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Single Moms Single Moms

tell me if my hurt is blinding me..

Posted by on Apr. 23, 2012 at 9:58 PM
  • 12 Replies

About two months ago my fiance left me. He moved back in with his mother which was supposed to be temporary while we were having problems. Until he finally decided to give up on everything. I have a 2year old daughter that he practically adopted as his own until he left. He doesn't call, stop by, see her at all. I'm 6 months pregnant with his daughter whom he never calls to check on the baby (which he knows there are potential complications with). We signed a lease on a house a few months ago which he's left all the bills to me. He hasn't helped me with anything and not only that, he's rushing me to move out of the house and find a place to live so he can move back in. Right now I only have a part time job (which he encouraged me to do so I could go back to school, because I could "depend on him"). So I'm trying to find an affordable place to live, which I may have found and if I do have it I can move in in a couple weeks, he's harassing me about paying at least half the month's rent before I go. I'm trying to scrape money together to move out after I've been paying the bills ON MY OWN for the last two months, he makes more money than I do and he hasn't had to pay for ANYTHING for the last two months, oh, and yeah I'M THE MOTHER OF HIS UNBORN CHILD. Is it wrong that I'm bitter at him for not just offering to pay all of the rent so I can use all the money I have to move out and take care of my daughter and go through this pregnancy 100% alone. The only time he's contacted me through all this is to ask about money. I feel so completely alone and I never ever imagined he would be the type to just leave me abandoned like this. I'm having complications with this pregnancy, trying to help my two year old through this period of feeling abandoned AGAIN with another "father", and trying to start my life all over again by myself. I feel like I'm drowning. Anytime I try to talk to my mom about this she just changes the subject. She acts like I'm being selfish....I don't even know what to think anymore...

by on Apr. 23, 2012 at 9:58 PM
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Replies (1-10):
happymommy1105
by Gold Member on Apr. 23, 2012 at 10:00 PM
Bitterness is only going to be met with anger.

Get rid of your bitterness in search of a happier heart.

Your heart is your most precious asset, if it is full of hate, bitterness and anger, your life will be too.
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zoesmommy01
by on Apr. 23, 2012 at 10:02 PM
I don't blame you for being bitter! I'm sort of going through something similar!! My mom is the same except I get the I told you so from her! Lol. Hold your head high and press on! That's pretty much all you can do at this point! I hear it gets better with time! You can message me if you ever need to talk!! :-)
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mandiNthomas
by on Apr. 23, 2012 at 10:03 PM
I'm so sorry! Take him to court for child support when ur baby comes, try to get PA...u are better off with someone like that! Good luck I hope everything gets better!! ((Hugs))
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_megmeg_
by on Apr. 23, 2012 at 10:06 PM
I think that your feelings are valid and he's being an ass expecting you to pull money out nowhere with a part time job and 1.5 kids to support.
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mama_grizz
by on Apr. 23, 2012 at 10:08 PM
Wow... Want to borrow my big burly biker friends? They don't like shithead deadbeats... Sorry hon, I wish the ones that aren't able to be fathers weren't able to make babies. He sounds like bad karma waiting to happen. If I were you, I'd change my number, not give him the new address, and confine communication to email only (then you have proof of every thing) since he's only interested in the money and will probably screw you to get more. Good luck, and try to keep it together for your girls.
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lexsmommaO8
by Bronze Member on Apr. 23, 2012 at 10:11 PM
"the one who angers you, has the most control."

Your still in the fresh stages of separation. You have a right to be mad, but in reality your allowing this man to control you also. Gain the control back - do what YOU need / think is right for yourself and daughters. if you can afford that place, stay and get his name removed from the lease. He's the one who up and left .. not you. He doesn't deserve that house. Limit the phones calls or text messages if there only going to cause triggers. The feeling of abandonment is no fun. i went through the same feelings while I was laying in the hospital bed next to my son when my sons father abandoned us for another girl. Your strong and will make it through this .. Your daughters deserve and need a happy mommy :)


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KeepnItTogethr
by on Apr. 24, 2012 at 9:27 PM

I just feel so overwhelmed...today not only is he harassing me about the rent, apparently he can't even take care of the utilities for ONCE. I need every dollar I can put together. I just have so much going on right now the simplest thing like him complaining about the utilities just set me over the edge. I couldn't even answer him. I wanted to yell at him and just wanted to pour out to him about everything I'm going through. Not being able to find a full time job right in the midst of my pregnancy and dealing with the complications and worrying about moving during all this and needing every dollar and desperately needing a 4 door car before this baby comes with no money. It just seems like he is incapable of not only treating me like the mother of his child but like a human being. he just has totally cut himself off from us and this baby. I'm surprised if once I move if I ever hear from him again. I was driving home tonight and just quietly cried the whole way home so my daughter wouldn't notice....Its the first time I really have been able to just cry about all this.

RosaLeen80
by on Apr. 24, 2012 at 9:45 PM
I'm so sorry you are going through all this. I wouldn't give him a dime. I pray you get a place, move out and leave his sorry ass alone. He'll realize what he lost when he's sitting all alone. I know wht I said is easier said than done, but you can do it.
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ms.sophsmom
by on Apr. 24, 2012 at 10:04 PM
I'm in almost the same position. I'm not working though... I'm working on finding a job so I can either stay here n kick him out or move elsewhere. Thing is everything is mine so ex will have no furniture or food cause I've bought it all. He wants me out then says I shouldn't rush since I've already begun looking for an apartment. I don't plan on paying him anything. He took over the role of breadwinner while I stayed home, he can foot the bill since he wants us gone. These are not men. They are little boys. No MAN abandones his family with little/no resources.
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JakesMom712
by Bronze Member on Apr. 24, 2012 at 10:09 PM
Can i borrow 2? Lol


Quoting mama_grizz:

Wow... Want to borrow my big burly biker friends? They don't like shithead deadbeats... Sorry hon, I wish the ones that aren't able to be fathers weren't able to make babies. He sounds like bad karma waiting to happen. If I were you, I'd change my number, not give him the new address, and confine communication to email only (then you have proof of every thing) since he's only interested in the money and will probably screw you to get more. Good luck, and try to keep it together for your girls.

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