BD lives 1000 miles away from Ohio. What are his rights after the baby is born?
I am currently pregnant with my first. She is due Aug 1st, 2012. I was in a relationship for a few months with a guy who I new had a rocky past, but our common friends swore up and down that he had his shit together. Boy, were they wrong. We started dating in August of last year, but had been acquaintances for about a year beforehand. We were into the bar scene and going out every weekend. He had a few outburts over silly things that never resorted to any violence towards me, just yelling. He did have one outburst where he punched a cement wall and screwed up his hand pretty bad(stupid). Well one night towards the end of October, I met him somewhere after I got off work and he had gotten drunk with a buddy of his. He got in an argument with the bar owner and stormed out of the bar, ripping the front door off the hinges on his way out. He was arrested, because I refused to be the getaway car lol. I ended up bailing him out. He paid me back the following day and I broke up with him. Two weeks later I found out I was pregnant. My first mistake was telling him. I was scared and weak and ended up letting him back in. I was exhausted during my first trimester and he was having issues with his roommates so I let him move out with me to help out around the house. It was great for a while. He was cooking, cleaning, and being supportive. He came to all my appointments and was genuinely excited. Then he started going out again and getting drunk with friends. He'd go spend a bunch of money at the bar eventhough I was obviously stressed about money and the expenses that were coming with the baby. We went to my bosses house on superbowl Sunday and he drank a 12 pack by himself. His phone died and he asked to used mine. He went through my text messages and found a message (about the weather or something stupid like that) from a guy that I used to talk to. I had never responded to the guy, but that didnt matter. He flew off the handle. We left while he proceeded to scream at me in front of my boss. On the drive home he continued. He picked up my phone, read the message and then threw my phone at me while I was driving. There was a cop right behind me. I pulled over and told him to get out of the car. The cop called for back up and came to talk to me. The next cop to show up took my baby's father towards his car and tried to calm him down. The police documented everything and I left my baby's father there on the side of the road. I didn't feel safe having him in the car with me. He called me several times that night. At first the messages were angry and he was shouting that he wanted a paternity test before I saw a dime from him. Then, the calls got desperate and he begged for me to not do this to "him", because every girl wants to be a single parent, right? The folllowing day I had a friend come over while he came to get his stuff. I explained to him that I no longer felt safe and he went on for a half hour begging for forgiveness. I can honestly say that if there was not a child involved I would probably have taken him back, but I have to think like a mommy now and do whats best for my baby girl. He continued to call and bother me for a few weeks so I changed my phone number. All of my family lived a 1000 miles away, so I gave a months notice at my job and moved home to live with my mother until she is born. It's a struggle. I had an awesome job there and made great money and I just have a part time job here, because physically I cant do a full time nursing job. He's told our common friends that he wants to find for visitation, but I'm praying that he doesnt. The outbursts that I saw have caused me to not trust him with a child. Since I've been home I've tried to dig for dirt and found out what his "rocky" history consisted of. He had 4 domestic violence charges that are around 5 years old. 3 are against his own mother and one and ex-girlfriend. Phew! I dodged that bullet. So, basically I'm hoping he leaves us alone and though I dont want to do it alone, I will for my baby's safety.
I plan on not putting him on the birth certificate so he will have to take me to court to get a paternity test ordered. I'm concerned that he will end up with visitation because I dont know what the rights are in Ohio. It seems to be that if his violent history is documented and he has a record, (I have no record and Im a nurse btw), that a judge would be hesitant to give him any visitation. I've also heard that if it did not occur while the child is alive, that the violence isnt held against him. I also think that he owes court fees from previous driving violations. Any ladies out there know what my rights/fathers rights are?