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Your 'Time'?

Posted by on Apr. 25, 2012 at 11:18 AM
  • 10 Replies

Do any of you go through this too?  I'm talking about waiting your time for a SO, a date even?  I belong to a blog with a lot of other women. Most of them are married.  A few are divorced (like me).  Whenever I read about their sex lives or even having a male in their life in general I get a little envious.  I've been divorced from my ex since November of last year.  Prior to that he was active duty.  We barely had sex.   I found out why - because he was having an affair AND had fathered two children with his gf.  I'm VERY happy to have gotten rid of my ex.  He was horrible to me.  BUT, a huge part of me misses the closeness that I once had with him.  It's been hard on me not having a man in my life.  I miss companionship more than anything else.  It's hard to read about the wonderful marriages that my friends have on this blog.  How do you cope in your life?  Besides hoping I get a date soon or hoping to meet Mr. Right, I still feel a sense that my 'time' has to come but when and how do I cope?  I hate this!

by on Apr. 25, 2012 at 11:18 AM
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Replies (1-10):
photogal831
by on Apr. 25, 2012 at 12:01 PM

I'm sorry...I'm really no help...I like being alone (I'm sure that will change) but I could imagine how having to hear about all these happy marriages would be difficult....do you have any male friends? Whenever I got lonely previously, hanging out with my guy friends would always help, just to get a little male attention.

faerie75
by Ruby Member on Apr. 25, 2012 at 12:33 PM

 idk. i felt that way a long time ago but then i just learned to make the best of being single and became happy that way and THEN only THEN did i meet the right guy. i was single 13 years and the last 5 i had more fun than a sorority girl. lol when i met bf i was like "let this fool TRY to tie me down".

brieri
by on Apr. 25, 2012 at 12:44 PM

 I've been divorced for 13 yrs and all of up until last year I was single.  Now, this year I seem to be back to singleness - I don't mind, it's mee time and enjoying the time I have right now to do what I want to do, because hoping next year I have biiiiiiiiiiiiiggggggggggg dreams that come true.

GraLauJon
by on Apr. 25, 2012 at 1:15 PM

i thought of it this way: "I know it CAN happen...but will it?"  then i asked myself, "If my time comes, how will i respond?"  I have not had the relationships i really wanted in my life. so i had to do alot of soul searching and work on that part of myself. in the meantime, i guess we can be content with ourselves but i used to write myself off. like i thought my life was over. and i am older...midlife. 45.  but then i thought, "why do that? ppl get remarried in their 70s!"  so really, i do have to admit i started to change my thinking b/c i felt jealous too.  my thinking was that all the good guys are taken.  there is no one left.  or i thought for some reason i was not allowed to have whate everyone else did.  i have opened my eyes and realize that that isnt true. and i dont feel jealous anymore, but i think b/c i realized i had been writing myself off and was about ready to check into solitary confinement and i had to admit to myself that that is not really what i wanted. and that there really are single men out there who are decent, and now there is a hope that i had given up on. so now, instead of feeling like my life is over i think as if i have a second lease on life.  i do want a life partner again, just like you do.  i read to just do things you enjoy and be you and then if and when someone comes along to be attentive to that.  just dont let a ship pass in the night. 

sophiesister2
by on Apr. 25, 2012 at 2:08 PM
I feel the same way :C
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steviechick
by on Apr. 25, 2012 at 3:23 PM


Quoting photogal831:

I'm sorry...I'm really no help...I like being alone (I'm sure that will change) but I could imagine how having to hear about all these happy marriages would be difficult....do you have any male friends? Whenever I got lonely previously, hanging out with my guy friends would always help, just to get a little male attention.


I have a few male friends that are single - both are divorced.  The one guy is a contractor and works on my home repairs.  I wouldn't hang out with him.  He likes to drink and cuss like a sailor, LOL!  Nothing wrong with social drinking, but then again, I don't drink socially.   Besides, he's not my type to just hang out with.  Close to my age (I'm older by six years).  The other guy mows my lawn and is 20 years younger than me.  He, too, is divorced.  20 years age gap?  Ugh, no! LOL!  Both are nice guys and good catches for any single woman but just not made for me to be friends with socially.  I would consider hanging out with the guy that mows my lawn but I think he has a crush on me already.   I could never be just friends with him.   Take away the 20 year age gap and I would seriously consider a friendship with this guy.  All the other male guys I know that I'm friends with are married.  : ( 

steviechick
by on Apr. 25, 2012 at 3:25 PM


Quoting faerie75:

 idk. i felt that way a long time ago but then i just learned to make the best of being single and became happy that way and THEN only THEN did i meet the right guy. i was single 13 years and the last 5 i had more fun than a sorority girl. lol when i met bf i was like "let this fool TRY to tie me down".


