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Single Moms Single Moms

Am I wrong in thinking this way?

 I am going to start this off with an appology. Im not the best at getting my words that are in my head and heart out the right way. LOL My friends joke that I dont speak english I speak(mynickname)ese. If someone needs an interp or says it better ill help! lol ok here goes.......

 

I believe that while your dating (not in the very begining though thats the fun get to know you) that it should be a this is how/could be type thing. This is how I would be if we were married. This is how I would treat you as my husband. This is how life would/could be like with me. I don't date just to date. I date with the possibility of marriage in the whatever future. I feel like I don't have the luxury anymore of just dating for the hell of it. I have a child in the mix now. I have to be careful who I bring into his life.

Ive been married I know what happens. Things change after the I dos and first year (in some cases 2) have come and gone. Things settle down a little bit. If they treat you like "I know I should make an effort but I don't wanna, or I'm gonna do what I'm gonna do your JUST/ONLY the....... (whatever they call you)" after you get to the comfortable stage its just going to get worse IF you get to the marriage stage!

Am I wrong? Could someone put this into normal speak? LOL

please dont get me wrong this is the way I feel about myself. Im not holding anyone else to mine or putting you down if there is another point of view.

juggling Just a single mom living my life for my wonderful son! toddler boy

by on Jun. 13, 2012 at 1:38 AM
Replies (11-13):
zmama22
by on Jun. 13, 2012 at 11:38 AM

i never dated w/marriage in mind. probably why i never got married. and now that i'm a single mom, i have even a stronger aversion to bringing a new man into my household on a day-to-day w/my DD. he'd have to be really special for me to consider marriage now.  

brieri
by Platinum Member on Jun. 13, 2012 at 4:32 PM

 I don't look at a marriage when I am dating in the first two years.  Dating is dating.  Two years later can be worked to getting married.  It worked for me, but then something drastic happened, and failed marriage became a disastrous divorce.  That's when I found out who I've been with really well. 

mylilgooberpea
by on Jun. 13, 2012 at 5:59 PM

 I hear you, that's kinda how my BF is now. They are too set in their ways to give up things that are important to give up when in a serious relationship. They are selfish and not wanting to change or "forced" to do anything they don't feel as comfortable. The men my age are gay (sad for me because most are gorgeous! good for the other gay men though), married, into drugs and parting, workaholics, or the old stallion that cant be "broken". After this relationship ends... which I fear it will soon if things don't change.... Its going to be a LONG time before I find someone my age and willing to date someone who already has a child.

Quoting steviechick:

When we are young - mid 20's we date to find someone to marry.   I know - I did.   We think we marry Mr. Right but then years go by and then we realize slowly but surely that we married the wrong guy.  I know I'm not perfect, but I didn't cause the problems in my divorce.  My ex did. 

Now that I'm older it's a lot harder to feel the same way again about marriage let alone finding someone my age to date.  Guys are set in their life and some just aren't willing to date just one woman or date at all.  I don't understand that concept.  Why spend your life alone?  What is it about not wanting to date even after you've been married?   Not every woman wants to get married again.  I don't.  I'm rambling.........

 

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