9:07 PM

Well, make sure that your entire family knows your wishes and have them written down. Then you won't have anything to worry about.


Quoting whatIknownow:

I hope one day that if I am in a wheelchair, cannot speak and need a feeding tube, no one decides to kill me.


artio.sd
by on Apr. 23, 2012 at 9:07 PM
1 mom liked this
Quoting singlemom1208:




My heart goes out to you. I know how diffcult those choices are. I had to make that choice for my grandmother and my husband. It not an easy thing to do.
bhejlik
by on Apr. 23, 2012 at 9:09 PM

Can I ask why your husband won't do it? Does he think he wouldn't be able to or he just has a moral issue with it? (By the way...totally none of my business if you don't want to anwer!)

Quoting Des10ed2b:

i am actually going to have to have a will written up naming my mother power of attorney in a situation like that. i do NOT want to be kept alive with tubes and feedings and what not. Even though i have told my husband multiple times that my wishes are to be let go, he has told me flat out that he will NOT do it. I know its a million in one chance that i am ever like that, but i do not want money being wasted away on keeping my body alive that could be going to my children's college education and i would rather my childrens memories of me be of me laughing, running, taking them for walks and to the zoo and doing crafts than a memories of a body wasting away in a hospital bed surrounded by machines. 

Quoting Jenn8604:

my family has known for forever i dont wanna machine living for me. ever since thr episode of everwood where colon told andy concerning his brain surgery if im gonna be a vegetable let me go. i said same here.
hopefully ur husband respects ur wishes and lets u go if u were in that position


Quoting Rose87:

My husband and I were discussing this last night. He is torn on the subject and said he does not want to think about it whereas I feel that it is not a quality life. If the person is only alive due to medical machinary, they deserve to live out the rest of their days, medical intervention free, and be with God. I want this for myself. I just pray my husband would actually do it and not go against my wishes.

Quoting Jenn8604:

if my child is going to die unless hooked up to machines I would just let him die. i could never stand to see my very wild hyper son who should be out playing in a bed w machines making his body stay alive. Hed deserve to be free. Hed be free if pain and in Heaven where id see him again. Id let him go and not put him on machines and if the Good Lord decided to preform a miracle and give him back to me then so be it. but i would never hook my son to machines ever. so id never have to pull a plug.




Des10ed2b
by on Apr. 23, 2012 at 9:10 PM

he says even if the chance is a million to 1, it is still a chance and he doesnt want to be the one to take that away. 

Quoting bhejlik:

Can I ask why your husband won't do it? Does he think he wouldn't be able to or he just has a moral issue with it? (By the way...totally none of my business if you don't want to anwer!)

Quoting Des10ed2b:

i am actually going to have to have a will written up naming my mother power of attorney in a situation like that. i do NOT want to be kept alive with tubes and feedings and what not. Even though i have told my husband multiple times that my wishes are to be let go, he has told me flat out that he will NOT do it. I know its a million in one chance that i am ever like that, but i do not want money being wasted away on keeping my body alive that could be going to my children's college education and i would rather my childrens memories of me be of me laughing, running, taking them for walks and to the zoo and doing crafts than a memories of a body wasting away in a hospital bed surrounded by machines. 

Quoting Jenn8604:

my family has known for forever i dont wanna machine living for me. ever since thr episode of everwood where colon told andy concerning his brain surgery if im gonna be a vegetable let me go. i said same here.
hopefully ur husband respects ur wishes and lets u go if u were in that position


Quoting Rose87:

My husband and I were discussing this last night. He is torn on the subject and said he does not want to think about it whereas I feel that it is not a quality life. If the person is only alive due to medical machinary, they deserve to live out the rest of their days, medical intervention free, and be with God. I want this for myself. I just pray my husband would actually do it and not go against my wishes.

Quoting Jenn8604:

if my child is going to die unless hooked up to machines I would just let him die. i could never stand to see my very wild hyper son who should be out playing in a bed w machines making his body stay alive. Hed deserve to be free. Hed be free if pain and in Heaven where id see him again. Id let him go and not put him on machines and if the Good Lord decided to preform a miracle and give him back to me then so be it. but i would never hook my son to machines ever. so id never have to pull a plug.





Proud mom of an ornery 3 year old boy, a very smart 6 year old girl! Married for 4.5 years, together for 7! Fun loving, open-minded, eco-friendly, creative,friendly, different strokes work for different folks, lady! I stay at home, work at home, love it all!


bhejlik
by on Apr. 23, 2012 at 9:11 PM

I don't think anybody is saying a person in a wheelchair who obviously has their faculties intact. These are children in vegetative states with feeding tubes. I'm sure the lady could handle the wheelchair


Quoting PiinkStrawberii:

That lady needs to be shot....... a mother Loves & cares for her kids regardless of any situation. I've been in a wheelchair my whole life & not once did. My mom wish i was better off dead


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