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I don't think I can make it work *update*

Posted by on Apr. 28, 2012 at 10:55 PM
  • 18 Replies

So M and I have been going really good but 2 weekends ago he decided to tell me that he has fallen for me. I freaked out. I have not fallen for him. I am not even falling for him. I like him, a lot. I told him that I felt like we needed to slow down because this is too much too soon and I am no where near there. He freaked out thinking that I had one foot out there door and I kind of did. So anyways, somehow, after talking to my friends and thinking about it I decided that I would probably get to that point after he met this kids, he still hasn't met them yet. Then he started going all super sweet. I can totally handle super sweet, to an extent. Everytime we spoke, saw each other, texted, whatever. I was greeted by, I miss you. I missed you. I like you! You are great! You are beautiful! I am so happy! So on and so forth and I mean I got an I missed you everytime I put him on hold so I could use the toilet or answer a call from my grandma or something. I had to talk to him about it 3 times to get him to understand that it was too much. The first time I spoke to him about it was after he told me that he had fallen for me (and yes he meant love, he made that very clear.). The 2nd time was a few days ago and he started getting all sad about it and I felt bad so I gave up on it. Then I talked to him about it tonight when I got off work. I called him and just told him how it was. That is when HE reminded me that this is the 3rd time I have tried to talk to him about it. That makes me mad that it took 3 times for me to try and explain it to him that it was bugging me. 

Today, without me texting him, he sent me 9 texts in 20 minutes. All saying the things I have listed already. I never responded. I didn't talk to him till I got out of work. The firls at my work think that he maybe kind of stalkerish. I don't think that because this is his first relationship and I think he is just unsure of how to do things. I don't know. My best friend thinks that he super sweet and I am over reacting. 

So then he said that I was confusing him because I told him that I enjoyed it so much when he started being sweet to me. Of course I did! All I usually got at the time was teasing! It was a great change! I loved it. But I don't love it enough to hear it ALL the time. I tried to explain that to him and how I can also only handle so much teasing before it becomes too much or I just become over it. 

I explained to him 2 or 3 times that everything is ok in small doses. 

The whole conversation sucked and I am so stuck on the fact that I had to try and get things across to him SEVERAL times before he understood. I don't know that I want this anymore. 


Even now, he has started texting me. We got off the phone to think about it all. He is texting me how sorry he is, I don't doubt it. He wants me to call him so we can talk about it. I don't want to call him. I just want to go to bed and relax and think about it all. I told him that he needed to let me think and I can tell he is getting all sad again. 

So what do you all think? Am I over reacting or do I have every right to be feeling the way I do? 

Advice would be great. Thanks! 


*****************

So after a shower this morning I started thinking about how much I had been enjoying our relationship minus the whole issue of clingyness. So I called him and laid out a bunch of rules and what not. Not talking so much no more super sweetness all the time so on and so forth. Well, I am beginning to think that it didn't sink in. I got off the phone with him because DS tripped and got upset. I just said "I gotta let you go. I'll talk to you later!" Once I got DS calmed down I made myself some lunch and started working on the laundry. Then DD woke up from her nap so I decided that I wasn't going to call him back till later. He texted me and I texted him back it was all fine and dandy but then I started to get kind of like told me that I a play by play of what he was doing. I stopped texting him. I don't even want to talk to him tonight. As far as I am concerned I don't want to talk to him tomorrow either. I wanted to try it out for a week and see if it could work but dang I just don't think I can do it. My friend told me that I should talk to him about not contacting each other for like 2 weeks and if we are cool about the fact that we haven't talked to each other that there is no point being together. He already asked me out for next weekend and I told him I would go but now I don't think I want to. I am starting to think that all that I like about him is the fact that he was offering me a complete family and more than willing to help me fulfill my dreams. I think I need a few more opinions cause I just don't know. majority is that he is clingy and almost stalkerish. There are a few who think that it is just because it is his first relationship. I don't know what to do. Everytime I take some time to think about it I am not that in to it. I feel like jerk because I was so into it until just a couple days ago... well I guess I really started pulling away when he told me he had fallen for me. I don't know how to make this a good break. I think I want to do it over the phone because I don't want to see him if he cries.... I can't handle that. 

by on Apr. 28, 2012 at 10:55 PM
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Replies (1-10):
mommynac
by on Apr. 28, 2012 at 11:01 PM
2 moms liked this

I can give you my impression--I would probably leave it alone. Sounds like he's needy, or controling or something. I really wouldn't have time for that kind of drama. Especially as a single mama ; ) It's work already and you're not even in love with the guy!

rebmarie90
by on Apr. 29, 2012 at 7:09 AM
bump
rebmarie90
by on Apr. 29, 2012 at 8:05 AM
Bump
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animebuddy
by Platinum Member on Apr. 29, 2012 at 8:58 AM
You don't really like him and he sounds incredibly needy. All of what he does would annoy me and I would end things.
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LyndaLoo78
by Bronze Member on Apr. 29, 2012 at 9:26 AM
Needy "grown ups" annoy the crap out of me. As a single mom we have needy kids to tend to; I require a M.A.N. not one more person who neeeeeeeeds me. *vomit*

Quoting animebuddy:

You don't really like him and he sounds incredibly needy. All of what he does would annoy me and I would end things.
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kayakchick
by on Apr. 29, 2012 at 9:28 AM

That would freak me out!

kitty068
by Member on Apr. 29, 2012 at 11:04 AM

How old is he? How long have you been dating him?  He sounds like a sappy teenager.  Keep your other options open girl and move in super slow motion with this one.

photogal831
by on Apr. 29, 2012 at 12:26 PM
Well in all honesty yes he seems a bit needy...but you said this is his first relationship...so you can't really expect someone who knows what to do...kwim? he seems sweet but if its too much for you then stop it now because obviously he has feelings for you
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rebmarie90
by on Apr. 29, 2012 at 1:11 PM


Quoting kitty068:

How old is he? How long have you been dating him?  He sounds like a sappy teenager.  Keep your other options open girl and move in super slow motion with this one.

23 since feb of this year. I have an update in a little bit. 

rebmarie90
by on Apr. 29, 2012 at 1:15 PM
1 mom liked this


Quoting photogal831:

Well in all honesty yes he seems a bit needy...but you said this is his first relationship...so you can't really expect someone who knows what to do...kwim? he seems sweet but if its too much for you then stop it now because obviously he has feelings for you

Thats what my mom and dad kept pointing out to me. So after I had a shower and really thought about it all and he had a chance to think about it all I have come to the conclusion that I do like him and I want this to work. I told him that if it doesn't change I am done and walking away and he said that he is willing to slow it down and what not. Things eem to be good right now. We have slowed it down and I have told him that meeting the kids has been put on the back burner because I have to be sure that things don't go back to freaking me out. We had a nice long talk about it all where I wasn't getting annoyed and frustrated. 

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