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Dating

Posted by on Jun. 11, 2012 at 11:00 PM
  • 7 Replies

I have a 21- month old son to start off. I am only 20 and have been raising him alone for the past year and a half.

So I have been dating my boyfriend who is not my son's father (Tony) for almost 6 months. He is the first serious relationship since Tony and I have no idea what to do. My bf has met my son a few times and hears me talk about him constantly, but I am not sure where to go after that. How soon is too soon to introduce someone as a bf and not just a friend? What if my bf doesn't want to meet him, how much time do I let go by until I need to realize I need to move on from that person? I am so confused that it hurts.

My boyfriend is the type of person that came from a big catholic family. He has a vision in his head that he wants to get married, have lots of kids and raise them in his home town. He claims he is old-fashioned when it comes to dating, but I feel like that is not an option for me. How can having a child out of wedlock and so young go in the direction of old-fashioned?

I just really need some advice about what to do with the current bf and how to approach future relationships. *This is my first post ever, and its kind of deep. Sorry!

by on Jun. 11, 2012 at 11:00 PM
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Replies (1-7):
LifeCafe42
by Nora on Jun. 12, 2012 at 12:14 AM
1 mom liked this
Welcome to the group. You need to follow your heart and what you feel is right.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Cpdsptchgrl
by on Jun. 12, 2012 at 12:17 AM
Unless this is going down a serious road like marriage or co-habitating (which I don't recommend unless it's headed to marriage) I would just introduce him as mommy's very good friend and leave it at that. I would pretty much restrict all interaction to basically hi and goodbye until it's very serious. I didn't...and my oldest DD paid the price.
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cadeesmommy0120
by on Jun. 12, 2012 at 9:25 AM

 

Quoting LifeCafe42:

Welcome to the group. You need to follow your heart and what you feel is right.

 

stillstandin246
by on Jun. 12, 2012 at 10:26 AM

I agree...introduce him as your friend until things are really serious.  Your son is young so he doesn't really need the distinction.  And talk to your bf about how he feels about meeting/spending time with your son.  My point is that you don't want to get more involved and keep going down this road if your bf doesn't want to meet him.  And if he doesn't seem enthusiastic about being with you AND your son, it will be time to let him go.  You are both young and he might have set in his head the way he thinks things need to be for him.  But you need someone who is going to love your son as much as you.  On the other hand, if he wants to meet and spend time with your son, maybe you can both take him to the park or something casual. 

Kstatebabe78
by on Jun. 12, 2012 at 10:40 AM

Hi. I was a single mom at 18 and struggled with this too. Now that I'm in my 30s I can tell you that the best thing to do is to keep your dating life and your life as being a mom separate until you and your bf are on the same page with things. I would talk to your bf and let him know your concerns about his faith and his idea of what your relationship should be. Just because you have a kiddo doesn't mean that you can't be "old fashioned" and take things slowly to build a long and lasting relationship. If he's not willing to accept you and your kiddo into his world and his future then it's better to find out before your child is around him too much. Good luck!! Being young and a single mom is tough, but you can do it!

mama.jehd
by on Jun. 12, 2012 at 12:31 PM

 Thanks for all your advice :)

Machelle669
by on Jun. 12, 2012 at 12:32 PM
Welcome


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