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Single Moms Single Moms

Trying to find my way

Posted by on May. 21, 2012 at 6:20 PM
  • 5 Replies

Hello single mommy's. I am having a hard time figuring out what to do so I thought that maybe you ladies could help me out a little with this. I am a single mom of 2 girls. Ages 9 and 10. I work part time and also in school but I took the summer off from classes so that I could work more. Their dad has pretty much washed his hands of the kids. I have not heard anything from him since September of last year. I do receive a little child support from the state though and I am grateful for that. The problem is that I feel lost. I don't feel as if I am getting anywhere with my life. I have been in school forever and although I am thankful, I am so unsatisfied with my $8/hour job. It barely gets me by. I work at a grocery store and I am only available to work during my kids school hours and usually they need more help at night but I don't have a sitter for my children. So some weeks I only end up with about 10 hours because of my limited availability. It has been really hard for me to find a place to work that will work with my schedule. I cannot be at work no earlier than 9:30 and no later than 2:30 so that I can pick my daughters up from school.

The kids are always staying into it with other girls their age in the after school program that I don't feel too comfortable leaving them there most of the time. There has been a lot of bullying, fights, threats and so on that I just don't have a peace of mind with making them go there after school. On the days that they do go, I am usually so worried about whats going on with them that I am not able to focus to much on anything else. Everyday the kids come home telling me about some little girl wanting to fight them and I am so tired of it. This is not the type of environment that I wanted my children to be in so I decided to change my work hours so that I can pick them up from school and bring them straight home to keep down the mess in that program. I have talked with the staff that's over the program but I really have not gotten too far with that. I want to get up on my feet and not have to worry about money so much but I just don't know how. I am receiving a little assistance from the state, food stamps as well as medicaid for the kids, but I feel that I am always going to be stuck in this rut. How do I pull myself out? I don't have a support system at all and whenever I try to talk to a friend they pretty much don't want to hear it because they have their own share of issues that they are dealing with. 

 

by on May. 21, 2012 at 6:20 PM
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Replies (1-5):
LifeCafe42
by Nora on May. 21, 2012 at 10:20 PM
Welcome! You are taking the first step by being in school each class gets you closer! Maybe look for another position that can give you more hours. Do the girls have any friends they can go to their houses after school?
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LifeCafe42
by Nora on May. 21, 2012 at 10:20 PM
Welcome! You are taking the first step by being in school each class gets you closer! Maybe look for another position that can give you more hours. Do the girls have any friends they can go to their houses after school?
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
reindeergames
by on May. 21, 2012 at 10:59 PM

Oh yeah I'm in the boat of don't know where to go or what to do with myself. My situation is different then yours though. I am a single mother but my daughters father takes her on the weekends (which kills me by the way I want my baby with me all the time). I work full time while my daughter attends preschool she is only 4 years old. I try to pick up work on the weekends to fill the empty hours but am not always successful. With that said I am just starting to hang out with people, get out a bit & it's strange. I just don't know what to do with myself these days, its difficult. 

I enjoy going to work vs being stay at home mom yet I miss being there for my daughter. I feel like I never get to have time with her & her going away on the weekends is just awful. Its just hard, simple as that. I have only been broken up with her father since December, so this is all very recent & it's been a crazy ride since then. 

If you ever wanna chat I'm usually around =/ but welcome to the group, its a great group. 

Mommyto2LilMen
by Tina on May. 22, 2012 at 9:53 AM
I agree!! Good luck to you and know we are here for you for moral support!!

Quoting LifeCafe42:

Welcome! You are taking the first step by being in school each class gets you closer! Maybe look for another position that can give you more hours. Do the girls have any friends they can go to their houses after school?
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Robsessed98
by on May. 22, 2012 at 11:46 AM

I agree too.  Stay in school because in the long run you will be much better off.  This may be a long shot, but would you be comfortable with the girls going home alone after school and having a neighbor check in on them??  They may be a little young, but as long as they didn't cook or anything like that, maybe they could be responsible enough to stay alone.

Quoting Mommyto2LilMen:

I agree!! Good luck to you and know we are here for you for moral support!!

Quoting LifeCafe42:

Welcome! You are taking the first step by being in school each class gets you closer! Maybe look for another position that can give you more hours. Do the girls have any friends they can go to their houses after school?


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