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Alone, depressed and unsupportive family....why?

Posted by on Apr. 29, 2012 at 12:55 AM
  • 25 Replies

I am a mom to a wonderful 2 year old daughter and separated from my abusive husband.I get no emotional support from my family and they are totally uninvolved in my life and see nothing wrong with it. It hurts a lot. I see all the other moms that dont even need as much support and company, because they have nice husbands who they live with, and my family is cold as ice to me. They think its normal and I am being demanding by asking that they visit or babysit, etc. My sister who lives about 35 minutes away wont even visit because she is wrapped in her own life (single not married no children) and just sees my daughter on holidays basically. My mother who lives 5 minutes away will watch my daughter 2x week for 2 hrs each and stresses that I cannot leave her longer because she gets too tired watching her. Nobody ever buys my daughter toys, clothes, anything, not that they have to , but she is the only child, 1st grandchild, and I see all my friends families going above and beyond. My family doesnt even know what size she is, what she likes, etc. I always shop alone for her, nobody takes any interest at all.My father (parents divorced) wont watch my daughter unless his wife (dont like or trust her) does all the work since he says he "does not have talent to change diapers " and has never in his life changed one. So the only one that watches my daughter for those few hrs a week is my mom and she makes sure to tell me what a favor she is doing me whenever she gets a chance.

Emotionally they are horrible. I called my sister after my husband punched me in the head in the car while my daughter (who was a little baby at the time) was in the car and she said why does it have to be about me, why dont I ask how she is (always used to be there for her a lot!),  and why should I get all the attention and have so much drama in my life. Yes, my own sisters reaction to knowing her sister is being abused. I text her to say I am lonely and that my daughter could use an aunt and I can use a sister right now, and she basically tells me to stop bothering her and stop keep asking her to come (basically never comes). I just want her to come over for coffee, visit with her niece. We are alone all the time.My mother wont let my daughter take a nap at her house "there is no room for her" (she owns a 3 bedroom house) and wont let me use her washing machine when mine broke "go to a public laundromat" , wouldnt let my daughter and me come over when our ac broke in 90 degree weather, wouldnt let us in when our power went off, and the list goes on and on....

There is nobody that can even realte to this. Even people with bad husbands at least have some family to speak to, go to. I have no one. And the funny thing is that I was always the one to go out of my way for all of them. Now I am a mom and my daughter is my top priority so I am of no use to them it seems. Wish they would be there for me, even a little bit. I walk around hurt all the time..

Does anyone else have a similar situation? It seems like not...

by on Apr. 29, 2012 at 12:55 AM
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Replies (1-10):
by on Apr. 29, 2012 at 1:45 AM

 Dsylexic families - wanna be friends???

by on Apr. 29, 2012 at 1:48 AM
2 moms liked this

i think you should find some battered women support groups. Make some friends. If your family are going to act like a bunch of ass holes then you don't need them. My mother is so excited about her first grandchild, she acts like shes about to pee on herself every time I mention anything to do with my pregnancy so they are not being normal and you do not have to put up with it. Family isn't the only support group you have.

by on Apr. 29, 2012 at 2:18 AM
Sorry for what your going thru its sad we don't get to choose our families all I can is surround your self with pple that care n love you n your baby God made friends to replace the family that we don't have try to meet pple in your area n set up play dates etc wish you nothing but the best I'm here for ya
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by on Apr. 29, 2012 at 2:47 AM
I'm sorry that your family makes you feel that way :/ You can message me whenever
by on Apr. 29, 2012 at 3:24 AM
1 mom liked this
Yes but im not writing about it on here
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by on Apr. 29, 2012 at 7:36 AM

Yup. I have family that has nothing to do with me & live 5 minutes away. It's not entirely abnormal.

by on Apr. 29, 2012 at 9:43 AM
Me to when I lived in the area. Im 25 hours away from them now.
by on Apr. 29, 2012 at 10:01 AM

Thank you so much for your supportive comments. Yes I have made friends with other moms that have kids my daughter age and I go out of my way to make frequent playdates so my daughter and I have people around us that are kind. But it is not the same and although definitely helpful (I would have gone crazy from loneliness by now if not-stay at home mom and just me and my baby all day night every day), an hour or two here and there is not the same. Weekends are hard because those moms want to be with their husbands and families of course. And every time my daughter and I visit them or we even talk, I see the huge differences in our lives and I am so so sad that my daughter does not have the doting families all the other kids have and that at this most important and joyful (yes my daughter is my joy of my life) time in my life nobody is there to see or share it with us. Whenever we come home from a friends warm, family-filled loving home into my little lonely apartment with my daughter, it is all I can do but just break down crying. My mother does call and leaves me terrible messages on my voicemail telling me how I am such a horrible person expecting things from my family, and all sorts of really vile comments.. My sister doesnt want me to bother her so she put a block on her phone from my phones, so whenever my daughter asks to speak to and that she misses her, she cannot even call her (and she never ever has called my daughter). My soon to be ex husband is a whole other story- he curses, abuses threatens etc....I have no peace in my life yet I try my best to put a smile on my face for my daughter. I think she may feel that I am sad hough. The other day she came up and said Mommy are you sad? And gave me a kiss on my cheek and said "all better?".....she is the sunshine of my life. And I feel so sad that I cannot give her a warm family to show her the love she deserves.

by Member on Apr. 29, 2012 at 10:35 AM
Yes, I am in your shoes. Those warm loving families make me cry also.
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by on Apr. 29, 2012 at 10:38 AM
My family sucks too.....sorry for what ur going thru message me anytime u need to vent.
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