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were forced to love our kids

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I absolutly love and adore dd but yes somtimes I do feel that way..does this make me not ok? do u ever feel this way
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by on May. 4, 2012 at 10:54 AM
Replies (11-20):
MamasaurusPrime
by on May. 4, 2012 at 3:05 PM
I don't think there's such a thing as being forced to love your kids. You have a choice. I think the only circumstance I would say you're forced to ever love a child is when you are in a blended family or if you are bullied into keeping a pregnancy rather than have the agency to have an abortion. I can definitely see somebody saying this if they were guilted out of an abortion.

A child's parent should never feel forced to love somebody. If you feel you cannot provide your child love, give your child up for adoption or get a damn abortion. Save that child the agony of feeling unloved. a child should never have to go through that pain. Anyway, I'm on a tangent.

To your original question, my question for you is do you actually feel like you are obligated to love your child, or do you mean you are forced to LIKE her? Liking your child is different than loving your child. You should always love your child, you don't have to always like what she does though.

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MeeshMom
by Platinum Member on May. 4, 2012 at 3:21 PM
To me love is a verb. It's an action that you show. I love this kid of mine more than anything no matter what. I don't always like my kid especially when he's acting out. But I always make sure the laundry is done, there is food on the table, and I always hug and kiss my son goodnight. The things I do for him are my ways of showing love. I wouldn't do these things for anyone else.
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MsMellyMc
by on May. 4, 2012 at 3:24 PM


Quoting ame4c:


Quoting lissetteP:

but its like regaurdless of how they act we either HAVE to love them or were bad moms..pick n choose..lol

Love is a choice and sometimes not a very easy one to make.  I love my kids no matter what, even when I don't love what they do or have done.

I think a lot of people forget that love is a choice and this is why we have so many divorces in this world.  Sometimes you have to chose to love someone through the good, bad and the ugly.  It is no different for our children.

well said mama!  :)

miss_AP
by on May. 4, 2012 at 5:30 PM

 Nope, makes you normal I think! The way I "see" it or word it is that I may always LOVE my kids, but I don't always LIKE them. Sometimes I definitely put up with them!

KristinawithaK
by on May. 4, 2012 at 5:41 PM

I really don't even believe that to be true.  I hear stories of plenty of people/moms who don't love their kids.  check out badbreeders.net if you want to feel like mom of the year.

lissetteP
by Silver Member on May. 4, 2012 at 6:44 PM
I'm just sayin like wen ur pregnant that's somthng your suppose to do..wen the babies born ofcourse u feel the love but that's something thats suppose to happenand if u don't love your baby ur a bad person and a bad mom..idk u c wat I'm saying in a way


Quoting MamasaurusPrime:

I don't think there's such a thing as being forced to love your kids. You have a choice. I think the only circumstance I would say you're forced to ever love a child is when you are in a blended family or if you are bullied into keeping a pregnancy rather than have the agency to have an abortion. I can definitely see somebody saying this if they were guilted out of an abortion.

A child's parent should never feel forced to love somebody. If you feel you cannot provide your child love, give your child up for adoption or get a damn abortion. Save that child the agony of feeling unloved. a child should never have to go through that pain. Anyway, I'm on a tangent.

To your original question, my question for you is do you actually feel like you are obligated to love your child, or do you mean you are forced to LIKE her? Liking your child is different than loving your child. You should always love your child, you don't have to always like what she does though.


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MamasaurusPrime
by on May. 4, 2012 at 8:10 PM

No, if you don't love your baby, it's probably the PPD. Some mothers DON'T love their babies because of it, and that's why. But that doesn't make them a bad mother. It's only bad if they deny that they have a problem, but no, I don't think you're a bad mother. I don't think anyone in here is a "BAD" mom. We all fuck up at times. It's natural.

You SHOULD love your baby, and babies should feel loved, but sometimes, there are other reasons. I think what I was getting at was a scenario where a mother continued to show that they didn't love their kid, then it becomes problematic.

Quoting lissetteP:

I'm just sayin like wen ur pregnant that's somthng your suppose to do..wen the babies born ofcourse u feel the love but that's something thats suppose to happenand if u don't love your baby ur a bad person and a bad mom..idk u c wat I'm saying in a way



Ngi ne themba - I have hope.

lissetteP
by Silver Member on May. 4, 2012 at 9:09 PM
I c wat u mean..I.do love my dd and i will never regret her
..but when I do feel that way its usually Friday or Saturday night and I wana go out with friends and get fucked up and u cant..I.know its not her fault..but I was living that life for so long I'm still getting use to it..and on top of that I depression and anxiety so sometimes I just want to run out that door and only have to worry about myself, then I look at her and just realize how much my life has changed and hiw much I'm sacrificing for her..but it is wat it is


Quoting MamasaurusPrime:

No, if you don't love your baby, it's probably the PPD. Some mothers DON'T love their babies because of it, and that's why. But that doesn't make them a bad mother. It's only bad if they deny that they have a problem, but no, I don't think you're a bad mother. I don't think anyone in here is a "BAD" mom. We all fuck up at times. It's natural.

You SHOULD love your baby, and babies should feel loved, but sometimes, there are other reasons. I think what I was getting at was a scenario where a mother continued to show that they didn't love their kid, then it becomes problematic.

Quoting lissetteP:

I'm just sayin like wen ur pregnant that's somthng your suppose to do..wen the babies born ofcourse u feel the love but that's something thats suppose to happenand if u don't love your baby ur a bad person and a bad mom..idk u c wat I'm saying in a way







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MamasaurusPrime
by on May. 4, 2012 at 9:19 PM

I used to feel that way but I think it's because you're so young. It's completely natural to feel stripped of your teenage years if you had a kid so young. Even at 20, I felt like I couldn't do a lot of things I wanted to do, and when I would go out on drinking binges or whatever, I always made sure my parents watched my son, even though they didn't like WHY they were watching him. I still felt like I didn't get to really LIVE my younger days. I'm 25 now, and I look at that scene and I find myself very judgmental of other people even though I used to do that during my son's first 2 years of life. I guess it's safe to say I got it out of my system. Now, it's going to a lounge rather than a bar or club, and just having a few, then hanging out and sight seeing, window shopping down Corydon Avenue. LOL.

And when I'm not doing that, I'm shopping for home stuff at furniture stores lol.

I understand why you feel like that though, and adding depression and anxiety on top of that - must drive you fucking nuts at times. I only deal with anxiety but I find ways to keep myself busy so I don't panic. I haven't had a panic attack since July.

Quoting lissetteP:

I c wat u mean..I.do love my dd and i will never regret her
..but when I do feel that way its usually Friday or Saturday night and I wana go out with friends and get fucked up and u cant..I.know its not her fault..but I was living that life for so long I'm still getting use to it..and on top of that I depression and anxiety so sometimes I just want to run out that door and only have to worry about myself, then I look at her and just realize how much my life has changed and hiw much I'm sacrificing for her..but it is wat it is


Ngi ne themba - I have hope.

Jeni1124
by on May. 4, 2012 at 9:20 PM

 I have never felt forced to love my child.

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