they need a dummy's guide for this!

[mama_grizz]

So dd and ds have different dads. Dd knows her dad, even though he hasn't been around much. Ds's dad hasn't even met him and I'm not certain he ever intends to. I anticipated ds someday asking about his dad... It didn't even cross my mind that dd would ask about ds's dad. I didn't know how to answer her questions about who he was and why he wasn't there. I just kind of distracted her and didn't really answer her at all, which worked for now, but I know she'll probably ask again. I still have no idea what to say, because he still hasn't gotten the dna results (I did, I called the caseworker daily, she's an awesome lady and doesn't mind). And since it was a one night stand and he cut communication when I told him, I have no idea what he's going to do. I'm so confused, I really wish I had more answers.

[Robsessed98]

Just be honest with them.  Tell them that his dad is gone and you don't know if he can come back.  You don't need to tell them the details.  When ds is old enough to understand you can explain it better, but please don't ever tell him that his dad didn't want him.

[mama_grizz]

I'd never say that. My dad was a drunk and once told me he wished I was never born... I'd never let my babies feel like that. I'm trying to be careful of what I tell her, because I'm not sure if he'll ask me or his older sister when he has questions. She's 7, he's 4 months, and even with the age difference they're a lot closer than I thought they'd be. Thanks for the advice :) I'm thinking I may be overcomplicating it.

[brieri]

Good luck

[Kaya529]

I plan on just being honest with DS when he is old enough to ask. Though I will try to make my answers age appropriate.