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Signing over his rights **added more**

My daughters bio dad never wanted her my whole pregnancy was abusive in each and every way even trying to kill DD by locking me in a bathroom drenched with clorox when i was pregnant. Now shes 2 and he wants to officially sign his rights over but see her for the first and last time because hes moving to Korea. I have FULL custody and he only has rights when he starts paying CS which he wont because he wont pay he wants to sign her over. WHICH IS WHAT I WANT! But he asked me to have her for the day i said FUCK NO. He just got out of jail for a DUI from last year he is a alcoholic he drinks it like water. Then he asked for 50/50 custody i told him fuck no because he hasn't done shit for her. Ya i know some of you wont agree with that but i dont care i am doing whats best for my daughter and keeping him out of her life is whats best. Why should he get any rights to her after he tried killing me and her?? I dont want his money i want him to disappear. I told him he can see her when he signs his rights over. So thats our deal...

Sorry i just need to vent lol and i hate him.  

THERE IS NOOOOOOOO WAY HE COULD EVER KIDNAP MY CHILD IF THERE IS ONE VISITATION AFTER HIS RIGHTS ARE SIGNED OVER I WILL HAVE MY FATHER WITH ME AT ALL TIMES. HE IS AFRAID OF MY FATHER. 

by on May. 3, 2012 at 12:46 PM
Replies (81-88):
MamasaurusPrime
by on May. 7, 2012 at 10:00 PM
1 mom liked this

I'm always thinking about you and your kiddo. I know you're not some inbred t@rd that doesn't know her ass from her face. You're a smart girl, and I'm sure you have family that look out for you because of that asshat.

Don't waste your time with the objectors.

Quoting xpectingmama10:

Thank you! :)


Ngi ne themba - I have hope.

xpectingmama10
by on May. 7, 2012 at 10:42 PM

Exactly :) I'm not fake nor do i try to be something that i'm not which is why i'm not afraid to say i am on State Assisstance I'm feeding and clothing my child and she is as happy as can be. :) The state of CA is also putting me through college i started today :) I graduate from culinary school in september and i am so happy i can provide a future for my daughter and myself. 

It just shows some people care more about money then protecting their child from a psychotic sick attempted murdering assfuckhole. :) I however care more about my child. HAHAHAHA :)  

Quoting MamasaurusPrime:

I'm always thinking about you and your kiddo. I know you're not some inbred t@rd that doesn't know her ass from her face. You're a smart girl, and I'm sure you have family that look out for you because of that asshat.

Don't waste your time with the objectors.

Quoting xpectingmama10:

Thank you! :)



MamasaurusPrime
by on May. 7, 2012 at 10:44 PM
1 mom liked this

Yep, don't even worry about these women.

They are suffering from "Blue crab syndrome". Gotta pull everyone down to their level. There's no room for someone else's sucess.

Quoting xpectingmama10:

Exactly :) I'm not fake nor do i try to be something that i'm not which is why i'm not afraid to say i am on State Assisstance I'm feeding and clothing my child and she is as happy as can be. :) The state of CA is also putting me through college i started today :) I graduate from culinary school in september and i am so happy i can provide a future for my daughter and myself. 

It just shows some people care more about money then protecting their child from a psychotic sick attempted murdering assfuckhole. :) I however care more about my child. HAHAHAHA :)  

Quoting MamasaurusPrime:

I'm always thinking about you and your kiddo. I know you're not some inbred t@rd that doesn't know her ass from her face. You're a smart girl, and I'm sure you have family that look out for you because of that asshat.

Don't waste your time with the objectors.

Quoting xpectingmama10:

Thank you! :)




Ngi ne themba - I have hope.

Nikki286
by on May. 8, 2012 at 1:04 AM
1 mom liked this

Good sometimes its better for all parties involved so i hope it happens quickly

Quoting xpectingmama10:

Yes thats true in most states but in CA he has rights because of the whole child support case and he did the DNA test. So he has to literally sign her over to me by lawyers and paperwork. Its easier then i thought it would be. 

