I need an unbiased opinion about this whole single parenting thing /:
My ex(I'll call the him Larry, because it is shorter than "the babys father") and I were engaged when I got pregnant, about a week before I took the test we called it off, well when I found out he was excited and said all the right things that we would work it out and he would be involved. Well, we were living in NY together at the time. After the split he went back to MI. Someone in his family said it wasn't his baby because I got pregnant too soon. Well, that was about 2 weeks after I told him, it has now been three months and I tried to keep him informed about what is going on because I want my kid to know his/her father. But it is coming to the point that he is finding every excuse or reason to be mean to me, or say something hurtful when I give him an update, and find a way it isn't his. I sent him a pic of the sonogram, and the doctor said I was 13 weeks and baby was measuring about 13cm. "Larry" says that he knows better and that if the baby is measuring that size I'm lying and the doctor is wrong and that I'm 19 weeks. So he really is finding anything to try and turn it into something. I am going to go with my doctor knows more, as she is the doctor, and he is just being mean. So, with all the background my questions are 1.) should I just give up keeping him involved and let him make his mistake? or should I just push through it and deal with the meaness for the sake of the kid? and 2.) is it normal for the baby to measure so big?
Babies measure different. In the early stages the measurements can change by a few weeks.
when did you find out that you were pregnant? and how far along were you then?
leave it alone, and when the baby comes out, take him for child support, they will offer a dna test, if it comes out his, he will pay for it. and then he will be ordered to pay child support.
but for now, leave him alone, he is going to listen to his family over a girl.
Quoting jedwards2009:
I would tell him when the baby is born you are doing a paterntity test and then he can make up his mind. Until then tell him you will contact him when the baby is born if he doesn't want to be involved.
Babies measure different. In the early stages the measurements can change by a few weeks.
If you were engaged doesn't that mean you were in a relationship with him for long enough that it wouldn't even matter if it were 19 weeks, it would still be his?
Quote:when did you find out that you were pregnant? and how far along were you then?
leave it alone, and when the baby comes out, take him for child support, they will offer a dna test, if it comes out his, he will pay for it. and then he will be ordered to pay child support.
but for now, leave him alone, he is going to listen to his family over a girl.
I found out on March 16, around apr 11 I went in for my first check up, and they were saying I was about 9 weeks. May 9 and by then they were saying I was 12/13 weeks. The weeks between I was sent for blood work and they were asking what kind of blood he had and etc, so I would contact him to ask what the office asked me.
I just don't want to give him any room to say that he didn't know that I was pregnant or what was going on and then try and play that in court if we end up there. I've seen courts go so wrong and it only hurts the kid(s) in the end and I'd rather not have his money than have my kid hurt.
I don't know the answer to your second question, DS always measured right on the money. I'm sure it's pretty common though, everyone is different.
As far as what to do with the baby's father... it would probably be best for both of you to have your space right now. If you're sure the baby is his, then tell him so, but tell him that you are going to leave him be unless he contacts you to ask about the baby. Tell him that when the baby's born you will be filing for child support, and at that point if he doesn't believe the baby is his, he can ask for a paternity test (remind him that if it turns out you're right, HE will pay for the test). Then he will know the truth, and he can decide whether he wants to be in the baby's life.
I will mention that because of the way he's acting now, in the time when you most need him, you probably should not get back with him even if he starts that talk again. It sounds like he and his family are toxic people and just want to make you feel bad about yourself (and they are probably trying to scare you out of filing for support). Does that strike you as someone who would be a great boyfriend and an awesome dad? Probably not.
Start saving ALL communication between you. Save the texts, text/e-mail instead of talking on the phone (and if you do talk on the phone, save the phone bill with the call information and write down what you talked about).
Quoting moltocomeamore:
Quote:when did you find out that you were pregnant? and how far along were you then?
leave it alone, and when the baby comes out, take him for child support, they will offer a dna test, if it comes out his, he will pay for it. and then he will be ordered to pay child support.
but for now, leave him alone, he is going to listen to his family over a girl.
I found out on March 16, around apr 11 I went in for my first check up, and they were saying I was about 9 weeks. May 9 and by then they were saying I was 12/13 weeks. The weeks between I was sent for blood work and they were asking what kind of blood he had and etc, so I would contact him to ask what the office asked me.
I just don't want to give him any room to say that he didn't know that I was pregnant or what was going on and then try and play that in court if we end up there. I've seen courts go so wrong and it only hurts the kid(s) in the end and I'd rather not have his money than have my kid hurt.
Quote:We had been together for 2 years at that point, but had only been living together for about 1.5 months which is why I "got pregnant too fast" for it to be his. that's the argument. I know it is his, I know what I have done/who I have been with,
If you were engaged doesn't that mean you were in a relationship with him for long enough that it wouldn't even matter if it were 19 weeks, it would still be his?
Quoting futureshock:If you were engaged doesn't that mean you were in a relationship with him for long enough that it wouldn't even matter if it were 19 weeks, it would still be his?
My STBXH
- moltocomeamore
on May. 28, 2012 at 10:08 AM