Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Single Moms Single Moms

How would you handle YOUR 4 year old?

Posted by   + Show Post

DD has been hell lately. That is the best way I can put it. I live with my grandma because she needs help with keeping up with her home and I need a baby sitter when I work because I work 13 and 14 hour shifts 7 days on and 7 days off with no breaks. My gma video recorded DD a few days in a row and showed me what she is doing. Because DD eats at school in the morning she doesnt eat breakfast at home, well DD was hungry and my gma was giving her some crackers that DD likes a lot and dd took them then THREW them on the counter and told her "I don't want that I want oatmeal and I want you to make it now!" and screamed that at her. She told her No. Which I would have done and more...so when she came home from school she wanted a snack. Ok, she wanted an apple, we were out. So gma asked her if she wanted some pretezls to hold her over and she took some and went to her room to play, came back out with them and yelled again, "Do not give me these again I hate them and I will not eat them" Then threw them on the floor and walked away. This isn't all but I don't want to make this long. I have no idea what to do. I showed DD all the recordings to find out what she thought and to explain what in the hell she thought she was doing. All she said was I don't know and left the room. I spank, and she doesn't act like that for me. My gma tries to spank but doesnt like to. She will if that happens with all the yelling at her and throwing things at her because gma tells her to go to time out and DD runs from her. She has to try and chase her down and then DD gets under the beds and laughs at her for doing it. Me I have gotten her for acting that way with me and she doesn't anymore. But she does give me a really hard time. I have told her she better not act like that anymore or she is in so much trouble. I told her kids that act like can be in trouble with the police but nothing works. My gma has sat down with her and has talked with her and it doesn't work. DD is an only child and is not around kids that act like that.....even in school. 
Problem number 2: Last one I hope. lol
DD is VERY friendly. She loves to talk to people and be nice to others outside of our house. She goes up to random guys and says Hi my name is Kaile and I'm 4 whats your name? I have told her not to and gone on about stranges and they can take her and she wont see us again and can get hurt soooooooooo many times. She cries about me telling her because I kinda go a little deep into it but then it has been not even 10mins later and she is back doing it. Someone is always out side with her and it happens soooo fast I have no idea anymore. She tells me that because they wave back to her or say hi they are nice and her friends. I don't know how much more clear I can get with her and her to listen. What would you ladies do on these 2 problems??? I need help. 

by on Apr. 27, 2012 at 4:47 PM
Replies (31-33):
KailesMommy
by on May. 1, 2012 at 4:35 PM
Well then maybe its not that then huh. Idk I'm just not sure what to do.

Quoting Mom2Ayden0406:

My son doesnt have a dad around either and he does not act anything like you described.


Quoting KailesMommy:


Yea that may be what I'm gonna have to do. I feel sooo bad for spanking her and her getting in trouble so much. And its only because she doesn't have a dad around and I wonder if she is trying to reach out for attention. But thank you, I gotta try something and see what I can do. 


Quoting faerie75:


 your gramma needs to be more firm but if she cant, then i would spank her little ass when i got home if you spank her already. gramma should take her by the hands and MAKE her clean what she threw adn put her in time out. if she runs away, then you do it and or spank her when you get home. 


im not saying that this is the right way but i told my kids about molesters when they were little. i mean EXACTLY what they do. and that they didnt ALWAYS have to be nice to adults, they could run away if they were afraid. they were deathly afraid of strangers for a long time and stayed the hell away.





Posted on CafeMom Mobile
KailesMommy
by on May. 1, 2012 at 4:41 PM
Well dd used to be an angel. I never used to have a problem with her like this. This has all started in Dec. So idk what's going on. Nothing big or anything I can think of happened. The only thing that happened back in Dec is that we thought our dog was prego and we were wrong. But bc of that and her always asking and getting upset that she wasn't prego we got a puppy and its hers. We just got the pup about 2 weeks ago. And it kinda got better once we got the dog. But my kid was never like this. Its strange.

Quoting MamasaurusPrime:

Me neither.

DS sounds like an angel compared to OP's dd, lmfao! There HAS to be something else going on that she's unaware of, or not telling us!

Quoting Mom2Ayden0406:

My son doesnt have a dad around either and he does not act anything like you described.


Posted on CafeMom Mobile
StephMarie_Mom
by on May. 1, 2012 at 6:53 PM
I can understand that. I'm just suggesting that perhaps she's misbehaving because of minimal mommy and me time. My daughter sometimes misbehaves when she doesn't get enough time with me. I'm not sure how you can change this other than to spend as much time as possible. Maybe doing special things together at night before bed, let her stay up late maybe and do a mommy and me treat? But I'd really recommend some sort of family counseling as it sounds like there's another underlying issue


Quoting KailesMommy:

Well I wasn't getting snappy. Sry you both took it that way. But yea I'm gonna have to try it. Problem is I have no control over my work. I'm lucky to be full time. I work 7 days on and 7 days off and get over time sometimes. I work 14 hr shifts I'm gone before she gets up to the min its bed time. So its pretty hard and I don't have enought pto time to even take a 14 hr shift off yet. I only get 4 hrs a paycheck.



Quoting StephMarie_Mom:

All it is is a board, like a dry erase board or a small bulletin board and you get a pack of star shaped stickers and set a goal of however many stickers before she gets a treat. Once she receives the proper amount of stickers than she gets that treat. It's the same concept that 5bmom uses w/her cards.





Also, if nothing seems to work with disciplining your kid, you may want to look into family counseling as there may be a deeper issue here. There may be some free or state funding program for family counseling if you look into it for your area.





Also, please don't be so snappy. I understand it's frustrating. I was just commenting back to an idea that a parent gave you, not necessarily giving an all out idea as that seemed to have already been done.





Lastly, your daughter may just need some quality mom time since you work such an odd schedule. My daughter sometimes acts out when we don't spend enough time together because of my work schedule.





Good luck!






Quoting KailesMommy:

This may sound dumb but I need an idea of how to do it please and thank you. That may work for her to actually see that she is doing it and what not.







Quoting StephMarie_Mom:

That's a great idea! Kind of reminds me of the old gold star deal an elementary teacher I had once used to do with us. Once we received so many stars, we got a treat.










Quoting 5BMom:

What I do are reward cards. Good behavior gets 1 card on the bulletin board. Bad behavior get 1-3 cards taken away. When they get 20 cards, thet get a new toy of their choice (I limit it to like $10). It seems to work...they are almost 4 and 5.












Quoting KailesMommy:

How did you get your kids to respect you and not pull that behavior with you?

We don't like in a good neighborhood, we aren't that lucky and have no choice, we can't move right now. lol

Quoting 5BMom:

My 4 year old is super friendly. He tells everyone his name and his life story, lol. We live in a small, safe resort town and within that, a private neighborhood, so I don't worry too much to be honest.













Not sure about the other behavior. My kids have both pulled it with me but no one else.






Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)