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would u say this to your child?

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If your child comes up to and keeps asking where is my dad why isn't he here does he love me? And if the father hasn't been around would u say yes he loves you enough to do what is best for you and to not be here bc he isn't ready. What do u think?
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by on May. 2, 2012 at 9:19 AM
Replies (21-30):
DixieL
by on May. 2, 2012 at 5:01 PM

I believe you do what is best for your child. If you tell the truth your child might think it is his fault that his father isn't there and he might be hurt. You say whatever you have to say so that you don't hurst your child. That is my opinion

animebuddy
by Platinum Member on May. 3, 2012 at 5:14 AM
I wouldn't lie or make up excuses for him.
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annangel87
by on May. 3, 2012 at 7:27 AM
Thats a good question my are kids are really young n dont know what to tell them if they asked either excepy ur daddy cant he here right now its better then what he told me what to say ( he dont want to see u cause mommy wanted a divorce) how aful is that. Just go by ur instincs of what to say even if u tell her the truth like ur daddy is not ready to be a daddy yet so he let mommy be the daddy n mommy just for u
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fullxbusymom
by on May. 3, 2012 at 10:11 AM

Yup I would say exactly those words!!

txangelco84
by on May. 3, 2012 at 10:25 AM

I tell my girls that dad loves them but doesnt know how to show it. Sometimes dad can't be around because he isn't ready to be a dad yet. That is what I tell my girls. Its been over 4 years since their father has seen them. I have heard every excuse as to why he hasnt seen them.

LovinLiv
by on May. 3, 2012 at 10:33 AM
1 mom liked this
The times dd has asked why she doesn't have a daddy I told her that she does have a daddy but he wasn't ready to be a daddy yet but that its okay because mommy loves her so much she can love her enough for both a mommy and daddy. Then I also go through and name several people that love her. She's met him before but so few times she doesn't remember him.
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mitchiesgirl
by on May. 3, 2012 at 10:35 AM

If I were in that position, I would say he wasn't ready to be a dad but there are so many other people in your life that love you so much (give examples). No need for specifics until he's older-if he cares to know.

(On a side note: in my case I would never bring my son's father back in his life. If he really wanted to meet him, it would have to be when he is at least 16- maybe older depending on his maturity level)

zmama22
by on May. 3, 2012 at 11:29 AM


Quoting crzctl8de:

All I can do is speak from personal experience.  My daughter asked all the time when she was younger, expecially since she was awaire of her half siblings who he was involved with.   I eventually told her a variation of that when she looked at me at about 5 and said "don't lie to me, if he actually loved me he would be here"  As she has grown she has had good male role models in other relatives and could give a flying leap about him now.  She is almost 17 and even though he calls about once a week, she says "he doesn't know me, It's his loss, not mine."

you've done a great job with her.

Jenny_Penny89
by on May. 3, 2012 at 12:11 PM

 Hm... Idk...  :(  Sounds good to me though

NananRaysmom
by Bronze Member on May. 3, 2012 at 12:54 PM
I would do what my mom did...your dad loves you but he's having a hard time right now and is unable to visit. I don't know why it would need much explaining...but I would always reinforce how much the kids dad loves them..true or not...I would never want my kids to feel bad.
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