Quoting Nikki286:

This is my thoughts as well my dd has my last name and her biodad is not on her birthcertificate  he has no legal rights to her 

Quoting tinyt13:

I am not sure if this varies from state to state but what I was told is that if the fathers name is not on the b.c then legally he has no rights to her whatsoever he would have to take you to court to get a DNA test to eat paternity and then he would have to sign off. As far as the law goes you don't ever have to say boo to him about her or anything

Quoting xpectingmama10:

Nope and she has my last name not his

Quoting tinyt13:

Is he on her birth certificate?





Tea4Tas
by on May. 8, 2012 at 6:36 AM


Quoting xpectingmama10:

As i have stated before I WILL BE GETTING OFF ASSISSTANCE SOON. I know what i need to do he knows what he needs to do. I have talked to Lawyers and Child Support and Custody lawyers and advocates. I am not stupid i've done my homework and research on what we need to do. And like i have told you REPEATEDLY! He will be paying be backpay to the state and back child support to me. Also my daughter has a father figure in her life she DOES NOT NEED SOME ASSHOLE WHO TRIED TO KILL US. He can sign over his rights if both parties agree.  

Quoting Tea4Tas:

 

Quoting xpectingmama10:

ok...but i am currently getting off assisstance. SO he will only need to pay the backpay in that and the backpay child support. 

Quoting Tea4Tas:

 

Quoting xpectingmama10:

I know that i've had assistance for 18 months but i will be getting off soon. So he had a DNA test and he knows he has rights to her.

Quoting Tea4Tas:

 

Quoting xpectingmama10:

Nope and she has my last name not his

Quoting tinyt13:

Is he on her birth certificate?


He has no rights in that case. He has to first acknowledge paternity before he has any rights to sign away. Be aware that if you ever need assistance, in some states, you won't get it until you name the father.


The issue here is this. Any Judge will allow him to sign away visitation rights (in fact it seems he doesn't have a court order for that yet) so it's a moot point really.

NO judge, given the history of this case will allow him to sign away his financial obligations.

PARTICULARLY as you are currently on assistance.


No, you don't understand. Judges are usually unwilling to allow a mans OBLIGATION to pay child support to be ended-=UNLESS there is someone willing to assume it.  Because if you need assistance again-there won't be anyone to pay it back.

The law is set up to have BOTH parents support a child-and Judges aren't usually willing to set that aside.


Yes he can sign away his visitation rights if both parties agree. That part is pretty simple.  In fact my wasbund has no rights to see his oldest daughter-and rights to the other 3 kids.

HOWEVER child support obligations are different than visitation. My wasbund pays for all 4 kids-including the one he has no visitation rights to.

I was making a 6 figure income at the time of our divorce (still am) had never been on assistance, and was willing for him to NOT pay any child support on my oldest daughter-but the JUDGE wouldn't allow that.

It was really a bone to throw my ex who was dragging out the whole process so much that my legal fees were over 20K.

As it was explained to me-the child support is not MINE to sign away, it is an obligation owed to the CHILD, and as such, unless there was another person willing to assume financial responsability ( in ADDITION) to me, the Judge wasn't allowing it.

So for 5 years he never saw his daughter and paid $300 a month for her.  So I have been thru this.  And the rights are easy to sign off on-the obligations are a different story.


 

xpectingmama10
by on May. 8, 2012 at 10:32 AM

Are you in CA? Did your ex try to kill you and your unborn baby and beat you everyday?? Things are different for my situation. I emotionally struggle everyday knowing he has any rights to her i am in therapy from his abuse i have PTSD and Anxiety. The JUDGE will grant us our wishes...My bf and i can provide everything for her i am going to culinary school and once thats over i am moving in with him and i wont need my precious state assisstance anymore. He will sign as her male legal guardian since he pays for what i cant. Nuff said.

