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Help, I have two irresponsible adults influencing my son!!!

Posted by on May. 2, 2012 at 7:38 PM
  • 7 Replies

Hello all,

I'm new at this, but I needed an outlet to express my feelings. I already go to individual therapy but just can't get my emotions in check. My son just turned 5, his father and I have never been married and it's been about three years since we've broken up. The problem I am having now is with him and his new girlfriend. See, even when we were together he never gave his all with raising our son. Two years ago, he agreed to giving me primary physical custody and sole legal custody without so much as a flinch. Now with this new girlfriend in the picture, all of a sudden its a show to percieve himself as a good dad whose trying to be with his son. He gets to see him twice a week for a total of 10 hours. He does not give me child support because the last time I filed for it, they told me he did not make enough for them to do anything. I tried to make arrangements outside of court and his response was " for what"? Since he has been seeing our son now, I find out little things that are so annoying. For instance, his dad started to buy him clothes, but he keeps it at his girlfriend's house ( where he moved into and gives her rent money). That automatically made me flip. Then it was my son riding around with them without a booster seat. His girlfriend has continuously disrespected me and crossed the line, while my ex thinks its cute and thinks he can do whatever because of this new girl. The most recent problem happend while I was waiting for my son at our pick up and drop off spot, and of course his dad is always late. When they finally showed up, I got my son and when his dad went back to their car ( did I mention that his girlfriend is always there when we pick up and drop off) she blasted this song that was so inappropriate, cuss words and all and I look down and my son is singing along with it. UGH!!!! He later told me that he learned it from his dad and his girlfriend because they played it in the car. I have had to hold my tongue, and prevent every muslce in my body from lunging at these two. But I am so sick of the arrogance and the disrespect. I just don't know what to do anymore. People keep telling me not to let them break me and they are just trying to get a rise out of me. I understand that, and I try to move on and let it go but that is easier said than done.

p.s. sorry for the long post, I just needed to get that off my chest!! Lol

by on May. 2, 2012 at 7:38 PM
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Replies (1-7):
ShanShan0620
by on May. 2, 2012 at 8:12 PM
Tell him when he stops acting like a 16 year old he can see his son again, end of story
bethanyb0325
by on May. 2, 2012 at 8:17 PM
Or say until you get the support you deserve he will not see his child
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zmama22
by on May. 2, 2012 at 8:18 PM

you definitely needed to vent! you can say something about what you see that is inappropriate - the music and the carseat thing. those are dealbreakers for me, so i would curtail the visits until he could act right on those counts. as for him showing off, the GF will get tired of him playing daddy soon (especially after she pops out a baby, so get prepared for that).

beebrax26
by on May. 2, 2012 at 8:18 PM

ShanShan, I completely agree with you, problem is. His visitation is court ordered.

beebrax26
by on May. 2, 2012 at 8:22 PM

Zmama, his girlfriend is just as immature as he is. She has kids of her own, 2 in fact. That is why I found it so hard to believe that she would allow my son to ride around in their car without a booster seat. But I guess she was just worried that her 3 yr old was in his. So I guess some  women are only mothers to their own. They honestly are just both disgusting and should not be parents themselves. They both just use my son to get to me.

zmama22
by on May. 2, 2012 at 8:26 PM


Quoting beebrax26:

Zmama, his girlfriend is just as immature as he is. She has kids of her own, 2 in fact. That is why I found it so hard to believe that she would allow my son to ride around in their car without a booster seat. But I guess she was just worried that her 3 yr old was in his. So I guess some  women are only mothers to their own. They honestly are just both disgusting and should not be parents themselves. They both just use my son to get to me.

that makes it worse. i don't understand women like that. well i guess the only thing you can do right now is ignore them and try not to show that they are pissing you off. start bringing someone with you so they can witness the craziness in case you want to go to court on it.

beebrax26
by on May. 2, 2012 at 9:51 PM

Zmama,

Thats what I try to do, I try to have someone there with me, but its not always easy bc of everybody else's schedule. Its just hard, I def try to keep my composure but some things are just pure stupidity on their part. Sometimes, I can't tell if they are just plain old idiots or they are just doint these things to spite me. Its one thing to disrespect me and do things to egg me on but leave my kid out of it. His father is a disgrace for letting the things go on when they do. He is suppose to protect our son. Our son comes first before her and her kids. But it seems like he is taking care of her and hers. She even tried to fight me in front of her kids and I bet he thought that was cute; two ppl fighting over him. SMH...

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