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Should I just cut off all contact w/bd??!

Posted by on May. 5, 2012 at 10:59 AM
  • 44 Replies
The babies father keeps texting me over and over and over what a huge mistake I'm making by keeping the baby. I keep telling him he doesn't have to be there. He just keeps telling me that by law he has to. How I'm gonna go through "hell" and how I won't make it on my own. Just the worst things you can think of. How this baby will inconvenience everyone and how I'll suffer. Yea... He really cares about my feelings. Should I just not talk to him during my pregnancy and should I have papers drawn up so he can sign his rights away. He adamantly refuses the idea of me keeping the baby. Why should he have any rights?
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by on May. 5, 2012 at 10:59 AM
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Replies (1-10):
MamasaurusPrime
by on May. 5, 2012 at 11:41 AM

Yes, cut off contact before he makes something go wrong in your pregnancy by stressing you out. He is too toxic to keep communication open.

No, don't make him sign his rights over just yet. Go file for custody and child support. They are two different issues. I would suggest filing the same day though, if you can. Let him try worm his way out.

Once that's all filed, he may or may not want visitation and he may or may not pay on time either.

Ngi ne themba - I have hope.

Bellabluu25
by on May. 5, 2012 at 11:46 AM
I don't want his money. I don't want anything from him. If I do this I want to do it on my own, as hard as that may be. I can't have him coming back saying he's paid his way to see his kid if he should someday "feel" the urge. Maybe I'm being irrational but so is he.
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Mia1983
by Mia on May. 5, 2012 at 11:53 AM
I'd stop talking to him. He won't even have rights unless he takes you to court for them. I don't know if it's advisable to forgo child support, but as long as he doesn't petition the court for visitation, he won't get any time with the child.
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MamasaurusPrime
by on May. 5, 2012 at 11:57 AM

You shouldn't disregard child support because you want to be as irrational as he is. Think of your daughter, child support is for HER, not for you to lose your sense of pride over.

I say swallow your pride, and go for the support at least. Give it a try, especially since you know it's gonna be hard for a while without it. What you may get from it may be the difference between a day's worth of food for your kid.

Quoting Bellabluu25:

I don't want his money. I don't want anything from him. If I do this I want to do it on my own, as hard as that may be. I can't have him coming back saying he's paid his way to see his kid if he should someday "feel" the urge. Maybe I'm being irrational but so is he.


Ngi ne themba - I have hope.

SinceresMomma
by on May. 5, 2012 at 12:00 PM
Yeah cut contact until she is born.
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KrissyMama88
by on May. 5, 2012 at 12:04 PM
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i would stop having any contact with him and don't tell him when you have the baby that way he can't show up to fill out the paternity affidavit. As long as his name is not on the birth certificate he has no rights to the child without going through the courts for a dna test which he'll have to pay for. My ex refused to put his name on ds2 so he has no rights to him.

Quoting Bellabluu25:

I don't want his money. I don't want anything from him. If I do this I want to do it on my own, as hard as that may be. I can't have him coming back saying he's paid his way to see his kid if he should someday "feel" the urge. Maybe I'm being irrational but so is he.
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Kassi12
by on May. 5, 2012 at 1:36 PM
I did what you are asking about. I had my baby boy on my own and his father has no rights. It's hard but worth it for us. His dad is crazy and was emotional abusive toward me and I would much rather have no ties to him then have to work a little less for my son.

                My Monkey was born on 9-22-10

                  toddler boy*Kaiden Anthony*

anitalynn7
by on May. 5, 2012 at 4:11 PM
I was in a very similar situation. I would seek out legal aid (there should be free resources in your community if you look online) & figure out what your legal rights & responsibilities are regarding custody & child support (you can also go through the state to get child support). If he's not present to sign the birth certificate (I never informed my DD's father of her birth as I was in a similar situation & he knew when she was going to be born beforehand, & to this day has never once contacted me since her birth over a year ago) then he has no legal or custodial rights. If you pursue child support that may change that, hence my advice to seek out legal aid if possible. Good luck!
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tyfry7496
by on May. 5, 2012 at 4:18 PM
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Your child deserves the child support and has a right to it. Child support is not about you but the child. Just because he pays support doesn't mean he gets visitation or custody.

He can't just sign over his rights. It's not done that way. There has to be someone to adopt the child or severe abuse of the child.

Stop talking to him but file for support when the baby is born. If you get any public assistance you will have to cooperate with child support.


Quoting Bellabluu25:

I don't want his money. I don't want anything from him. If I do this I want to do it on my own, as hard as that may be. I can't have him coming back saying he's paid his way to see his kid if he should someday "feel" the urge. Maybe I'm being irrational but so is he.
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MamasaurusPrime
by on May. 5, 2012 at 6:35 PM

Exactly. I don't know why they say stuff like this - who cares if YOU don't want to, in situations like this, you suck up your pride and just take the support, even if you don't need it. Your children will need it for post secondary education or something!

Quoting tyfry7496:

Your child deserves the child support and has a right to it. Child support is not about you but the child. Just because he pays support doesn't mean he gets visitation or custody.

He can't just sign over his rights. It's not done that way. There has to be someone to adopt the child or severe abuse of the child.

Stop talking to him but file for support when the baby is born. If you get any public assistance you will have to cooperate with child support.



Ngi ne themba - I have hope.

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