Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Single Moms Single Moms

Has anyone gone through this and can give me advice?

Posted by on May. 15, 2012 at 1:12 AM
  • 76 Replies

Hi group, my name is Rae, I'm almost 21, living in Arizona and this is my first kid/pregnancy. Ok, so when I found out I was pregnant, I let the father know (we had broken up about a week and a half before I found out) and he told me he wasnt ready for kids and told me to take care of the problem. Obviously I didnt listen to him. I tried getting some information from him so I could put him down on paper work etc, and he told me he wouldnt give me any info electronically, which I could understand so I asked him if he could meet me in person and he said no. That he cant trust me and demands a blood test with this 'thing' comes out. That was the last I heard from him. I decided to do some digging online and found out on the county website that he already has a kid (which he told me he didnt have kids) and owed over $2,000 in CS as of last June, also stated that he had a DNA test which came out positive. I'm not looking forward to all of this.. He doesnt have a real job, been working under the table for awhile, lives with grandparents, etc (I found out he's been lying to me the whole time I've known him and I was using protection that failed)

I was wondering if anyone has gone through any of this and has any advice?

 BabyFetus Ticker

 BabyFruit Ticker
by on May. 15, 2012 at 1:12 AM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
Chanel5nyc
by Shanell on May. 15, 2012 at 1:17 AM
1 mom liked this
There is nothing much you can do. Can't force him to be a dad. He works off the books, so you might get $50 or less in child support. Just focus on yourself and child.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Singlemominit
by on May. 15, 2012 at 1:18 AM

I'm not trying to make him be a dad, I was just asking for advice for the court process. I heard he would have to pay for the DNA test since hes saying hes not the father. I'm not expecting to get a whole lot of anything from him, but it would be nice to see justice be done to that asshole lol

Quoting Chanel5nyc:

There is nothing much you can do. Can't force him to be a dad. He works off the books, so you might get $50 or less in child support. Just focus on yourself and child.


Darkangelpunk
by Member on May. 15, 2012 at 1:23 AM
4 moms liked this

 Good luck, its probably just best to cut your losses and forget him. he wont give you any money and if u dont have him on any paper work you dont have to have his permission for anything, and if you need state help like food stamps you just say "I dont know who the father is " and you wont have to go jump thru all there hoops about filing for child support, court and what not.

Chanel5nyc
by Shanell on May. 15, 2012 at 1:25 AM
1 mom liked this
Well you didn't make it clear in your post that you needed advice on just child support. If you get a DNA test done by the court, he pays if he is the father, you pay if he is not the father. Since he is not working you will not get much and since he owes child support for other kids you will probably get nothing.

Quoting Singlemominit:

I'm not trying to make him be a dad, I was just asking for advice for the court process. I heard he would have to pay for the DNA test since hes saying hes not the father. I'm not expecting to get a whole lot of anything from him, but it would be nice to see justice be done to that asshole lol


Quoting Chanel5nyc:

There is nothing much you can do. Can't force him to be a dad. He works off the books, so you might get $50 or less in child support. Just focus on yourself and child.


Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Mom2Addison12
by on May. 15, 2012 at 1:28 AM

not true....since he has another child that child will get the most, and then her child would get the least.

Quoting Chanel5nyc:

Well you didn't make it clear in your post that you needed advice on just child support. If you get a DNA test done by the court, he pays if he is the father, you pay if he is not the father. Since he is not working you will not get much and since he owes child support for other kids you will probably get nothing.

Quoting Singlemominit:

I'm not trying to make him be a dad, I was just asking for advice for the court process. I heard he would have to pay for the DNA test since hes saying hes not the father. I'm not expecting to get a whole lot of anything from him, but it would be nice to see justice be done to that asshole lol


Quoting Chanel5nyc:

There is nothing much you can do. Can't force him to be a dad. He works off the books, so you might get $50 or less in child support. Just focus on yourself and child.

