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Now he wants to be "friends"?! Seriously?!

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My newborn's dad contacted me about a week before I gave birth and wanted to "apologize" for everything he had done to me, sorry that I had to have this baby alone, blahblahblah.  Once I got out of the hospital from the c-section, I started gettinf texts every day or every couple of days to ask how I am, what I'm up to, if I want to see him, how's Hunter and my other sons, that he's sorry I had to go through surgery alone and it must've been terrifying, he wants to make everything up to me when he sees me, yadda yadda yadda.  Stuff I've heard before, then once I gave in, he screws me over AGAIN.  

However, this time just seems weird.  I don't know if it's because his son (keep in mind, he begged me to abort this pregnancy in the beginng and we split up because I wouldn't) is finally here, if he's grown up since I've been gone, or what...  He keeps apologizing for doing me wrong and assuring me that I didn't do anything but be a good woman to him and he screwed up.  O.o  Probably a scam...but I just don't know.  He keeps asking to see me, and I keep telling him I don't want to see him if all he wants is sex and then screw me over like all the other times and after some joking, he says he understands and respects that.

What do you think?  Should I see him...if nothing more than to introduce him to his son?  Try to be friends with him?  What would you do?   

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by on Jun. 2, 2012 at 4:48 PM
Replies (11-20):
happymommy1105
by Gold Member on Jun. 3, 2012 at 11:15 AM
I would let him see the baby and be a dad. I wouldn't really try to be friends with him at this point.
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EmoRaRa
by on Jun. 3, 2012 at 1:20 PM
1 mom liked this

I honestly would not see him. If he has been this way before, then more than likely he has not changed. He just wants to be involved probably to make himself look good. My ex violated a restraining order in order to come to my house and say he grew up and wanted me back. I called the police because I knew he was full of crap, becasue he had had plenty of oppurtunity to step up and be a man and then he got himself in trouble and I had to go take an order out on him. It sounds like you have given this guy chance after chance. I wouldn't let him back because that lets him know that he can treat you anyway he wants and all he has to do is some apology and you'll come back to him. I say leave his ass, and show him that he can't treat people like that.

Wife2Chris0411
by on Jun. 3, 2012 at 2:11 PM
he should at least want to meet his son. i wouldn't be friends because it sounds like he just uses you for sex and that is it. I say let him have a relationship with his son and thats that.
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gabrielat
by on Jun. 3, 2012 at 3:17 PM

Honestly, I wouldn't. My son's dad did the same thing, except my situation is way different than yours. He would tell me things will be different, he'll be there for me and Dominic and every time he said that I'd go back to him. Now that I wouldn't get back together with him or be friends with him, he's got a new lady and says I was the problem. 

If your ex is acting this way with you and doing the same shit over and over agin, nothing is going to change, I promise you. Just because he's texting you everyday to work things out, doesn't mean he'll change. Remember actions speak louder than words. Give it a little while longer. Deny him when he says he wants to be friends with you or get back together. If you keep telling him no see if he just says fuck it. 

My baby daddy did the same thing. Once I finally said "No I'm not getting back with you", He stopped texting me about Dominic, he went off and got himself a new girlfriend in 2 weeks and doesn't make any effort to see his son. He only talks about Dominic when when I text him. Other than that I don't hear anything about wanting to see his son. 

Let HIM do the work. Don't let yourself believe his shit again you know? You'll just get hurt again. Let HIM make the effort to show you he's changed. Wait a little bit to see him and defiantly make him wait to see Hunter. Make him prove to you that he's changed and deserves to see you and Hunter. 

I'm sorry you're going through this hun. If you need anything you can inbox me. I'll help in any way I can. 


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A-Cubed
by on Jun. 3, 2012 at 3:23 PM
1 mom liked this

does he want to see you or the baby?  there's a difference you know

LOVEiink
by on Jun. 3, 2012 at 4:16 PM

Your ex sounds a lot like my twins' dad.  I would keep going back to him because he would talk me into it, and then he'd just screw up all over again until he finally left, claimed I was the issue, and has been through about 21 different girlfriends since he left us back in August of 2010, and he's still barely making the time for his kids.  -__-

Yea, Hunter's dad does his flip flopping bs too much.  I've been thinking a lot about it the past few days because he keeps asking if I have plans when I get back and then he'll make a stab at one of my really good guy friends about us hanging out...which shows either crazy jealousy issues or him just being a douche bag.  >.<  You make a lot of good points though...when I think about it, I don't really even want to see him because I just don't want the drama that can come along with it.  Even if he has changed, he's got some pretty insane ex girlfriends that cause hell for anyone he's with...and it's just not worth it.

