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Separated parents sharing custody of kids.

Posted by on May. 7, 2012 at 7:41 AM
  • 25 Replies
I have 2 beautiful girls, I have physical custody and their father get visitation every other weekend, & for the past 3 yrs he's been making my life a living hell. Will I be wrong if I give him physical custody? I think if I do that maybe I can put an end to all the drama that comes along every other weekend. I'm desperate for some advise.
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by on May. 7, 2012 at 7:41 AM
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Replies (1-10):
ame4c
by Silver Member on May. 7, 2012 at 7:52 AM

No you will not be wrong.  I would not give him physical custody unless that is what is in the best interest of the children though.  They are your kids too and just giving in to him to not have to deal with him is not the best answer and will hurt only your kids in the long run.  Make sure you are always doing what is best for your kids and you can't go wrong.

Tea4Tas
by on May. 7, 2012 at 7:54 AM

Drama? In what way? There are many ways to avoid drama. Like a public drop off and pick up. Like having someone else do all of the drop offs and pick ups.

Like only email communications (and save them if he gets out of hand.

 

Milly275
by on May. 7, 2012 at 7:57 AM
This man is constantly making all types of threats and calling me all the names in the book. He talk bad about me to my kids. But at the end of the day my kids love him an they think he's the best. It's stressful on my kids every other weekend when we have to show up at the precinct to do the exchange. I can see they are uncomfortable with the situation, so I figure that will be the best thing to do not just for me but for them also.
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TempestRayne
by on May. 7, 2012 at 7:59 AM
1 mom liked this

 You should take him back to court, and get this all straightened out. It is inappropriate for him to threaten or harass you, and he is putting your kids int he middle of your problems and that can seriously mess them up.

sid1083
by Silver Member on May. 7, 2012 at 1:30 PM

If you gave him physical custody, would you then not see your kids at all so there would be no exchanges? I'd try to work out something through the court first to see if that can't get him to change his attitude & bad mouthing before I just turned over custody. Possibly turning over physical custody too without any intervention could cause further problems (i.e. him telling the kids you're abandoning them) though you know that's not the case. Imo, I'd look for other options first before giving into someone like that. Good luck.

Quoting Milly275:

This man is constantly making all types of threats and calling me all the names in the book. He talk bad about me to my kids. But at the end of the day my kids love him an they think he's the best. It's stressful on my kids every other weekend when we have to show up at the precinct to do the exchange. I can see they are uncomfortable with the situation, so I figure that will be the best thing to do not just for me but for them also.


SinceresMomma
by on May. 7, 2012 at 2:35 PM
I wouldn't do that. He houldnt invoke your kids into yall problems because it has nothing to do with them. Or you can take him back to court
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brieri
by Platinum Member on May. 7, 2012 at 2:53 PM

 Just let it be known you are NOT abandoning them.  Would you get the visitation then?

mommynac
by on May. 7, 2012 at 2:57 PM

Don't give him physical custody. He sounds abusive. How can you be sure he isn't like this to your children as well? I would limit your conversation to email, and if he threatens you, I would print it all and take it to court with me. I would also get an order to stop him from disrespecting you. He should not be allowed to continue. I'm sorry you have to deal with this. My ex can be like this too, but I don't have to deal with it so much as he lives out of town.

Quoting Milly275:

This man is constantly making all types of threats and calling me all the names in the book. He talk bad about me to my kids. But at the end of the day my kids love him an they think he's the best. It's stressful on my kids every other weekend when we have to show up at the precinct to do the exchange. I can see they are uncomfortable with the situation, so I figure that will be the best thing to do not just for me but for them also.


Caleighsmommy
by on May. 7, 2012 at 3:01 PM

 i second this.....

Quoting ame4c:

No you will not be wrong.  I would not give him physical custody unless that is what is in the best interest of the children though.  They are your kids too and just giving in to him to not have to deal with him is not the best answer and will hurt only your kids in the long run.  Make sure you are always doing what is best for your kids and you can't go wrong.

 imo tho the guy sounds kinda abusive and if thats how he treats you as a woman do yo uthink he ay treat your kids that way as well.....not saying he does just asking.....I personally would try to go back to court and maybe see if they can order him to take some sort of co parenting class maybe before id think about giving up custody......

parker4429
by on May. 7, 2012 at 3:16 PM
2 moms liked this

 Do you honest think giving him physical custody will make the drama stop?  My guess is he will just find something different to complain about.  Some people are so full of hate and misery it spreads into everything they do.  My ex is also this way.  Good luck and don't let him get you down. 

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