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Custody, Visitation and Support Mediation

Posted by on Apr. 25, 2012 at 9:03 PM
  • 2 Replies

 Can anyone tell me what to expect in mediation for custody, visitation and support? I'm in Virginia if anyone has experience there.

I've talked to other people but they either didn't have mediation (it is required here) or their mediation lasted just a few minutes because they or the child's other parent wouldn't even try to agree to anything.

My scenario...

Her father and I have already agreed on vistation and custody, but then every time he gets mad at me he threatens to get full custody and not let me see her...but once he calms down he agrees that I should have custody and he should have visitation. Support we are not in agreement AT ALL on. (As in, I think I should receive a set monthly amount and he thinks everytime I need something I should call him and ask for it.)

by on Apr. 25, 2012 at 9:03 PM
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sllytnkrbl
by on Apr. 25, 2012 at 9:12 PM

 I don't know about Virginia, I am in Rhode Island.  In our mediation during the first session we dealt with the kids first - we already knew what days we each had agreed to and where the kids would be most of the time and who would be making major decisions regarding the kids - we had agreed on support as well but RI has minimum requirements based on income and we have to have those written into the final arrangements.  We then moved on to assets because the kids went so fast, after assets we had to agree on division of finances, life insurance, property etc.   We managed to get it all done in two sessions (1 hour each) but we had discussed everything beforehand and had no arguments.   The mediator explained the legal implications of all our decisions and made us aware of alternatives - she then explained that our state believes in equal division of assets so to not have a 50/50 division we have to back up our decisions because the court will question them to insure neither of us was coaxed into making an ill decision.   I found the mediation very easy.   I don't know if Virginia has rules in regards to support - some states have minimums like mine, others do not - I would look into how support works in your state so that you can be informed before heading to mediation - the mediator will inform you anyway if he/she is good at their job but it doesn't hurt to be armed with the facts before you go especially if your ex switches gears based on his mood at the time.

Jeni1124
by on Apr. 25, 2012 at 9:19 PM

 I hope he's in a good mood!!!

Virginia has guidelines that can be used or not used. The guidelines are income based. According to those guidelines he'd be ordered to pay about $400/month if we didn't include daycare/medical as support and left that separate or $550/month if we did include daycare/medical as an all inclusive payment.

We don't have major property to divide (appliances, dishes, furniture...but no home, car, etc.), we don't have assets to divide,

Quoting sllytnkrbl:

 I don't know about Virginia, I am in Rhode Island.  In our mediation during the first session we dealt with the kids first - we already knew what days we each had agreed to and where the kids would be most of the time and who would be making major decisions regarding the kids - we had agreed on support as well but RI has minimum requirements based on income and we have to have those written into the final arrangements.  We then moved on to assets because the kids went so fast, after assets we had to agree on division of finances, life insurance, property etc.   We managed to get it all done in two sessions (1 hour each) but we had discussed everything beforehand and had no arguments.   The mediator explained the legal implications of all our decisions and made us aware of alternatives - she then explained that our state believes in equal division of assets so to not have a 50/50 division we have to back up our decisions because the court will question them to insure neither of us was coaxed into making an ill decision.   I found the mediation very easy.   I don't know if Virginia has rules in regards to support - some states have minimums like mine, others do not - I would look into how support works in your state so that you can be informed before heading to mediation - the mediator will inform you anyway if he/she is good at their job but it doesn't hurt to be armed with the facts before you go especially if your ex switches gears based on his mood at the time.

 

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