Quoting gabrielat:

Honestly, I wouldn't. My son's dad did the same thing, except my situation is way different than yours. He would tell me things will be different, he'll be there for me and Dominic and every time he said that I'd go back to him. Now that I wouldn't get back together with him or be friends with him, he's got a new lady and says I was the problem. 

If your ex is acting this way with you and doing the same shit over and over agin, nothing is going to change, I promise you. Just because he's texting you everyday to work things out, doesn't mean he'll change. Remember actions speak louder than words. Give it a little while longer. Deny him when he says he wants to be friends with you or get back together. If you keep telling him no see if he just says fuck it. 

My baby daddy did the same thing. Once I finally said "No I'm not getting back with you", He stopped texting me about Dominic, he went off and got himself a new girlfriend in 2 weeks and doesn't make any effort to see his son. He only talks about Dominic when when I text him. Other than that I don't hear anything about wanting to see his son. 

Let HIM do the work. Don't let yourself believe his shit again you know? You'll just get hurt again. Let HIM make the effort to show you he's changed. Wait a little bit to see him and defiantly make him wait to see Hunter. Make him prove to you that he's changed and deserves to see you and Hunter. 

I'm sorry you're going through this hun. If you need anything you can inbox me. I'll help in any way I can. 


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animebuddy
by Platinum Member on Jun. 3, 2012 at 4:17 PM
I would just let him see his son and nothing else.
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LOVEiink
by on Jun. 3, 2012 at 4:18 PM

I'm pretty sure he's wanting to see me.  He's only asked about the baby maybe twice since he was born two weeks ago...and if he sees a picture or someone asks him about Hunter, all he says is, "Cute kid."

Quoting A-Cubed:

does he want to see you or the baby?  there's a difference you know


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gabrielat
by on Jun. 3, 2012 at 4:27 PM
1 mom liked this

Yea if he keep flipflopping, what's the point of letting him see his son so soon you know? He has to prove that he's not going to flip flop with Hunter. My mom flip flopped with me all my life, and it fucked me up. It's taken her 19 years and the birth of my son for her to finally change and be there for me. I still have a lot of anger towards her for not being consistant in my life. I used to always want her to just be out of my life for good than to keep going in and out. You really don't want Hunter going through that. It'll mess him up. Make sure your ex is being honest about wanting to see Hunter before you let him see him you know?

Quoting LOVEiink:

Your ex sounds a lot like my twins' dad.  I would keep going back to him because he would talk me into it, and then he'd just screw up all over again until he finally left, claimed I was the issue, and has been through about 21 different girlfriends since he left us back in August of 2010, and he's still barely making the time for his kids.  -__-

Yea, Hunter's dad does his flip flopping bs too much.  I've been thinking a lot about it the past few days because he keeps asking if I have plans when I get back and then he'll make a stab at one of my really good guy friends about us hanging out...which shows either crazy jealousy issues or him just being a douche bag.  >.<  You make a lot of good points though...when I think about it, I don't really even want to see him because I just don't want the drama that can come along with it.  Even if he has changed, he's got some pretty insane ex girlfriends that cause hell for anyone he's with...and it's just not worth it.

Quoting gabrielat:

Honestly, I wouldn't. My son's dad did the same thing, except my situation is way different than yours. He would tell me things will be different, he'll be there for me and Dominic and every time he said that I'd go back to him. Now that I wouldn't get back together with him or be friends with him, he's got a new lady and says I was the problem. 

If your ex is acting this way with you and doing the same shit over and over agin, nothing is going to change, I promise you. Just because he's texting you everyday to work things out, doesn't mean he'll change. Remember actions speak louder than words. Give it a little while longer. Deny him when he says he wants to be friends with you or get back together. If you keep telling him no see if he just says fuck it. 

My baby daddy did the same thing. Once I finally said "No I'm not getting back with you", He stopped texting me about Dominic, he went off and got himself a new girlfriend in 2 weeks and doesn't make any effort to see his son. He only talks about Dominic when when I text him. Other than that I don't hear anything about wanting to see his son. 

Let HIM do the work. Don't let yourself believe his shit again you know? You'll just get hurt again. Let HIM make the effort to show you he's changed. Wait a little bit to see him and defiantly make him wait to see Hunter. Make him prove to you that he's changed and deserves to see you and Hunter. 

I'm sorry you're going through this hun. If you need anything you can inbox me. I'll help in any way I can. 




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gabrielat
by on Jun. 3, 2012 at 4:29 PM

Omg! That's exactly what my ex says about Dominic "He's cute." Like really? Wtf is that? Can't you say something more? 

Quoting LOVEiink:

I'm pretty sure he's wanting to see me.  He's only asked about the baby maybe twice since he was born two weeks ago...and if he sees a picture or someone asks him about Hunter, all he says is, "Cute kid."

Quoting A-Cubed:

does he want to see you or the baby?  there's a difference you know




Lilypie First Birthday tickers

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