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I need some single moms to talk to.

Posted by on Jun. 9, 2012 at 8:26 PM
  • 31 Replies

Everyone is so over me talking about the father of my child. I cant help it, Im hurt & confused. We have never actually been offically together & when I got pregnant he was like Im here & a lot of drama was going on due to him lying about him & his "ex" who wasnt his ex. Tis girl has put him throught everything & has cheated on him gave him STDs got him evicted twice from places & has even cheated on him for money. As soon as she found out I was pregnant she acted like she was & has all along. She is scuh a awlful insane person. He moved in with me & said he was done with her & blah blah, the two days later he said he was staying at his moms. He never came back after that. He was actually with her & e ended up living me at 9 wks pregnant alone & I had such a high risk pregnancy & stressful one at that. All along he never called or was concerned with me & his unborn child. The girl said everything she could on FB about me & claiming she was pregnant. I had my daughter & 2 wks later contacted him bc I was scared that his mom & him would come after me due to putting him on child support bc of medical for my daughter. He said that they had broke up after she went nuts on him one day & he finally saw how she really was & how insane she was. He was saying how he thought of me & his dauhgter everyday & he missed me & loved hearing my voice. It was like nothing had happened & we kinda fell back into how we was other than me not trusting him bc of all that had happened when I was pregnant. I even confronted the crazy chick. But she keeps saying things on FB once again like on the 21st he stayed the night with me & went to a bar that night with my brother & when I woke up she had said that he was lying about being a bar & things & threating me. Then from me having his email password to his gmail I guess she put this hiddon ap on his phone where it does the GPS & takes a random picture. After this big blow out on may 9th & we confronted her it took a picture the next day of her holding his phone in his car. O the 21st he told me he was jealous bc my ex had came over that day & he keepsd saying how down the road he wants to  put a ring on it & saying for me not to go crazy in relationships & seeing other people & he isnt with her & just wants to be single for awhile, but Ive been seeing pictures on his email of him laying the bed with the same bedding as she is posting on FB & after we had a great night on the 21st & he spent the night. I went out with my brother & sister to a movie & ran into him & he was with a girl who I couldnt see well, but looked like his crazy ex. I was so hurt bc he has NEVER done anything for me & after everything she has done he took her out after being with me that morning. Then this morning she checked in at "home swwet home." & it was at his house. He keeps saying she doesnt live with him & he doesnt even talk to her, that she only works at his moms place bc they have no way of firing her. I have all this proof & he keeps lying to me & I know he does, but Im so in love with him & I hate that he is like this. I dont know what to do to move on & stop wanting to be with him & trying to prove myself. Please I really need someone to talk to. I know I sound so stupid, but everytime I see him he draws me back into wanting to be with him. Its even worst now bc I want him around for our daughter. PLEASE HELP!!

by on Jun. 9, 2012 at 8:26 PM
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Replies (1-10):
MsGrayciesMommy
by on Jun. 9, 2012 at 8:33 PM
1 mom liked this
I kinda have a similar story. I especially know about everyone being annoyed by talking about your bangs dad. I feel the same way. Add me on FB and id love to talk and help each other out! :)
facebook.com/kenlynsmommy
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Renee47
by on Jun. 9, 2012 at 8:40 PM
1 mom liked this

Get rid of him now he will cause you nothing bu pain sorry mama you need to take care of you baby and move on!

lbacall
by on Jun. 9, 2012 at 8:41 PM

Oh & forgot to mention how she keeps saying she had a litte girl & has even went as far as to send a picture of MY daughter to her cousin saying it was hers!!!! & he wants her in his life idk what to think about that.

SinceresMomma
by on Jun. 9, 2012 at 9:02 PM
1 mom liked this
Listen and I hope you really listen. Pull yourself away from that situation. He's living his life so you paying attention to his every move is only hurting you. I've been there and it's painful. Stop snooping through his and his girlfriends fb. What's is it proving? Besides what you already know. If you know he's lying from the start don't pipe your head up. Stop going to saying I have evidence, blah blah blah. Take that "evidence" as a sign sweetie, that's he's moved on. And be happy that your not in a relationship with someone like him. Life your life. Get out there and have fun.
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allison37
by on Jun. 9, 2012 at 9:11 PM

Run the other way as fast as you can!  You and your baby deserve so much better.  I was fooled for a while by my son's father and I overlooked a lot of things.  Now that I have removed my self from the situation  I realize how crazy it was.  Time and clarity will make things easier for you, eventually.  If you keep on with this much chaos in your life it will eventually take its toll on you and your child.

lbacall
by on Jun. 9, 2012 at 9:55 PM
The thing is I know that's what I need to do, but I can't make myself do it. Idk maybe I kept thinking if I stay around he will chose me inventually.
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mrsary
by Silver Member on Jun. 9, 2012 at 10:04 PM
1st thing is don't get pregnant by him again! Protect yourself from more heartache & the physical parts of having another baby with no supportive partner.
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brieri
by Platinum Member on Jun. 9, 2012 at 10:42 PM

 Hi and welcome to the group.

lbacall
by on Jun. 9, 2012 at 10:48 PM
Trust me I dnt want to get pregnant again by him or anybody else for that matter and brieri thank you
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one_on_the_way
by on Jun. 9, 2012 at 10:56 PM

I think you should find time to read "Are You the One For Me" and also "Secrets About Life Every Woman Should Know" (both by Barbara Angelis).  I read them both years ago and will periodically reference them when I'm going through things.

I'm going to be completely honest with you.  Just based on the little bit you wrote, my feeling is that you have very low self-esteem and I think it would be best for you to work on building yourself up.  You deserve way better than the man you described (yet, you say you 'love him so much' -- Let me guess.... he's one of those guys who has 'been through so much in his life' and has 'opened up to you about his 'real' self' and you feel like you see him differently than any other person in the world and that you can somehow 'save' him if only he'd let you'?  Even a little bit close?  I know I could be wrong, but I've found that my intuition on this kind of thing is usually pretty accurate).  I know how it hurts to know the man you care about doesn't care the same way for you (words are WORTHLESS --- actions speak loud and clear!).

I hope you figure out how to truly love yourself and that you don't base your value on your relationship status.  Your daughter deserves to have a strong, proud, grounded, and confident mother.  Know your worth -- and don't ever settle for less than you deserve. 

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