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Don't Judge Me!!!!

Posted by on Apr. 25, 2012 at 9:39 AM
  • 13 Replies
I recently found out I was pregnant for the 2 time in my life... Being 24 and a single parent is hard especially when your 6 yr old daughter doesn't live with you. Seeing my daughter is hard for me because I feel like I have failed her in life and I wish I could go back in time. When I was 17 I was raped by my boyfriend at the time and ended up pregnant, it shook my soul so hard I fell apart. Now, that she lives with my parents' I feel horrible for not being able to take care of her like I should've. Having a mental illness isn't easy let me tell you now plus being a single parent on top of that. I have a friend who's a social worker and she's been telling me I should give rights to my sister who's unable to have children that way my daughter won't be angry with me by keeping the baby in my new apt and not her... It's not that I don't want her, we both have A.D.D and she frustrates me with asking all those questions and the constant whining just drives me insane... I understand I did what was best for my daughter at the time, and now I feel terrible about making that choice. I see it as at least she'll be happier with my parents then always having me yell at her all the time... Seriously don't know what or how to tell anyone how I feel with out getting pissed off for them not understanding.. And no therapy doesn't work I've been trying that for 3 yrs now, and nothing has evolved out of it... I wanna give up and crawl in a hole and hope everything goes away I hate feeling like a failure... FML!!!! Why's my life harder than others
by on Apr. 25, 2012 at 9:39 AM
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Replies (1-10):
ProudMamma1982
by on Apr. 25, 2012 at 9:44 AM
Sorry you feel like this. I have ADD and I could t imagine feeling like you do or being where your at with all thus.........
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Maggie_J87
by on Apr. 25, 2012 at 9:49 AM
It's life I guess and thank you
kittiecat88
by on Apr. 25, 2012 at 9:52 AM
:/ sorry for what's happening :( I don't have any advise but I'm sending hugs your way! Stay strong. Your daughter may feel resentment one day but eventually when she's grown she will understand that u did wat was best 4 her
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Mommyto2LilMen
by Tina on Apr. 25, 2012 at 10:00 AM
So sorry you have to go through this. Do what you feel is in the best interest of you all.
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Maggie_J87
by on Apr. 25, 2012 at 10:00 AM
That's what everyone is saying she's going to resent me but I think if she gets to help with the new baby it won't be that bad... And thank you
Maggie_J87
by on Apr. 25, 2012 at 10:01 AM
Thank you girls very much I really do appreciate your comments...
steviechick
by on Apr. 25, 2012 at 10:53 AM

Don't ever feel bad about your decision to actually TAKE CARE of your daughter.   With a mental illness like yours it's best that someone else take care of your daughter until you can.  And, if you can't take care of her in the future at least you know that someone will.  Your daughter will only resent you for a little while.  It will pass.  Visit her when you can.  Be there for her.  One day she will understand that it was the best choice for her.  You did what was best for her. 

brieri
by on Apr. 25, 2012 at 10:54 AM

 Hi and welcome to the group.  Your not a failure and you must remind yourself that on a daily basis.  Write it on the bathroom mirror with red lipstick, because you have made the best decisions for your oldest daughter.  Perhaps you can find some time and take her out shopping or eat at times alone with permission of your parents. Show some responsiblity.

Maggie_J87
by on Apr. 25, 2012 at 7:44 PM
I see her every so often like if we get her on the wknds but now that softball is starting and soccer Idk if I'll get time with her... Which is sad and my parents trust me with her just not for that long... Which is fine with me whatever time I can get with her is awesome
mommynac
by on Apr. 25, 2012 at 8:30 PM

Have you tried a different therapist? Just like anything else out there, there are good ones and bad ones. As far as having your kids, is this about what's really good for them, or about the idea that somehow you're bad for giving them up? You're not horrible for wanting what's best for your babies. I think it's a positive thing to admit you cannot care for them until you get yourself together.

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