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My son is having a hard time...

Posted by on May. 2, 2012 at 9:14 AM
  • 12 Replies
with my boyfriend. My son is almost 12 yrs old and he expressed himself to me about my boyfriend. He said that he wasn't ready to meet him, he said he doesn't want me to get hurt...So, we are just giving him his space and respecting his feeling. I been divorce x 3 yrs and this is the first time he sees me with someone else beside his dad. My boyfriend and I have plans to get married in a yr. My question is: any of you been in the same situation before? Any advice ? Thanks
by on May. 2, 2012 at 9:14 AM
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Replies (1-10):
LifeCafe42
by Nora on May. 2, 2012 at 9:27 AM
I had a hard d time with my moms boyfriend and even now they are married and I still don't like him. Yes I know I'm 28 so I respect her decision and will love her but she also respects that we don't go to her
house. If you guys are getting married in a year I think its time to sit down and talk. Let him know bf is going to be a part of your family you will always have a bond but it is time for them to meet and get to know each other. It wont be easy or quick good luck
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vanessa19120
by on May. 2, 2012 at 9:32 AM
Thanks lifecafe42! Yes, I already told the plans and he just said give me time-it's not that I dn't like him - I just need to get used to it.
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LexRi0709
by on May. 2, 2012 at 9:34 AM
1 mom liked this
I agree with pp. Talk to him and keep the communication lines open. Maybe they can go do some "boy stuff" for a little bit and get to know each other a little better
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steviechick
by Gold Member on May. 2, 2012 at 10:24 AM
2 moms liked this

Since you are engaged and won't be married for a year use that year for the finance' to get to know his future step-son.  Encourage 'guy' time between the two.   Perhaps your fiance' and your son can do the things that your son likes to do?  Bonding?  I would first start out with open dialogue.  Your son needs to start to feel comfortable around your bf first before anything else.  It's the not knowing of someone that your son feels.  Sooner or later he will start to like your bf just like you do.

LancesMom
by on May. 2, 2012 at 10:29 AM
1 mom liked this

welcomeNice to meet you!

mommynac
by on May. 2, 2012 at 2:36 PM

I would probably introduce them sooner rather than later. But for me, after that, if DS did not like my BF, it would be a deal breaker for me.

brieri
by on May. 2, 2012 at 4:36 PM
Hi and welcome to the group. Make some time alone with him to sit down and talk about his fears and what he's feeling about this new man in your life. Realize he is 12 yrs old and he has had you all to himself for the past 3 years. Put yourself in his shoes and think of how you would feel if he brought home a new girlfriend say within the next year.
MeeshMom
by Platinum Member on May. 2, 2012 at 4:46 PM
I think that the kid and the bd should at least both like each other before making a big decision like that. Me personally I wouldn't date a guy that my son didn't like. But being that your son is older he probably has a harder time than a younger kid does to adjusting. Let them get to know each other and spend time together for shorter periods to start and then plan something fun on a longer day like a theme park. Let him have space but encourage some bonding time.
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happymommy1105
by Gold Member on May. 2, 2012 at 4:48 PM
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Honestly I wouldn't start making plans to marry somebody my kid hadn't met.

I would encourage my son to spend time with my man and maybe send them to a ball game.together.
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raegan1221
by Raegan on May. 2, 2012 at 4:50 PM
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Aww your son sounds sweet. That's so neat that he really considers you and is genuinly concerned for you. You guys must be really close. My son is only 6 and a half years old and bf and I have been together since he was barely 4.  So obviously very different..the only thing that I think is to take it easy and ease him in...like maybe yall could do something together once a week? I am not sure if that' dbe too much. Sorry I don't have much advice for you!

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