 


Singlemominit
by on May. 15, 2012 at 1:29 AM
1 mom liked this

I wont be doing that, the fact that I'm the 2nd woman he has done this to, there's no way the state can just let this slide. In this state you can go to jail for not paying child support, especially when it has to do with more than one party. I'd rather go through the troubles and let him know that he cant keep doing this than just step to the side and let him win. I guess I'm stubborn like that

Quoting Darkangelpunk:

 Good luck, its probably just best to cut your losses and forget him. he wont give you any money and if u dont have him on any paper work you dont have to have his permission for anything, and if you need state help like food stamps you just say "I dont know who the father is " and you wont have to go jump thru all there hoops about filing for child support, court and what not.


Mom2Addison12
by on May. 15, 2012 at 1:31 AM
1 mom liked this


Quoting Darkangelpunk:

 Good luck, its probably just best to cut your losses and forget him. he wont give you any money and if u dont have him on any paper work you dont have to have his permission for anything, and if you need state help like food stamps you just say "I dont know who the father is " and you wont have to go jump thru all there hoops about filing for child support, court and what not.

just because his name isn't on any paper work, doesn't mean anything......my daughters bio father isn't on her BC, and i've got to tell him information and etc, but he is in jail so.

and also, if you say you don't who the father is, that lying to government officals, and it's considered a felony, so she needs to right down that she knows who the father is, she doesn't need to know where he lives, where he works or anything like that, just needs to put down if he is paying child support, and his name. and if she gets cash, then he will HAVE to pay child support.

Singlemominit
by on May. 15, 2012 at 1:31 AM

Actually the state splits it in half

Quoting Mom2Addison12:

not true....since he has another child that child will get the most, and then her child would get the least.

Quoting Chanel5nyc:

Well you didn't make it clear in your post that you needed advice on just child support. If you get a DNA test done by the court, he pays if he is the father, you pay if he is not the father. Since he is not working you will not get much and since he owes child support for other kids you will probably get nothing.

Quoting Singlemominit:

I'm not trying to make him be a dad, I was just asking for advice for the court process. I heard he would have to pay for the DNA test since hes saying hes not the father. I'm not expecting to get a whole lot of anything from him, but it would be nice to see justice be done to that asshole lol


Quoting Chanel5nyc:

There is nothing much you can do. Can't force him to be a dad. He works off the books, so you might get $50 or less in child support. Just focus on yourself and child.




Mom2Addison12
by on May. 15, 2012 at 1:32 AM

honey, in any state you can go to jail for not paying....but a lot of men going into that court room making excuses and smelling like shit, and coming out smelling like a rose.

Quoting Singlemominit:

I wont be doing that, the fact that I'm the 2nd woman he has done this to, there's no way the state can just let this slide. In this state you can go to jail for not paying child support, especially when it has to do with more than one party. I'd rather go through the troubles and let him know that he cant keep doing this than just step to the side and let him win. I guess I'm stubborn like that

Quoting Darkangelpunk:

 Good luck, its probably just best to cut your losses and forget him. he wont give you any money and if u dont have him on any paper work you dont have to have his permission for anything, and if you need state help like food stamps you just say "I dont know who the father is " and you wont have to go jump thru all there hoops about filing for child support, court and what not.

 


Mom2Addison12
by on May. 15, 2012 at 1:33 AM

right, i know i've gone through this with not only my father but also with my daughters real father.

his first child will get the most, and then you will get whatever they determine.

Quoting Singlemominit:

Actually the state splits it in half

Quoting Mom2Addison12:

not true....since he has another child that child will get the most, and then her child would get the least.

Quoting Chanel5nyc:

Well you didn't make it clear in your post that you needed advice on just child support. If you get a DNA test done by the court, he pays if he is the father, you pay if he is not the father. Since he is not working you will not get much and since he owes child support for other kids you will probably get nothing.

Quoting Singlemominit:

I'm not trying to make him be a dad, I was just asking for advice for the court process. I heard he would have to pay for the DNA test since hes saying hes not the father. I'm not expecting to get a whole lot of anything from him, but it would be nice to see justice be done to that asshole lol


Quoting Chanel5nyc:

There is nothing much you can do. Can't force him to be a dad. He works off the books, so you might get $50 or less in child support. Just focus on yourself and child.

 

 

 


Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)