I have no clear way to title this but I know you girls should have tons of words on this lol.
There's this guy who has been my best guy friend for going on 7 years now but we've never been "normal" friends I guess you can say. We always had sexual tension and we talked about going out all the time. Neither of us seemed to have our head on straight when we met, which is probably why nothing progressed. I met my ex when this guy and I were having issues because I started falling for him and he was weird. It was a mess, I then got pregnant with my DD by my ex and it clearly seemed to bother this guy, especially when he found out how my ex had treated me.
Fast forward four years, he was working a job across the country but just recently moved back about a month ago. We still regularly talked and it was still evident that we still felt the same way about each other. It's at the point where there is so much sexual tension I'm starting to feel like a damn man thinking with the wrong head lol. I feel like so much has gone on and there's so much ridiculously strong chemistry between us, that it just needs to happen. We aren't together and we haven't dated but I haven't been with anyone but my ex and that was 4 years ago and this guy has been holding out too. I'm not sure why because in my head guys never hold out for girls but this guy has never been one to be shady to me. He's been the most perfect guy I could ever ask for.
I've decided that before summer is over, I'm going to sleep with this guy. It's going to happen. Seven years of this crap and it's time someone gives because if it doesn't, I'm going to go crazy. He lives about 2.5 hours from me now, but that's nothing considering he was literally living 27+ hours away a few months ago. I'm so freaking nervous though when it comes to having sex with him. I don't know if it's because we've built it up so much, the fact I haven't had sex in almost 4 years now or because I've never cared this much about a guy in my life. Trust me, even my ex said we didn't work out because he could never be this guy and knew how I've always felt about him. I'm confident but not 100% because I'm very self conscious about my body.
The last time I saw this guy, I was at my all time high in weight but I've lost almost 40 lbs since then but I still feel nervous. I need advice on how to just stop worrying and do the damn thing lol. I know that no person is perfect but even with his flaws and his crazy antics, he just fits me. Even though I've put him through hell and I've driven him crazy (I'm also bipolar, too), he's never once held it against me. I don't think I've ever managed to fully make him mad or upset with him and I've honestly tried to intentionally just to see if i could because i don't know how to deal with someone who understands me and doesn't easily get mad. I feel like I'm going crazy.