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Dating. . . Do I tell my sons dad? Help

Posted by on Apr. 25, 2012 at 12:01 PM
  • 12 Replies

So my sons father and I split up a few months back. I recently started dating an old flame. We are extremely happy together and he absolutlely adores my son. I have an unsettled feeling about telling my sons dad about my new relationship. I am afraid that if I do so, it may ruin any stability that we have for our son. What, When and how do I tell him? Or should I even tell him at all? Same with my family, I am really unsure of when to bring him around to meet everyone and actually say that I am dating someone. Help please!!

by on Apr. 25, 2012 at 12:01 PM
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Replies (1-10):
photogal831
by on Apr. 25, 2012 at 12:08 PM

Personally I wouldn't have had him meet your son until after talking to your ex...are you and your ex on good terms? Imo anything before 6 months is too soon. Unfortunately I would tell him....he may get upset....but if the tables were turned....wouldn't you?

EyansMom143
by on Apr. 25, 2012 at 12:20 PM

We are on very good terms, and I trusted by BF in meeting my son because we have a long history together of over 6 years.  I wouldn't mind if my sons dad brought someone around my son as long as they treat him with respct and I told him that. When he is with him, I trust that he makes a good judgment. I'm just trying to figure out how to tell him, because of the friendship and civil relationship we have.

raegan1221
by on Apr. 25, 2012 at 12:24 PM

 Well..for myself personally..I only told my ex about my boyfriend. He is the only who met our son. I told him about him before he met our son. That's the agreement we had is that we would meet each other's gf/bf if they are going to be around Brayden. We had an incident of his ex gf going kind psychotic on all 3 of us. To me, things are more at ease and understanding when you can speak like that. But that also depends on how good of terms you are with your ex. If you're on good terms, just let him know..be like "hey, just fyi..i am dating so and so"..maybe even let them meet.

MeeshMom
by on Apr. 25, 2012 at 12:26 PM
I think you should wait till things get more serious. It's none of your ex's business unless you're bringing him around your kid. Do unto him as youd hope he will do unto you.
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stormystar15
by on Apr. 25, 2012 at 12:28 PM
Im not on good terms with my kids father so if/when i start dating some one its none of his buisness until he actually tries to be there for the boys.
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EyansMom143
by on Apr. 25, 2012 at 12:28 PM

@ Raegan1221- I guess I should furthermore explain my sons dad. He is a very headstrong type of guy, he make a lot of threats when it comes to me dating, as far as he'll beat the next guy up and he don't want anyone around my son period. I keep trying to explain to him that i would one day meet someone and this would have to be dealt with. We are on civil terms as far as when he has our son, when I have our son. His mom also watches our son and she thinks one day we will work things out. I am afraid if I tell them, things will take a turn for the worst on my end.

brieri
by on Apr. 25, 2012 at 12:33 PM

 Hi and welcome to the group. Do you plan on getting married to this guy soon? 

EyansMom143
by on Apr. 25, 2012 at 12:39 PM

Not super soon, we have talked about it though. Like I mentioned, we have known eachother for quite some time and want to build a future together. Maybe even have a baby down the road.

brieri
by on Apr. 25, 2012 at 12:54 PM

 As you stated in the above your ex is headstrong and makes threats, wouldn't say much about it til you are getting closer to a wedding date (when that exists) - that's whan you might want to tell him.  As far your parents go - you can introduce him when you feel is the right time.

EyansMom143
by on Apr. 25, 2012 at 12:59 PM

Thanks! The only thing that makes me want to tell him is if I happen to run into someone he knows while I am out with my new BF. I think it would be better to tell him before someone else does, but like I said I'm really unsettled in how to do so without messing things up. This has always been my problem, trying to make sure everyone else is happy.  

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