Quoting Tea4Tas:


Quoting xpectingmama10:

As i have stated before I WILL BE GETTING OFF ASSISSTANCE SOON. I know what i need to do he knows what he needs to do. I have talked to Lawyers and Child Support and Custody lawyers and advocates. I am not stupid i've done my homework and research on what we need to do. And like i have told you REPEATEDLY! He will be paying be backpay to the state and back child support to me. Also my daughter has a father figure in her life she DOES NOT NEED SOME ASSHOLE WHO TRIED TO KILL US. He can sign over his rights if both parties agree.  

Quoting Tea4Tas:


Quoting xpectingmama10:

ok...but i am currently getting off assisstance. SO he will only need to pay the backpay in that and the backpay child support. 

Quoting Tea4Tas:


Quoting xpectingmama10:

I know that i've had assistance for 18 months but i will be getting off soon. So he had a DNA test and he knows he has rights to her.

Quoting Tea4Tas:


Quoting xpectingmama10:

Nope and she has my last name not his

Quoting tinyt13:

Is he on her birth certificate?


He has no rights in that case. He has to first acknowledge paternity before he has any rights to sign away. Be aware that if you ever need assistance, in some states, you won't get it until you name the father.


The issue here is this. Any Judge will allow him to sign away visitation rights (in fact it seems he doesn't have a court order for that yet) so it's a moot point really.

NO judge, given the history of this case will allow him to sign away his financial obligations.

PARTICULARLY as you are currently on assistance.


No, you don't understand. Judges are usually unwilling to allow a mans OBLIGATION to pay child support to be ended-=UNLESS there is someone willing to assume it.  Because if you need assistance again-there won't be anyone to pay it back.

The law is set up to have BOTH parents support a child-and Judges aren't usually willing to set that aside.


Yes he can sign away his visitation rights if both parties agree. That part is pretty simple.  In fact my wasbund has no rights to see his oldest daughter-and rights to the other 3 kids.

HOWEVER child support obligations are different than visitation. My wasbund pays for all 4 kids-including the one he has no visitation rights to.

I was making a 6 figure income at the time of our divorce (still am) had never been on assistance, and was willing for him to NOT pay any child support on my oldest daughter-but the JUDGE wouldn't allow that.

It was really a bone to throw my ex who was dragging out the whole process so much that my legal fees were over 20K.

As it was explained to me-the child support is not MINE to sign away, it is an obligation owed to the CHILD, and as such, unless there was another person willing to assume financial responsability ( in ADDITION) to me, the Judge wasn't allowing it.

So for 5 years he never saw his daughter and paid $300 a month for her.  So I have been thru this.  And the rights are easy to sign off on-the obligations are a different story.


 


Tea4Tas
by on May. 8, 2012 at 10:41 AM

 

Quoting xpectingmama10:

Are you in CA? Did your ex try to kill you and your unborn baby and beat you everyday?? Things are different for my situation. I emotionally struggle everyday knowing he has any rights to her i am in therapy from his abuse i have PTSD and Anxiety. The JUDGE will grant us our wishes...My bf and i can provide everything for her i am going to culinary school and once thats over i am moving in with him and i wont need my precious state assisstance anymore. He will sign as her male legal guardian since he pays for what i cant. Nuff said.

Quoting Tea4Tas:

 

Quoting xpectingmama10:

As i have stated before I WILL BE GETTING OFF ASSISSTANCE SOON. I know what i need to do he knows what he needs to do. I have talked to Lawyers and Child Support and Custody lawyers and advocates. I am not stupid i've done my homework and research on what we need to do. And like i have told you REPEATEDLY! He will be paying be backpay to the state and back child support to me. Also my daughter has a father figure in her life she DOES NOT NEED SOME ASSHOLE WHO TRIED TO KILL US. He can sign over his rights if both parties agree.  