I'm soon to be 48 (next month).  I'd prefer to find someone in the next year because as you get older it is harder to find a date let alone anyone to marry.  But, that's me.  I'm not sure if I want to get married again.  I know that I would have to be in love with my next SO in order to think marriage.  I could just have a SO and be happy not married.

steviechick
by on Apr. 25, 2012 at 3:27 PM


Quoting brieri:

 I've been divorced for 13 yrs and all of up until last year I was single.  Now, this year I seem to be back to singleness - I don't mind, it's mee time and enjoying the time I have right now to do what I want to do, because hoping next year I have biiiiiiiiiiiiiggggggggggg dreams that come true.


I'm not one to be alone for very long periods of time.  I do get tired of sitting home alone on the weekends.  I do plenty of things alone that's nice but it just doesn't fill the void.  Being divorced for 13 years - that would put me well into my late 60's LOL!   I don't want to be single THAT long!  I hope your big dreams do come true!   ; )

steviechick
by on Apr. 25, 2012 at 3:33 PM


Quoting GraLauJon:

i thought of it this way: "I know it CAN happen...but will it?"  then i asked myself, "If my time comes, how will i respond?"  I have not had the relationships i really wanted in my life. so i had to do alot of soul searching and work on that part of myself. in the meantime, i guess we can be content with ourselves but i used to write myself off. like i thought my life was over. and i am older...midlife. 45.  but then i thought, "why do that? ppl get remarried in their 70s!"  so really, i do have to admit i started to change my thinking b/c i felt jealous too.  my thinking was that all the good guys are taken.  there is no one left.  or i thought for some reason i was not allowed to have whate everyone else did.  i have opened my eyes and realize that that isnt true. and i dont feel jealous anymore, but i think b/c i realized i had been writing myself off and was about ready to check into solitary confinement and i had to admit to myself that that is not really what i wanted. and that there really are single men out there who are decent, and now there is a hope that i had given up on. so now, instead of feeling like my life is over i think as if i have a second lease on life.  i do want a life partner again, just like you do.  i read to just do things you enjoy and be you and then if and when someone comes along to be attentive to that.  just dont let a ship pass in the night. 


I had only one relationship in my life that I thought would last forever - even when I knew I had a lot of work to do TO try and fix my guy.  26 years with one guy that's very hard to get over.  Even though he treated me like crap for many years.  You are set in life moreso to speak after 24 even 25 years with the same man, right?  Well, that never happened to me.  You would think after 26 years with someone BOTH of you are meant to be together.  Longevity and a relationship that lasts that long how can it come to a complete hault?  I have a lot to offer just about any man.  I, like you, don't want to confine myself to just being with me.  I have a great personality, outgoing, full of life, good natured, honest and decent.  Plus, I can talk about any subject, loves sports, am very knowledgable about current events and political events.  I can keep a conversation going.  What more could a guy ask for, right?   I hope to have a second lease on life.  I dont' want to sound vain but I DO have a lot to offer any guy.  I just met the wrong guy and seemed to hold on to what I thought was a 'good' marriage.  Something worth fighting for you know?   There has to be good guys left - just look at the two I mentioned earlier.   Both of them had their ladies walk out on them.  Good and decent guys that just snagged the wrong person.   If they are out there to 'snag' then there certainly is good guys to 'snag'.  I just wish I could find someone close to my age.   I know my 'time' is coming.  I guess I'm wanting it to come a lot sooner than later.

Great comments, GraLau!  ; )

brieri
by on Apr. 25, 2012 at 3:45 PM

 I am not alone all the time - I had some family that I visit from time to time during those years.  I did grieve fro  along time because I lost my kids to a btiter and costly custody case, I lost a good paying job about 1 yr after I lost my kids.  I've been on a dating site, met some wonderful guys there.  It' wasn't til last year I met one - he just totally opened my eyes to something bigger and brighter, something I have always wanted to do, and even though I don't see him much right now, that may change in the near future (fingers crossing)  Yes, I do agree it does get lonely at times.  Especially, now that I don't have as great of job as I did once before, I do have hobbies and have more time to myself.  the downer part for me was to get over the fact that I will never probably see my kids again, but I want to do something special for them as well as future generations of children. So in case my kids decide they want to come back and visit me, I will have something to talk them about.  I'm sorry, I can't speak about it on the "net"  it's a private affair.

Quoting steviechick:

 

Quoting brieri:

 I've been divorced for 13 yrs and all of up until last year I was single.  Now, this year I seem to be back to singleness - I don't mind, it's mee time and enjoying the time I have right now to do what I want to do, because hoping next year I have biiiiiiiiiiiiiggggggggggg dreams that come true.


I'm not one to be alone for very long periods of time.  I do get tired of sitting home alone on the weekends.  I do plenty of things alone that's nice but it just doesn't fill the void.  Being divorced for 13 years - that would put me well into my late 60's LOL!   I don't want to be single THAT long!  I hope your big dreams do come true!   ; )

 

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