Quoting Tea4Tas:

 

Quoting xpectingmama10:

ok...but i am currently getting off assisstance. SO he will only need to pay the backpay in that and the backpay child support. 

Quoting Tea4Tas:

 

Quoting xpectingmama10:

I know that i've had assistance for 18 months but i will be getting off soon. So he had a DNA test and he knows he has rights to her.

Quoting Tea4Tas:

 

Quoting xpectingmama10:

Nope and she has my last name not his

Quoting tinyt13:

Is he on her birth certificate?


He has no rights in that case. He has to first acknowledge paternity before he has any rights to sign away. Be aware that if you ever need assistance, in some states, you won't get it until you name the father.


The issue here is this. Any Judge will allow him to sign away visitation rights (in fact it seems he doesn't have a court order for that yet) so it's a moot point really.

NO judge, given the history of this case will allow him to sign away his financial obligations.

PARTICULARLY as you are currently on assistance.


No, you don't understand. Judges are usually unwilling to allow a mans OBLIGATION to pay child support to be ended-=UNLESS there is someone willing to assume it.  Because if you need assistance again-there won't be anyone to pay it back.

The law is set up to have BOTH parents support a child-and Judges aren't usually willing to set that aside.


Yes he can sign away his visitation rights if both parties agree. That part is pretty simple.  In fact my wasbund has no rights to see his oldest daughter-and rights to the other 3 kids.

HOWEVER child support obligations are different than visitation. My wasbund pays for all 4 kids-including the one he has no visitation rights to.

I was making a 6 figure income at the time of our divorce (still am) had never been on assistance, and was willing for him to NOT pay any child support on my oldest daughter-but the JUDGE wouldn't allow that.

It was really a bone to throw my ex who was dragging out the whole process so much that my legal fees were over 20K.

As it was explained to me-the child support is not MINE to sign away, it is an obligation owed to the CHILD, and as such, unless there was another person willing to assume financial responsability ( in ADDITION) to me, the Judge wasn't allowing it.

So for 5 years he never saw his daughter and paid $300 a month for her.  So I have been thru this.  And the rights are easy to sign off on-the obligations are a different story.


 


So this will be an adoption then?  IF you have someone willing to assume financial responsability, then it can happen.  But if you are still actively on PA, no judge is going to allow him to sign away his obligations.

Obligations and rights are two different things. You seem to be using them interchangeably.

It is EASY to get rights signed away-the only thing you need is for both parents to agree. A judge will approve that all the time. Because, really, you can't mAKE someone visit a child they don't  want to see.

But obligations are harder. Because the obligation of child support is for the child-and Judges are usually reluctant to allow it, unless there is someone willing to assume the responsability. They generally prefer an adoption over just an assumption of obligations. And more than a few judges want the couple to be married before there is an adoption.

 

As I said, my ex has NO RIGHTS to see his oldest daughter. He can't go to her school, he couldn't take her home, in fact, he isn't allowed to come into my house.

The judge STILL wouldn't terminate his obligation of support. And I was not, and never have been on  PA. I was making a 6  figure income-and he STILL wouldn't terminate.  State laws don't vary much on this-it's always all about the child, and the child's right to financial support from BOTH parents.

xpectingmama10
by on May. 8, 2012 at 7:32 PM

Uhhh he doesn't need to adopt her to be put on her paperwork.

You can go ahead and keep thinking what you want to think but i called today and talked to another Custody/ Child support Advocate here in my town who knows more about this then you do. Once again HE WONT HAVE TO PAY CHILD SUPPORT AFTER SIGNING OVER HIS RIGHTS. So stop arguing with me. 

Quoting Tea4Tas:


Quoting xpectingmama10:

Are you in CA? Did your ex try to kill you and your unborn baby and beat you everyday?? Things are different for my situation. I emotionally struggle everyday knowing he has any rights to her i am in therapy from his abuse i have PTSD and Anxiety. The JUDGE will grant us our wishes...My bf and i can provide everything for her i am going to culinary school and once thats over i am moving in with him and i wont need my precious state assisstance anymore. He will sign as her male legal guardian since he pays for what i cant. Nuff said.

Quoting Tea4Tas:


Quoting xpectingmama10:

As i have stated before I WILL BE GETTING OFF ASSISSTANCE SOON. I know what i need to do he knows what he needs to do. I have talked to Lawyers and Child Support and Custody lawyers and advocates. I am not stupid i've done my homework and research on what we need to do. And like i have told you REPEATEDLY! He will be paying be backpay to the state and back child support to me. Also my daughter has a father figure in her life she DOES NOT NEED SOME ASSHOLE WHO TRIED TO KILL US. He can sign over his rights if both parties agree.  

Quoting Tea4Tas:


Quoting xpectingmama10:

ok...but i am currently getting off assisstance. SO he will only need to pay the backpay in that and the backpay child support. 

Quoting Tea4Tas:


Quoting xpectingmama10:

I know that i've had assistance for 18 months but i will be getting off soon. So he had a DNA test and he knows he has rights to her.

Quoting Tea4Tas:


Quoting xpectingmama10:

Nope and she has my last name not his

Quoting tinyt13:

Is he on her birth certificate?


He has no rights in that case. He has to first acknowledge paternity before he has any rights to sign away. Be aware that if you ever need assistance, in some states, you won't get it until you name the father.


The issue here is this. Any Judge will allow him to sign away visitation rights (in fact it seems he doesn't have a court order for that yet) so it's a moot point really.

NO judge, given the history of this case will allow him to sign away his financial obligations.

PARTICULARLY as you are currently on assistance.


No, you don't understand. Judges are usually unwilling to allow a mans OBLIGATION to pay child support to be ended-=UNLESS there is someone willing to assume it.  Because if you need assistance again-there won't be anyone to pay it back.

The law is set up to have BOTH parents support a child-and Judges aren't usually willing to set that aside.


Yes he can sign away his visitation rights if both parties agree. That part is pretty simple.  In fact my wasbund has no rights to see his oldest daughter-and rights to the other 3 kids.

HOWEVER child support obligations are different than visitation. My wasbund pays for all 4 kids-including the one he has no visitation rights to.

I was making a 6 figure income at the time of our divorce (still am) had never been on assistance, and was willing for him to NOT pay any child support on my oldest daughter-but the JUDGE wouldn't allow that.

It was really a bone to throw my ex who was dragging out the whole process so much that my legal fees were over 20K.

As it was explained to me-the child support is not MINE to sign away, it is an obligation owed to the CHILD, and as such, unless there was another person willing to assume financial responsability ( in ADDITION) to me, the Judge wasn't allowing it.

So for 5 years he never saw his daughter and paid $300 a month for her.  So I have been thru this.  And the rights are easy to sign off on-the obligations are a different story.


 


So this will be an adoption then?  IF you have someone willing to assume financial responsability, then it can happen.  But if you are still actively on PA, no judge is going to allow him to sign away his obligations.

Obligations and rights are two different things. You seem to be using them interchangeably.

It is EASY to get rights signed away-the only thing you need is for both parents to agree. A judge will approve that all the time. Because, really, you can't mAKE someone visit a child they don't  want to see.

But obligations are harder. Because the obligation of child support is for the child-and Judges are usually reluctant to allow it, unless there is someone willing to assume the responsability. They generally prefer an adoption over just an assumption of obligations. And more than a few judges want the couple to be married before there is an adoption.


As I said, my ex has NO RIGHTS to see his oldest daughter. He can't go to her school, he couldn't take her home, in fact, he isn't allowed to come into my house.

The judge STILL wouldn't terminate his obligation of support. And I was not, and never have been on  PA. I was making a 6  figure income-and he STILL wouldn't terminate.  State laws don't vary much on this-it's always all about the child, and the child's right to financial support from BOTH parents.


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